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**Urban Ranger** · November 16, 2003, 05:25

Granted, but you need to make it up by eating 4 times as much

I wish I can pound out bug-free code at 500 lines per hour, complete with comments.

**Thucydides** · November 16, 2003, 05:56

Originally posted by Urban Ranger
Granted, but you need to make it up by eating 4 times as much

I wish I can pound out bug-free code at 500 lines per hour, complete with comments.

Granted, pounding computers now produces 500 lines of bug free code per hour, but the force required to pound the computer destroys whatever machine your working on in no time at all. You now go through more computers then you do lines of code.

I wish I could be Honorably Discharged from the Army Tomorrow and go back to College with my 40K of GI Money.

**Mr. Harley** · November 16, 2003, 05:59

edit : crosspost - I like the anwer before mine better

reposted - post after mine makes no sense without this, I'm too slow.

Granted (two posts ago) you have the urge to crawl around on your legs, all six of them, and hide from the light.

I wish I could really enter virtual reality.

**DRoseDARs** · November 16, 2003, 06:21

Granted, but the only way out is taking the blue pill...

I've had this damn cough for over a week now and I really wish this sh!t would stop. I hate having a croaky voice.

**Mr. Harley** · November 16, 2003, 06:24

Off-topic: had it to, rub some vics vapor rub under your nose and sleep with it - it's gross, but it helps loosen all the crap in your lungs. Good birth control too - nobody's kissing you with that crap under your nose.

**DRoseDARs** · November 16, 2003, 06:30

still off-topic: That's just it, there isn't anything in my lungs. I cleared it all out earlier in the week (got sick last sat. night through till tues-weds yet the cough persists). I had a "thing" just below my voice box (larynx?) that, although didn't hurt, caused irritation inside my windpipe. Knocked that sucker out yesterday, but cough STILL persists. I'm going to see a doctor if this keeps up past Monday.

on-topic: NOW VIOLATE...erm...GRANT MY WISH!!!

**Nubclear** · November 16, 2003, 06:36

Your wish is granted.
Instead of releasing wastes, your body keeps them all inside you. You eventually die because your sick anyway. Sorry

I wish I could simply get to sleep at night

**Bosh** · November 16, 2003, 06:40

You get to sleep every night because you are violently beaten by hordes of nut-wielding squirrels until you pass out.

I wish for the greater glory of squirrels everywhere.

**DRoseDARs** · November 16, 2003, 06:43

*hack, hack* *grumble*

Which they are granted, right before they are exterminated like the disease-ridden vermin they are.

I wish I were invincible.

*hack*

**Nubclear** · November 16, 2003, 06:53

The universe ends and you are in eternal suffering.

I wish I was the richest man in the world.

**DRoseDARs** · November 16, 2003, 06:55

You end up the kindest, most compassionate Human in our history (wealth of karma and spiritual fullness)...but that doesn't pay the bills or put food on the table. You die a pauper on the streets.

I wish I had an additional pair of usable arms.

**Nubclear** · November 16, 2003, 06:59

Wish granted

Unfortunately, your body seems to be rejecting them. How sad

I wish I ruled America.

**DRoseDARs** · November 16, 2003, 07:02

Sure you can...after you remove the reigning king.

I wish my paycheck was smaller.

Yes.

Smaller...

**DaShi** · November 16, 2003, 07:13

Granted, however no bank will accept these obviously fraudulent undersized checks.

I wish I could detonate a nuclear bomb at the center of the Earth.

**DRoseDARs** · November 16, 2003, 07:24

Granted, but turns out to be a dud.

I wish everyday was Act Like A Pirate day.

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