discipline.

[our_man]

'When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds - pretty standard really.'

When I was young I was sent to my room if I were being bold. Shouting was also used. As I got older, threats were usually enough to make me stay on my best behaviour.

[Shogun Gunner]

spanked with a wet noodle

[Pekka]

Whaleboy, I disagree with your reasoning. Kids can't fight back, sure, but that's not the situation. If you slap your kid, s/he is not supposed to fight back. It's not a fight situation. It's a bigger mistake to hit a child in anger. Or shout in anger. IMO you can shout, you can slap'em up a bit, but not when you are angry yourself.

But... I don't know what you meant with hitting,.... I mean little slapping maybe on the back of the head, NOT on the face and not too hard either. I don't know, maybe I can't do this, I must get a wife who beats my kids in the back of their heads. I think belt is far more brutal than slap. Or thumb up the butt.

[Gangerolf]

I was allowed to have titty posters and playboy mags. It's nothing in them you won't see on any public beach anyway. Porn was a big no-no though. No alcohol either, at least not until I was about 17. My dad found some beer bottles in my sock drawer when I was 15, he wasn't too pleased. He grounded me for the weekend and took the bottles away, but at least he paid for them.

[-Jrabbit]

This is clearly a generational issue. I'm 50, and most everyone I knew as a kid got punished. In Catholic school, it was expected. My Mom didn't believe in corporal punishment, but my Dad was big on "spare the rod, spoil the child." So if he was home...

Spankings were the common punishment. It got upgraded to The Belt when it was deemed egregious enough. But usually, I just got yelled at.

Though it was quite memorable, physical punishment didn't really happen that much.
I was an altar boy.

[Gangerolf]

I don't think slapping or yelling is necessary. There are better sanctions, like grounding or taking away privileges. Or encouraging. "Behave for a month and we'll take you to the zoo". stuff like that

[-Jrabbit]

Originally posted by Gangerolf
I was allowed to have titty posters and playboy mags. It's nothing in them you won't see on any public beach anyway. Porn was a big no-no though.

Gee, tough life...

No alcohol either, at least not until I was about 17.

Contributing to the delinquency...

My dad found some beer bottles in my sock drawer when I was 15. He grounded me for the weekend and took the bottles away, but at least he paid for them.

Don't know how you could withstand the disciplinary onslaught, dude...

[Gangerolf]

So I didn't have the most puritan upbringing.. But the legal drinking age here is 18 , so it's not that extreme.
If I wanted something I had to do something (work) to deserve it. My parents were really anal about that.

[Theben]

The occasional spanking, once in a while the belt. But we dreaded the WOODEN SPOON.

[rah]

A little corporal punishment is not a problem. As long as physical harm is not involved. (a red butt doesn't qualify)
Opinions do seem to follow generational lines here.

Groundings and other things sound great, but a certain amount of reason is required for them to be effective. Young children are not reasonable by definition. There are times when they won't be and no attempt on your part is going to change that. A spanking will get their attention. I always tried the reasonable approach first, but sometimes more was required. My wife was totally against my use of spanking as a punishment at first. She eventually changed her mind. Having said all this, I think I only had to lower myself to spanking a couple of times where my daughter was concerned. If she had been a boy, I probably would have done it a few more times.

I'll give more weight to opinions of posters here that have children. Those that have faced the situation where reason isn't effective.

[aaglo]

Originally posted by Gangerolf
There are better sanctions, like grounding or taking away privileges. Or encouraging. "Behave for a month and we'll take you to the zoo". stuff like that

There's more accurate term for this: bribes

OTOH, "Misbehave for a month and we'll take you to the zoo" could work as a threat

[Shogun Gunner]

I have two little girls, yes, sometimes you have to spank their cute little butts.... I hate doing it, and I never spank them *very* hard, but when they get out of control and won't listen to me when I give them a time out...there is very little opportunity to do anything else.

[Kaak]

I think belt is far more brutal than slap.

The idea here is that using an object distances the one doing the punishment from the one being punished in the mind of a punishee. That's why they say if you must spank your dogs, use a newspaper, or something similar. This way, they don't see your hand as an object that inflicts pain, but rather on object of love. And from what I can remember, this is true. I was always afraid of the belt, not my dad's hand.

Physical violence against your children is less acceptable than adult-adult assault. The reason being they cannot fight back.

a couple definitions of violence from dictionary.com:
1) Physical force exerted for the purpose of violating, damaging, or abusing
2) Abusive or unjust exercise of power.

I don't think punishing your kids by spanking qualifies. Maybe hitting them with a fist, or in the face, but clearly not spanking their bottoms. also, you aren't supposed to fight back when you are being punished, that just isn't the way it works

and finally, rah is right. I can't remember the exact age where kids develop the ability to reason, but i was surprised to find out it is as late as it is.

[Kaak]

Or encouraging. "Behave for a month and we'll take you to the zoo". stuff like that

what does this do? make kids think they should be rewarded for doing what they are supposed to do? that just doesn't seem right at all...

[rah]

I agree, Bribes prior for good behaviour is not setting the right example. I'm willing to make some exceptions if they're rewards for accomplishments. But even then, you must be careful.