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  • #91
    Originally posted by Dom Pedro II
    And on the other hand, is it really the best thing to be keeping a pulse for the sake of those who love you? That's what I've been doing for the past four or five years...

    I mean, I'm really trying to generate some genuine desire to live, but it's not easy...
    Look at it this way - if you've got nothing tying you down, no particular thing to live for, no particular restraints or obligations that would prevent you from taking your own life, then you're much more free than most to go in any particular direction in your life - and if one doesn't work out, you can do a U-turn and go in any other direction, with far less to lose than most folks.

    When the alternative is being worm**** in the ground, or having your ashes fertilize a little bit of soil, you really don't have much to live down to - so you have the freedom to experiment, be creative, have fun, because hey, any result at all is a step up from the alternative.
    When all else fails, blame brown people. | Hire a teen, while they still know it all. | Trump-Palin 2016. "You're fired." "I quit."

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    • #92
      Why is that you think your problems are so bad that they might never be fixed?
      "I'm moving to the Left" - Lancer

      "I imagine the neighbors on your right are estatic." - Slowwhand

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      • #93
        good point MTG

        He has freedom that many men can only dream of.

        many men are married and have children. Even though they hate their wives they feel an obligation to stay. They would probably kill to be in your situation.

        To be young, with your whole life ahead of you with no obligations...

        You get the picture.

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        • #94
          my religion says it's a mortal sin.

          my gf has made me swear that i'd never try it again.

          that said, as bad and unfortunate as it would be, i have no issue with anyone who thinks it is in his/her best interest to do so, so long as they don't leave a mess.
          B♭3

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          • #95
            going from my experience, sometimes those who contemplate suicide believe that it's not only in their best interest, but it's in the best interest of everyone else. it's not so much about defeatism, but about disappearing, vanishing, and leaving with at least some sense of honor.

            now, whether that honor and noble self-sacrifice is warranted, or actually not twisted, that's a matter to be solved with the person and the issues involved.

            when you're stuck in that rather dark corner, anything anybody says about how suicide is heinous? doesn't help. it's easy to say it in an academic situation, grousing about how those that die leave nothing but a mess behind... but that's not how it seems on the other end.
            B♭3

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            • #96
              now that i'm on the other end.

              don't even try it. don't. because if you succeed, well, you're dead. and if you fail, for the first several days afterwards, you're going to feel so ****ing ****ty because not only did you fail miserably in one thing which you thought nobody could **** up, but because now you have to deal with the realization that something just might be wrong with you.

              if life sucks for you, try and get rid of a sense of self. destroy it, and live only for others. ignore yourself, stop focusing on it, and turn selfless.

              what i'm saying might not help at all, actually.
              B♭3

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              • #97
                i wouldnt mind killing myself if i was terminally ill, or if i was being tortured horribly, or if i was lost in space and was going to starve to death or suffocate. Other wise i couldnt ever imagine me killing me.

                I dont like talking about this tho. its very depressing. i seem to get down much easier these days, anyone else like that?

                I mean, when i was a boy, i rarely got very emotional of things, but now i get emotional over little things. Is this like a hormonal change or somethn? im confused and sadened by this
                "I bet Ikarus eats his own spunk..."
                - BLACKENED from America's Army: Operations
                Kramerman - Creator and Author of The Epic Tale of Navalon in the Civ III Stories Forum

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                • #98
                  Originally posted by Verres

                  Deciding that life has no actual purpose or meaning, so your duty is simply to make the best of it and enjoy it to whatever extent possible. In my experience (as limited and sheltered as it may be) constantly striving to find a purpose leads to misery, as you realise how insignificant you truly are, that you cannot change the world, and that the only life you have true control over is your own.
                  And yet even this tiny amount of control is a vast amount of power. You will change the world by what you do, even if it is only killing yourself. Sprayber has the right of it. What seems tiny to someone who has the entire history of the world in his hands (at least while playing Civ) is in fact huge. I've saved several people's lives, and influenced countless more (hopefully) for the better. I've also made mistakes that were costly to say the least. On the whole I hope my existence here has been a positive for most others who share this place with me, and I tend to think it is. But I'm never going to be someone who is lionized in history as an important person. That's really ok with me, because that sort of fame rarely comes legitimately to people while they are still alive, and I'm not sure I would like it if it did. What matters to me is that I think I've done my best for those who I care about, including myself. That last one is the hardest bit.

                  Moral duties aside, it is also nice to have a bit of fun as well.
                  He's got the Midas touch.
                  But he touched it too much!
                  Hey Goldmember, Hey Goldmember!

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                  • #99
                    Originally posted by Dissident
                    I'm not the type of person who can cheer others.

                    But you should take solace that your life isn't as bad as mine.

                    Sometimes I wish I never had any girlfriends. All they really did was get my hopes up. I feel like I was happier before I ever had my first girfriend. I never obsessed about women until after I had my first girlfriend. Getting a taste of it just made me want it more and more. Now it's all I can think about.

                    But in the meantime I discovered some things about myself. I know my lack of social graces will prevent me from actually "succeeding" in a relationship and actually getting married. I could take Paxil, or some other such drug, but I doubt that will help. I think I was meant to be a hermit. But I really don't want to be a hermit, I want to be a normal person. And I don't want a drug that prevents me from having sex. Sex is really all I care about anyways. What point is it getting married if I can't have sex?

                    It's not easy going through life knowing you will never get married and have children.

                    I really have nothing to look forward to in life except making money. Yet I'm really not that depressed- though I still do have bouts of short term depression- usually doesn't last over 1 day.
                    I think you'll find eventually that sex isn't the most interesting thing a woman can do for you. I have sex every day (with myself if I don't have any help), but I'd walk a mile for an emotionally fulfilling relationship.
                    He's got the Midas touch.
                    But he touched it too much!
                    Hey Goldmember, Hey Goldmember!

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by Dissident
                      How do you guys feel about slow suicide?

                      My father essentually drank himself to death- slowly.

                      Can that be considered suicide?
                      Yes, and your Dad is a jerk for making you watch it. If you want to work through your problems here is a good place to start.
                      He's got the Midas touch.
                      But he touched it too much!
                      Hey Goldmember, Hey Goldmember!

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                      • Dom Pedro your story saddens me because it hits very close to home.

                        I had a very similar sitiuation where i was very vulnerable, and when i was hurt by this girl, it was devestating. suicide definately flashed across the mind. Mind you a lot had happened, it wasnt just the girl and other things, but some major things came to passed that were devestating. luckily nothing so serious came about as in your case, but it was definately the lowest point of my life.

                        I am fairly successful with a loving family (immediate AND extended too ) and have had a relatively good life. When i think about this so logically, i cant imagine why i would ever want to suicide. i mean, if i cant go thru life, then how the hell are those starving sharecroppers in africa or slaves from all over and throughout time making it. If they can live what seems a miserable existance, then i should be able to live a seemingly better one, right?

                        I figure as long as there are people who exist that love me, i will never commit suicide (except with my above exceptions), and even if there wernet, id have to take a long hard look at my life before making such an ultimate decision
                        "I bet Ikarus eats his own spunk..."
                        - BLACKENED from America's Army: Operations
                        Kramerman - Creator and Author of The Epic Tale of Navalon in the Civ III Stories Forum

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                        • Through this thread, Kramerman has echoed my views almost perfectly, only I am even more determined to never do this. All that prince of Denmark bull**** of committing suicide as the daring and brave choice is just that, bull****.

                          I would also like to agree with some of the posters' views of experimenting with your life as an alternative to suicide. If you think that your life is going nowhere, it's a much more sensible change of direction than suicide.


                          Kramerman, you're becoming one of my favourite posters around here.
                          urgh.NSFW

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                          • edited
                            "I bet Ikarus eats his own spunk..."
                            - BLACKENED from America's Army: Operations
                            Kramerman - Creator and Author of The Epic Tale of Navalon in the Civ III Stories Forum

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                            • Anyway, any heartache couldn't be worth a suicide, to me.

                              Now I was driving to the uni yesterday, as you know Sunday is the beginning of the week here, so many soldiers are returning to their bases from their weekend vacations. As I drive on one of the main roads, I see the girl that I loved badly in highschool ( long story ). The speed of the car dropped, as my head followed her, as I drove past the bus station. She didn't notice me. I was just another car on the main road...My heart ached, very badly so. I went through a wirlwind of emotions, almost burst into tears but then, I took things from the hands of emotions, shaped up, and kept driving to school.
                              urgh.NSFW

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                              • when I read this thread I got so depressed I jumped out.....
                                Any views I may express here are personal and certainly do not in any way reflect the views of my employer. Tis the rising of the moon..

                                Look, I just don't anymore, okay?

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