The Corrupt wish game

[Mercator]

Granted. You can indeed foresee the questions, but unfortunately this new brain function goes at the cost of another and you are unable to give the right answer to any of them.

I wish none of the corruptly granted wishes in this thread would involve death.

[Q Classic]

tada! rather than involving death, they now all involve your bizarre torture at the hands of a hundred smiling midgets.

i wish that i could actually cook edible and delicious food on a regular basis.

[Japher]

walla, you become enslaved by a hundred smiling midgets that demand you cook for them!

I wish this thread would just end!

[Mercator]

It will, it will... (but not until the "Corrupt wish game II" thread has started)

I wish I would instantly and legitimately graduate summa cum laude, right now.

[Q Classic]

congratulations on your degree! unfortunately, the semester before you graduate, the school's accreditation was revoked on account of the curriculum not being rigorous enough.

i wish calvin and hobbes were back again in the funny papers.

[st_swithin]

Shazam! Calvin and Hobbes were ground up in a tragic wood-pulping accident and are now being distributed on Sunday along with circulars for K-Mart and Albertson's.

I wish I could be exiled to the a55-end of the universe and get away from this place.

[Japher]

Bigidy-Bam, you find yourself in Fresno

I wish some one would invent teleporters.

[Sandman]

Granted! Someone invents teleporters, but decides not to tell anyone.

I wish I had Matrix-style powers.

[mrmitchell]

Granted! You now have the ability to abuse slow-motion scenes and multiple camera view effects that were once used to emphasize legitimate martial arts moves, but now let dorks with glasses look "cool".

I wish I had dreams (not nightmares) every night. It'd make sleep something to look forward to, at least.

[Kuciwalker]

Granted. You never wake up and constantly dream forever.

I wish I had the power to crush the throats of the insolent with the force (Darth Vader style).

[Bosh]

Granted, this power manifests yourself whenever you're annoyed with someone resulting in you killing the next person who cuts you off in traffic which results in you dying in the subsequent car accident.

I wish my washing machine didn't leave my clothes so wrinkled.

[Shi Huangdi]

Originally posted by Boshko
Granted, this power manifests yourself whenever you're annoyed with someone resulting in you killing the next person who cuts you off in traffic which results in you dying in the subsequent car accident.

I wish my washing machine didn't leave my clothes so wrinkled.

So shall it be. Your washing machine no longer leaves your clothes wrinkled, instead it leaves them shreaded to pieces. You have now lost your clothes and must walk around naked.

I wish for infinite money.

[Q Classic]

sha-zaam!
you now have an infinite supply of monopoly money, but that's not the bad news. the bad news is that it's from monopoly jr.





i wish that i could create any computer i wanted just by imagining them into existence.

[Nubclear]

Granted! However, you think about compuetrs so much eventually the world is filled with computers, and everyone dies

I wish that that I had some pickles in my fridge so I could put them on my hamburger.

[Space05us]

I wish that that I had some pickles in my fridge so I could put them on my hamburger

granted. little did you know that your pickles are made from zuchinni not cucumber!!


I wish I was Adolf Hitler and I had never killed myself (no not really)