discipline.

[Whaleboy]

I know parents who have never spanked their kids, their kids are well behaved, intelligent, strong and full of personality.

Combat:

[Japher]

My mom kept all the large kitchen utensils in a large pot on the stove. One time she got mad, went for the spoon, and a grabbed one of them wooden speghiti strainers (the wooden spoon with all the spikes on it)... Man that hurt, I think she broke it on my arse.

[Whaleboy]

Jeez, Japh that sucks!

[Drogue]

That really shouldn't be funny It does indeed suck.

[St Leo]

I was lectured and lectured and lectured and lectured and lectured and...

I hate being lectured, but it was very effective IMHO.

[Dis]

Originally posted by Whaleboy
I know parents who have never spanked their kids, their kids are well behaved, intelligent, strong and full of personality.

Combat:

just because you can find one example doesn't mean it applies to everyone. For your info- not everyone is alike.

I didn't need much discipline because I was generally a good kid who knew how to think independantly and with logic even when I was very young. I did not need to be spanked. But some kids are just hellraisers, and you may need to spank them. In either case it should always be a last resort and should never be done in the heat of the moment. The best way to do it, is to send the kid to his room first, cool down, and then dole out punishment.

[Whaleboy]

St Leo: Seconded

just because you can find one example doesn't mean it applies to everyone. For your info- not everyone is alike.

That goes without saying. It does show it is possible for children to be raised in a non-violent household. Incidentally, my plural is not two. Off the top of my head, it is at least eight, all with very different kids.

We agree that hot-blooded assault is unacceptable. When one has full control of ones faculties, and the child has the opportunity to calm down, spanking them becomes plain abuse imo, and a poor substitute for other measures that can be taken, indeed, longer lasting. How many times do spankings have to be repeated? .

A parent who feels they must spank their children is an incompetant parent.

[-Jrabbit]

@ rah

Of course, we are from similar backgrounds and our kids are the same age... :shrug:

[rah]

Since my daughter is a straight A student that's never been in any real trouble and is in many activities including charity work, my wife and I must have done something right. At the least, we were not incompetant.
So your last statement, WB, is not necessarily true.

[Whaleboy]

Firstly, since your daughter appears to be well behaved and on "the right path", the need for spanking is neglected, so one can assume that you don't do it much, but my problem is that you reserve your right to do so.

A light spanking obviously has less consequences for the child than heavy spankings or beatings, but it is still assault, and I have never found it necessary to do so when I am primary carer for my brothers, nor would I do it even if I considered it necessary... there are always alternatives.

Your argument implies that your daughters success is due to your spanking, but I find that to both demean her abilities, and the positive aspects of your parenting.

[-Jrabbit]

He's certainly not saying that (your last statement), Whaleboy.
Get real.

[Whaleboy]

On the contrary, in a debate about corporal punishment, he brings in his daughters success, and his own parenting methods, where he supports the use of corporal punishment. The implication there is more than obvious.

[rah]

No, I was responding to your blatant eroneous generalization that any parent that spanks is incompetent. Nothing is ever that black and white.

And Yes, I do think I had the right to determine how my daughter was raised as long as I didn't beat her physically or mentally.
And personally, as long as I didn't, it's none of your concern. You can raise kids your way, and I'm entitled to my way, without your holier than thou attitude that I didn't do it right. The proof is in the results.

RAH
and now that she is 16, spanking is no longer an option.

[Whaleboy]

No, I was responding to your blatant eroneous generalization that any parent that spanks is incompetent. Nothing is ever that black and white.

Conceded, however it would be better defined as an act of incompetant parenting. A negative that does not preclude the existence of other positives, but negative nonetheless.

And Yes, I do think I had the right to determine how my daughter was raised as long as I didn't beat her physically or mentally.
And personally, as long as I didn't, it's none of your concern. You can raise kids your way, and I'm entitled to my way, without your holier than thou attitude that I didn't do it right.

No need to get territorial. Of course you have the right to determine it, just as I have the right to say that I believe you are in error. Its not like im forcing you to do something. Lets not forget that it is a very slippery slope from spanking to beatings, especially if spankings do not work and the parent has little control over their emotions. You will concur that the hardest part of childcare is keeping a level head.

The proof is in the results.

So because you spanked your child, she turned out the way she did? I believe you are talking about your parenting method in general, you have not critiqued my point that spanking is a negative act towards ones child. You have merely demonstrated that other stuff you and your wife have done have outweighed that.

[Japher]

That really shouldn't be funny It does indeed suck.

Naw, I was a problem child. Not sure what I did to deserve that one, but I generally got spanked once a week for one thing or another; hitting/fighting with my sisters, swearing, sticking things where they don't belong, etc... Until I was out of elementry school I probably only went to 4 days of school (expeled the other 1, or sat in the principles office)... In Jr. High I was suspended about 3-4 times per year, my parents stopped punishing me about this time and just told me that it was up to me to direct my own life... In Jr. High I did get excellent grades and was in accelerated courses, but it wasn't until HS that I started straightening out... I needed and deserved spankings' the harder the better.

Indeed I was no daughter of rah... Careful there, rah, the quiet ones are always the worse