Bad Days for My Family's Health

[Japher]

On Friday my Lil' Sis found out that her unborn child is not developing properly. It's intestines, and probably other stuff, are developing outside of the child. She goes to see a specialist today.

Also on Friday my Grandma learned that she has Bone Cancer, the same thing that took her late husband not too long ago. She goes to see an oncologist this week.

The cancer sucks, but since my Grandpa died my Grandma has been just buying time waiting to die as well. Ironic that she'll die of the same thing he did... Oh, she has decided to forgo treatment if they offer to her. Basically, she is ready to die and has been since my grandpa died. It's a long story, but he was her reason for living.

The one that really irks me is my lil' sis. She has a history of mental problems stemming from her lack of ability to deal with stress and heartache. She's been on every anti-depressant medication ever mentioned on these boards. She got off of them about 1 year ago when she got married. She is a very clingy person needing to give love (not sex)at all times. Losing a child will definitly affect her in a negative way, more so than it would most people.

Basically, I just wanted to share my angst, as it helps to talk about it to ppl who are more rational than my parents. Yet, I was also wondering what you'd all would do if you were in my sisters situation. Would you consider abortion? She's just over 4 mos along.

Personally, I want to here what the specialist says. Yet, I don't think prognosis will be good, and I also think that an abortion would be worse for her than a still birth or even death in the NICU.

What would you do?

[molly bloom]

I'm sorry to hear of your family's health troubles. I understand your Grandmother's thinking, one of my grandmother's gave up the fight to live too, following a traumatic operation and a bereavement.

Your sister's situation may not be that grave- the medical condition you describe is capable of being resolved, so a termination may not be necessary.
I trust that her visit to the specialist brings her good news.

I hope you will be strong for them and for yourself- my very best wishes.

[Japher]

Thanks molly. We don't condone abortion, but we aren't specialist either. We trust that her and her husband make the right decision based on the information they receive.

One nice thing was that his parents were there visiting this weekend, and his dad is a doctor who understands these things better than I. Hopefully he was able to make her feel better.

[Solver]

My best wishes to your family.

Indeed, it appears that your sister's situation is far from hopeless. A good specialist has a decent chance of solving the problem.

As for your grandmother... let her do as she wants. If she wants to put a stop to her life as it is, let her.

[SlowwHand]

Dang, Japher. Sorry it's piling up on you.
My grandmother died last week, so I know it isn't easy.
Like you and yours, I'm against abortion, in most cases.
I'll pray for all.

[JohnT]

Sorry, Japher. I don't have much advice in re: to your sister, but I sincerely hope everything turns out OK.

[Ben Kenobi]

Yet, I don't think prognosis will be good, and I also think that an abortion would be worse for her than a still birth or even death in the NICU.

See the specialist, and see what they have to say. There may be something that can be done to help your sister's child.

Until then, a decision does not need to be made.

Otherwise, I agree with your assessment.

Best wishes to your family in these trying times.

[Japher]

The child has been diagnosed as being Trisomy 18. Trisomy 21 is down syndrom (spelling). Also, besides it's (only because they can't discern the sex) insides being on the outside, it's heart is not developing (it has holes in it) and the lungs are growing in off it's back.,....

Either my sis did some serious drugs I don't know about, or this is just bad luck... Sad thing is the Doc told her that the chances of this reoccuring in another pregnancy is 1/100... not that great of odds for the good if you ask me.

I guess this is why we do genetic research.

IMO, the abortion is required to prevent the suffering.

Sorry

What do you think?

[Japher]

Oh and Trisomy 18 is worse than trisomy 21... The doc told her the kid might live to be a year old, but would never leave the hospital... gaurenteed.

[Drake Tungsten]

Jesus. My thoughts are with your sister, Japher. No one should have to make a decision like this.

[Japher]

thanks... I feel for her. It really doesn't affect me, but such things, IMO, are the reason why abortion is legal, and should be left up to the parents. I wish my sis the best, and will be there when she needs me... that's all I can do.

[FrustratedPoet]

Oh my god, I'm so sorry.

I wouldn't normally give my opinion, but since you asked us what we thought..... it sounds to me like an abortion is the most humane way to deal with the situation - as long as that's the decision your sister makes. The suffering of both mother and child have to be taken into account. If ending the suffering of the kid a few months sooner than it's 'natural time' is only gonna make the mother suffer more than maybe it isn't the best plan overall.
A nightmare decision for anyone to have to make.

[Gatekeeper]

This is the time when I would go off by myself, talk with God ... and beg and pray that I'm doing the right thing, that the lesson intended was just that, to feel the loss of a child.

I would go with abortion.

Gatekeeper

[Pekka]

This sounds pretty bad, I'm sorry Japher .

I don't know if there is anything to do, except to be strong so you can support your sister and grandma too.
Not very huge advices, but I couldn't think of anything else now.

[Mr. Harley]

That is terrible, and has a hideous irony in it dovetailing neatly with a response I just gave on a post to Ben. I hope she goes with abortion, for both her sake and the sake of what the quality of life would be for the child.

I hope you get the opportunity to be there for her when she gets the abortion, as well as other family members. That's going to be horribly rough. I cringe to think of my little girl being diagnosed with that back when she was in the second trimester. I don't think I would have handled it well, though we had discussed it beforehand and decided if that was the case, to abort. My heart goes out to your family.