So I met this guy . . . . . .

[Agathon]

You're so gay.

[Sikander]

Originally posted by Agathon
You're so gay.

I bet you thought this thread was about you...

[Imran Siddiqui]

Originally posted by Albert Speer
it's like I'm a living legend...

I wouldn't say 'legend'

[Stuie]

Re: So I met this guy . . . . . .

Originally posted by MrFun
He asked me where I thought we would go from here. When he asked me this, from his body language and his excitement, he was interested in dating together right away.

I told him that I do not know yet where this will go. I said that I needed to see him a few more times before I can decide if we will just be friends, or if we will end up more than that, by dating, and then a serious relationship....

It's just plain and simple -- I'm not sure yet.

Isn't that what dating is for - to find out if you have an interest that could go beyond friendship?

I think you gave him the right response. Try to have fun and if you feel rushed, tell him to slow down. Just be honest with him about how you're feeling and see where things go.

[MrFun]

Originally posted by Sikander
I don't tend to trust people enough to want to jump into a relationship with them at all quickly. This makes me different from the majority. When I've tried to go quickly I find that I tend to sleep with them almost immediately, but I have never formed a lasting or particularly valuable relationship this way. It goes best for me when we start as friends and fall in love slowly but surely. It sounds like you might be similar to me in this way. If so, don't expect others to always understand or to make much in the way of concessions to your point of view though. Dating is nerve-wracking for almost everyone, and moreso when people try to operate outside of their expectations or zones of comfort. The bottom line is that there is a good chance that this won't work out due to this difference between you. Only you can decide whether or how much you should step outside of your comfort zone in order to meet him (halfway or whereever). He will make a similar decision, and the chips will fall where they fall. Good luck. Whether or not this particular situation works out, I'm sure that you will eventually get the sort of relationship that you need.

thanks

[MrFun]

Re: Re: So I met this guy . . . . . .

Originally posted by Stuie


Isn't that what dating is for - to find out if you have an interest that could go beyond friendship?

I think you gave him the right response. Try to have fun and if you feel rushed, tell him to slow down. Just be honest with him about how you're feeling and see where things go.

I know -- but to ask this question at the end of our first time together??

Anyway, I'm having dinner with him tomorrow, and I hope that goes well.

[MrFun]

Originally posted by Berzerker


Thumb wrestling or do they have helmets?

Hey -- you gave me a great idea for a new reality show -- Thumb Survivor!

[Stuie]

Exactly what did he ask? I mean, what words did he use? Maybe you read a little too much into what he was asking.

It may just have been his waying of saying "can we get together again?"

[Ming]

Originally posted by Albert Speer
it's like I'm a living legend...

Well... you certainly are in the Ban Log

[MrFun]

Originally posted by Stuie
Exactly what did he ask? I mean, what words did he use? Maybe you read a little too much into what he was asking.

It may just have been his waying of saying "can we get together again?"

He asked if I knew if I wanted us to date, or if we were just going to be friends. I could have expected this question after having spent time together a few more times. And it was the way that he asked that I could tell he wanted to exclusively date.

[Japher]

Oh no MrFun, a GUY propositioned you on your first "date"!!!! And to think, I thought you were a guy too... Obviously thinking with the wrong head

[MrFun]

Originally posted by Japher
Oh no MrFun, a GUY propositioned you on your first "date"!!!! And to think, I thought you were a guy too... Obviously thinking with the wrong head

I bet your wife was the one who proposed to you.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

He asked you out. What's the big deal?

Is there some sort of problem with knowing that the bloke wants to bonk you? I thought that came with the territory of advertising for mates.

[MrFun]

That's not the big deal, Lazarus -- I felt somewhat uncomfortable at first, when he asked if I knew where we were heading in terms of relationship only after our first evening at the cafe.

And we're on the same level, in that we think dating and relationships involve more than "bonking" -- we did not do after that evening.

[Stuie]

Originally posted by MrFun


He asked if I knew if I wanted us to date, or if we were just going to be friends. I could have expected this question after having spent time together a few more times. And it was the way that he asked that I could tell he wanted to exclusively date.

Man, he needs to slow down. Just tell him you'd like a chance to get to know him better before you commit to anything. Try to get some background info out of him so you know where he's coming from - maybe there's some reason he feel the need to jump into a relationship (and that's not necessarily a good thing... but not necessarily bad, either).

Good luck!