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**MrFun** · January 7, 2004, 01:51

Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui

Blackmail material.... excelllent.

**Pekka** · January 7, 2004, 01:53

I don't think is a big deal, something to get worried over. I don't know, my picture about the gay dating scene is that there's sex after 5 minutes, so this strikes me as a strange date

.

Anyway, so, he's ready to date you, nothing wrong with that.. maybe he's been looking for longer time and knows what he wants, and found you and noticed that a) you match his physical needs b) you match his 'intellectual' and mental needs .. and *bling* he wants to date you. I think it's nothing to get worried about? I think that's only good....

**MrFun** · January 7, 2004, 01:57

Originally posted by Pekka
I don't think is a big deal, something to get worried over. I don't know, my picture about the gay dating scene is that there's sex after 5 minutes, so this strikes me as a strange date

.

Anyway, so, he's ready to date you, nothing wrong with that.. maybe he's been looking for longer time and knows what he wants, and found you and noticed that a) you match his physical needs b) you match his 'intellectual' and mental needs .. and *bling* he wants to date you. I think it's nothing to get worried about? I think that's only good....

Well, gay guys who have grown out of perpetual adolescence tend to be more serious about relationships.

I'm just hoping that he doesn't put anymore additional pressure on me when we have dinner in a couple of days. I want to enjoy our company, and see where it goes -- and I'm not sure where yet.

**MrFun** · January 7, 2004, 02:01

Ken also has passionate interests in spirituality and in-depth human psychology -- and right now, he's in between jobs -- he has two or three degrees, his most recent one being in a computer-technical field. We talked a lot about spirituality and psychology, and we also talked about one of my passionate interests -- politics of remembering the Civil War and Reconstruction and how that affects race relations.

**Tiamat** · January 7, 2004, 02:05

So if I read right you two did meet on a dating service of sorts as well as you have had several conversations before you met and you did spend three hours talking and hitting it off. He may be making the assumption that since you guys did meet on a dating service that you are ready quickly to make some type of commitment or at least that you are looking for something or someone. Usually people don't go to those types of sites or meet from there unless they are looking to get into something, be it dating or long term.

He has obviously made the assumption that you are wanting to do one of the two and making that assumption it would be natural for him to wonder so what's the next step. Besides he may be tired of the dating seen and found someone that he is instantly attracted to, finds you interesting, intelligent and obviously you two had more to talk about then the weather......to him quite possibly you could be a gold mine. Nes pa?

**Asher** · January 7, 2004, 02:14

Holy ****, he's old! I hope he gets life insurance. Gay people die at 25, IIRC.

**Zylka** · January 7, 2004, 02:15

I'm just reeling at some of the intelligent conversation you're having with yourself in this thread, alone. Well often it's take two, as saids they needed yes

In any case.. g'luck with yer boytoy. Or squeeze. Or special someone. Whatever he's worth!

**MrFun** · January 7, 2004, 02:36

Originally posted by Tiamat
So if I read right you two did meet on a dating service of sorts as well as you have had several conversations before you met and you did spend three hours talking and hitting it off. He may be making the assumption that since you guys did meet on a dating service that you are ready quickly to make some type of commitment or at least that you are looking for something or someone. Usually people don't go to those types of sites or meet from there unless they are looking to get into something, be it dating or long term.

He has obviously made the assumption that you are wanting to do one of the two and making that assumption it would be natural for him to wonder so what's the next step. Besides he may be tired of the dating seen and found someone that he is instantly attracted to, finds you interesting, intelligent and obviously you two had more to talk about then the weather......to him quite possibly you could be a gold mine. Nes pa?

I know all that he is ready for something more serious -- but could he reasonably have expected me to answer in the affirmative on our first meeting tonight?

But I am looking forward to our dinner Thursday -- I'll try to open myself up more in talking about what he wants in a serious relationship, and what I'm looking for.

I think I can get over my jitters from his question.

**MrFun** · January 7, 2004, 02:37

Originally posted by Asher
Holy ****, he's old! I hope he gets life insurance. Gay people die at 25, IIRC.

I've been dead for over a year already!?!?

**MrFun** · January 7, 2004, 02:38

Originally posted by Zylka

In any case.. g'luck with yer boytoy. Or squeeze. Or special someone. Whatever he's worth!

thanks, Zylka

**Al B. Sure!** · January 7, 2004, 02:53

hopefully you don't turn into another Albert Speer (ie, posting threads on your love life until Kingdom Come)

it's like I'm a living legend...

**Tiamat** · January 7, 2004, 03:36

**looks at avatar** Nope Albieeeee.........not you yet.

I think he was just a bit over anxious and really liked you and probably was kicking himself in the arse all the way home saying......"why in the hell did I say something so stupid as that? No you couldn't just be happy with the way things were going and now you probably scared him off and he will never want to see you again". For as much as it threw you I would imagine he's going the dumbass hell right now thinking he blew it.

**Sikander** · January 7, 2004, 05:36

I don't tend to trust people enough to want to jump into a relationship with them at all quickly. This makes me different from the majority. When I've tried to go quickly I find that I tend to sleep with them almost immediately, but I have never formed a lasting or particularly valuable relationship this way. It goes best for me when we start as friends and fall in love slowly but surely. It sounds like you might be similar to me in this way. If so, don't expect others to always understand or to make much in the way of concessions to your point of view though. Dating is nerve-wracking for almost everyone, and moreso when people try to operate outside of their expectations or zones of comfort. The bottom line is that there is a good chance that this won't work out due to this difference between you. Only you can decide whether or how much you should step outside of your comfort zone in order to meet him (halfway or whereever). He will make a similar decision, and the chips will fall where they fall. Good luck. Whether or not this particular situation works out, I'm sure that you will eventually get the sort of relationship that you need.

**Sikander** · January 7, 2004, 05:37

Eat flaming lead fascist double post!

**Berzerker** · January 7, 2004, 05:48

so we weren't sitting there twiddling our thumbs together.

Thumb wrestling or do they have helmets?

Announcement

So I met this guy . . . . . .

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