discipline.

[Az]

As a child I was reasoned with. But that's because I had a really strong loving relationship with my parents ( to this very day. ). But not all children are alike, I remember that even as a child I was confused when kids didn't behave well.

[TheStinger]

I have an 11 month old so clearly ( well it should be anyway) we haven't had to discipline him yet although we do tell him no when he tries to strangle the cat.

however we will do our best not to use physical means to punish him however when he is 3 and is about to electocute himself I just don't know what my reaction will be

[Kaak]

atleat he's not choking the chicken

[Pekka]

Kaak,Hmhh,, sounds pretty reasonable.. I've never heard of this before. But sounds good to me.

[rah]

Originally posted by TheStinger
will do our best

Is the opperative phrase. I wish you luck. I hope you deal with the frustration well, it's not easy.

[Japher]

I got hit with a wooden spoon, and then generally sent to my room for an hour or two... My mom broke many spoons on my arse, and I am a better person for having done so. Also, I respect my mom a lot more than my dad because of it.

I agree, Bribes prior for good behaviour is not setting the right example. I'm willing to make some exceptions if they're rewards for accomplishments. But even then, you must be careful.

I never got an allowance. My parents paid me for good grades, though. Tought you to either save money, or get a job since report cards only came out 4 times a year, five/six if you took summer school.

[Enigma_Nova]

Having psychological conditions (Repressed memory, Post-Traumatic Stress) I believe my experiences show the WRONG way.

They claim that they raised me 'normally', without smacking, with plenty of calm reasoning, and a lot of love.

My extreme mental abilities caused me to decide my own path and follow it, "Therefore, The Self's actions are performed, in case the Outside's actions are wrong".

I always had and always will be belligerent and hateful, because of the intolerance I was extended in my youth. My mother may be dying, but I still want revenge for the ideology that enslaved her.
I'm a vigilante these days.

To this end, I will not harm or attack children based on what they believe, so long as they DO have ideas.
While my own capacity for joy is gone, I endeavour to ensure that joy is present in others, by removing what causes my own pain.

(Yes this presumes that others have the same emotional responses as I - for the point of Natural Selection and preserving my kind, I choose the path that helps those similar to me)

Anyone who would attack their children for a differing ideology is the enemy in my books; most of you here are enemies.

[Whaleboy]

Whaleboy, I disagree with your reasoning. Kids can't fight back, sure, but that's not the situation. If you slap your kid, s/he is not supposed to fight back. It's not a fight situation.

Conceded, but I, as a fully grown adult, can do a hell of a lot more harm with a standard slap, than I can with the same slap to someone of my age. Kids are very very delicate, imo physical violence is unacceptable.

It's a bigger mistake to hit a child in anger. Or shout in anger. IMO you can shout, you can slap'em up a bit, but not when you are angry yourself.

Shouting, for fear purposes, is a sign that you have lost control... the stress response causes us to raise our voices etc. More acceptable than hitting of course, indeed the fear factor is useful, but the long term consequences of verbal assault are a numbed version of physical. The LT consequences of physical punishment, as I well know, are unacceptable.

But... I don't know what you meant with hitting,.... I mean little slapping maybe on the back of the head, NOT on the face and not too hard either. I don't know, maybe I can't do this, I must get a wife who beats my kids in the back of their heads. I think belt is far more brutal than slap. Or thumb up the butt.

Hitting on the head is a BIG no-no. The safest place would be the arse, where the padding is going to cause less damage, but even that is assault imo. My previous argument about the parent who has lost control holds true.

While I have no children, I have three little brothers, and with the latter two, I have been thrust into the role of parent due to ours being absent for most of the time. I know how annoying they are, and what a challenge it is to get them into line, yet I have NEVER found it either necessary to hit them, or had an overwhelming desire to do so. Simple logic (do this or you wont get this), a calming voice/presense, use of intimidation as a last resort, bribery, walking away, giving them something to do, and showing in sometimes graphic terms the effects of some of their behaviour (i.e. the "tragedy of violence" featuring Hector the teddy bear and Ben the whale).

To any parents out there who have been in the position where you would hit your child: Read some texts on child psychology. It will help you understand your child far more, and present alternative solutions to the angry, emotional, and frankly disturbing use of corporal punishment; a quick fix to someone who is incompetant enough to lose control.

To be blunt, I consider anyone who hits their children to be abusing them. I'm sorry if that offends you.

[rah]

Originally posted by Enigma_Nova
Anyone who would attack their children for a differing ideology is the enemy in my books; most of you here are enemies.

I don't think anyone has raised their hand to support that yet.

[Whaleboy]

They have now

[Inverse Icarus]

open hand to face until i was 12, fist for a while, with screaming.

he stopped when i was 15 and able to hurt back.

[Whaleboy]

You ok now, Uber?

[Inverse Icarus]

that opened me up for the flamers, now didn't it?

i'd like to think i'm fine now , although i do have some issues i'm dealing with.

the most visible right now is that i live in fear of consequence, which is good and bad. i stay out of trouble and i get all my work done, but i find myself scared to do things that might end badly, which is limiting my lifestyle.

for example, i've never gotten drunk, because of the consequences that it entails. i've drank a few times, but never more than a buzz. the fear of consequence keeps me from doing it, even though the odds of the consequence happening are low.

[Gangerolf]

Originally posted by Kaak


what does this do? make kids think they should be rewarded for doing what they are supposed to do? that just doesn't seem right at all...

hmmm. What if we rephrase it to "if you don't behave we won't take you too the zoo". Almost the same, but with the psychological difference that it emphasises that misbehaviour is bad. I dunno.
But I do know that if you don't reward them once in a while, they'll lose much of the incentive to follow your rules.

[Whaleboy]

Its good your ok now, you might find that you become more reckless(?) in later life. How old are you?