it's the revival of the corrupt wish game (II)

[Urban Ranger]

Originally posted by Shogun Gunner
I wish I was always where I needed to be, having everything I need, doing what I want to do.

Granted. Now you are a stone statue. You don't need to be anywhere, you don't need anything, and there's nothing you want to do.

I wish I had super speed.

[Bosh]

The especially potent dose of amphetamine keeps you awake for a week before it burns your brain out.

I wish I lived in Seoul.

[Mr. Harley]

You move there, into a plush penthouse where your beautiful corporate executive/mistress lives. Bush decides North Korea is a threat, stages a preemptive strike, and you personally discover that North Korea does have nucular (how Bush says it) weapons.

I wish popcorn didn't stick between my teeth (and I had all my teeth).

[Q Classic]

congratulations. it doesn't. however, it's too hard for you to chew, so you can no longer eat it.

i wish someone would wipe that silly grin off your damn face.

[Mr. Harley]

They do - resulting in my post becoming longer, more pedantic, and generally slowing Apolyton to a crawl. Crazed Apolytes visit you in Chicago and make you watch Gigli for hundreds of yours. You are committed to an insane asylum as a result.

I wish that somebody with a new ultra-virulent mutation of SARS visits the state of the union address in January, which all the Democratic presidential candidates also attend. This results in breaking the US government free of party politics, lobbyists, and entrenched, stupid politicians.

[Q Classic]

the silly grin wasn't on my face...

[Mr. Harley]

Exactly.

[Shogun Gunner]

SARS arrives and kills all democrats and republican politicians, lobbyists and party members. Leaving the fields wide open for the Green Party and the Libeterians to battle for the presidency. We find ourselves in exactly the same mess we were in before.

I wish for peace of earth.

[duke o' york]

You get your piece of earth, but unfortunately it's prime real estate in beautiful Floriddy! Bit damp, and a danger of alligators, but otherwise a charming spot.

I wish my expense account stretched to things I actually want to buy, not just things I have to...

[monolith94]

"I wish my expense account stretched to things I actually want to buy, not just things I have to... "

Granted. However, a day after your account is given such power, you are fired.

I wish that no one comes in and bothers me at work today.

[ICBM]

Granted. No one comes in and bothers you at work today. In fact, no one is at work today, because no one had to be at work today, but no one told you that no one had to be at work today.

I wish I didn't waste so much time on Apolyton.

[Shogun Gunner]

Ming bans you.

I wish that I got a B, not a C, in my 11th grade pre-calculus class.

[Theben]

Congrats. You got a B in your 11th grade class, but it was only on a homework assignment worth 1% of your total grade.

I wish furries and otatukin (sp?) were the norm in society.

[Whoha]

Granted, however the something awful people get hold of hydrogen weapons, and so much for most life on the planet.

I wish that I held possession of a battery of Pershing II mrbm's with nuclear warheads.

[Theben]

Bada-boom, bada-bing! Ju gozt a battery of a Pershing missile. Unfortunately it won't fit into any of your electronic devices.

I wish that Saddam and Bush would do a remake of "We are the World".