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You might be a redneck Jedi, if....

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  • You might be a redneck Jedi, if....

    You hear . . . "Luke, I am your father... and your uncle..."

    You ever said the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."

    Your Jedi robe is camouflage.

    You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.

    At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.

    You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.

    You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.

    The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.

    Wookiees are offended by your B.O.

    You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.

    You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling.

    You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light up.

    You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.

    You ever fantasized about Princess Leia wearing Daisy Duke shorts.

    You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.

    Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.

    You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.

    You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood deck.

    You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.

    Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot
    Today, you are the waves of the Pacific, pushing ever eastward. You are the sequoias rising from the Sierra Nevada, defiant and enduring.

  • #2
    You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.


    I had already thought of this one before I opened the thread...
    KH FOR OWNER!
    ASHER FOR CEO!!
    GUYNEMER FOR OT MOD!!!

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    • #3
      Re: You might be a redneck Jedi, if....

      Originally posted by Lonestar

      You ever fantasized about Princess Leia wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
      Hell, who hasn't?
      Today, you are the waves of the Pacific, pushing ever eastward. You are the sequoias rising from the Sierra Nevada, defiant and enduring.

      Comment


      • #4


        This is too funny to have died so quickly !
        There's nothing wrong with the dream, my friend, the problem lies with the dreamer.

        Comment


        • #5


          Thanks for the bump.

          You ever fantasized about Princess Leia wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
          Scouse Git (2) La Fayette Adam Smith Solomwi and Loinburger will not be forgotten.
          "Remember the night we broke the windows in this old house? This is what I wished for..."
          2015 APOLYTON FANTASY FOOTBALL CHAMPION!

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          • #6
            You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.
            guilty.
            I wasn't born with enough middle fingers.
            [Brandon Roderick? You mean Brock's Toadie?][Hanged from Yggdrasil]

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            • #7


              a very deserved BUMP.
              urgh.NSFW

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              • #8
                if you don't tell Leia she's your sister.
                Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...

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                • #9
                  urgh.NSFW

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I don't get this at all.
                    How are these things so worthy of attention?
                    It's not like we don't all do them all.




                    Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
                    "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
                    He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by chegitz guevara
                      if you don't tell Leia she's your sister.
                      You tell Leia its OK because she's your sister.
                      “It is no use trying to 'see through' first principles. If you see through everything, then everything is transparent. But a wholly transparent world is an invisible world. To 'see through' all things is the same as not to see.”

                      ― C.S. Lewis, The Abolition of Man

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                      • #12
                        Someone should make a redneck Star Wars spoof. It could out sell Space Balls.
                        "I say shoot'em all and let God sort it out in the end!

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                        • #13
                          Your lightsaber is held together with duct tape.

                          Your mullet is the envy of the Jedi Council.

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                          • #14
                            You use your Jedi mind tricks to sneak past the doormen at the titty bar.

                            You've got a specially-adapted landspeeder with turbo charger, but it doesn't make any difference because you've still got to tow your trailer around behind it.

                            Your companion is a wookie called Chewbubba.

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                            • #15
                              I thought all the jedi were rednecks.
                              Gaius Mucius Scaevola Sinistra
                              Japher: "crap, did I just post in this thread?"
                              "Bloody hell, Lefty.....number one in my list of persons I have no intention of annoying, ever." Bugs ****ing Bunny
                              From a 6th grader who readily adpated to internet culture: "Pay attention now, because your opinions suck"

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