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  • How Gay are You? Starchild Version

    For all those questioning, wondering, and groping their sexuality, I've decided to come up with a quick and easy test that will help you determine how gay you are by comparing you to the gayest thing on Apolyton.

    Me.

    Since I score a fabulous 10/10 on the homo-scale, I'll state a series of things that I do. The more of those things that you do, the higher on the gay scale you are. Anyone answering half or more is gay and can call me (email photo and sexual interests first).

    1) I lipsync to disco classics in front of the mirror. At least once a day.

    2) I know all the words to most Little Mermaid songs and a fair proportion of other Disney classics.

    3) I spend hours searching music stores for discount ABBA CD's.

    4) I know what a Diva is, I use the word correctly in context, and I buy their CD's without hesitation.

    5) I got my blonde highlights dyed purple and pink. And I managed to make that match with my clothing.

    6) I moisturise my skin.

    7) I go to Gay Pride Parades. Wearing a t-shirt that says "Slut" on it. In front of TV cameras.

    8) I gesture with my hands while my conversations are full of semi-obscure pop-culture references while stressing random bits. I'm so all Sarah Michelle Gellar in the way I speak.

    9) I have sex with men. In hindsight, this one should be moved higher up on the list.

    10) I can be given jeans, a hawaiian shirt, and a big wooly sweater and still look fabulous.

    11) I use the word fabulous.

    12) Did I mention that sleeping with men thing?

    13) I do brunch. I drink expensive coffees just so people can see my drink them. I read political magazines like Advocate and Gay Times mainly to look at the pictures of half naked men.

    14) I have, at various times, worn lipstick, eye liner, and body glitter.

    15) I use sarcasm and *****iness to hide a delicate inner soul damaged by years of isolation and anxiety.

    16) Speaking of *****iness, did you see what Sarah Jessica Parker wore the last time she was in public? Her clothing advisor so deserves an...um....argh *reaches for culture reference*

    17) Speaking of hiding things, a developing drugs and alcohol problem is so easily solved by another martini.

    18) The Conservative Party hates me. Says so in their Manifesto, right next to the bit where they promise to assault old ladies and drink the blood of newborns on moonlit eves.

    19) I'm out of ideas but if you agree with the one below, you must be gay.

    20) Are you sure I didn't mention I **** men?
    Exult in your existence, because that very process has blundered unwittingly on its own negation. Only a small, local negation, to be sure: only one species, and only a minority of that species; but there lies hope. [...] Stand tall, Bipedal Ape. The shark may outswim you, the cheetah outrun you, the swift outfly you, the capuchin outclimb you, the elephant outpower you, the redwood outlast you. But you have the biggest gifts of all: the gift of understanding the ruthlessly cruel process that gave us all existence [and the] gift of revulsion against its implications.
    -Richard Dawkins

  • #2
    You're oozing with mantrons. I can't risk staying around this thread any longer before they start to get on to me.
    meet the new boss, same as the old boss

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: How Gay are You? Starchild Version

      Originally posted by Starchild
      1) I lipsync to disco classics in front of the mirror. At least once a day.
      No.

      2) I know all the words to most Little Mermaid songs and a fair proportion of other Disney classics.
      No.

      3) I spend hours searching music stores for discount ABBA CD's.
      No.

      4) I know what a Diva is, I use the word correctly in context, and I buy their CD's without hesitation.
      No.

      5) I got my blonde highlights dyed purple and pink. And I managed to make that match with my clothing.
      No.

      6) I moisturise my skin.
      Yes. But that's just good practice.

      7) I go to Gay Pride Parades. Wearing a t-shirt that says "Slut" on it. In front of TV cameras.
      No.

      8) I gesture with my hands while my conversations are full of semi-obscure pop-culture references while stressing random bits. I'm so all Sarah Michelle Gellar in the way I speak.
      No.

      9) I have sex with men. In hindsight, this one should be moved higher up on the list.
      Yes.

      10) I can be given jeans, a hawaiian shirt, and a big wooly sweater and still look fabulous.
      Yes.

      11) I use the word fabulous.
      No.

      12) Did I mention that sleeping with men thing?
      Yes.

      13) I do brunch. I drink expensive coffees just so people can see my drink them. I read political magazines like Advocate and Gay Times mainly to look at the pictures of half naked men.
      No.

      14) I have, at various times, worn lipstick, eye liner, and body glitter.
      No.

      15) I use sarcasm and *****iness to hide a delicate inner soul damaged by years of isolation and anxiety.
      Yes.

      16) Speaking of *****iness, did you see what Sarah Jessica Parker wore the last time she was in public? Her clothing advisor so deserves an...um....argh *reaches for culture reference*
      No.

      17) Speaking of hiding things, a developing drugs and alcohol problem is so easily solved by another martini.
      No.

      18) The Conservative Party hates me. Says so in their Manifesto, right next to the bit where they promise to assault old ladies and drink the blood of newborns on moonlit eves.
      The conservative party here is backed by most gay leaders, so no.

      19) I'm out of ideas but if you agree with the one below, you must be gay.
      Yes.

      20) Are you sure I didn't mention I **** men?
      Yes.
      "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
      Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

      Comment


      • #4
        hmm i scored a massive 0/20.
        Hold my girlfriend while I kiss your skis.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: How Gay are You? Starchild Version

          Originally posted by Starchild

          Since I score a fabulous 10/10 on the homo-scale, I'll state a series of things that I do.
          Is that a shot at me?
          "I predict your ignore will rival Ben's" - Ecofarm
          ^ The Poly equivalent of:
          "I hope you can see this 'cause I'm [flipping you off] as hard as I can" - Ignignokt the Mooninite

          Comment


          • #6
            20) Are you sure I didn't mention I **** men?
            I'm pretty sure you failed to mention that.
            I make no bones about my moral support for [terrorist] organizations. - chegitz guevara
            For those who aspire to live in a high cost, high tax, big government place, our nation and the world offers plenty of options. Vermont, Canada and Venezuela all offer you the opportunity to live in the socialist, big government paradise you long for. –Senator Rubio

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Re: How Gay are You? Starchild Version

              Originally posted by The Emperor Fabulous


              Is that a shot at me?
              Probably not, but I'm fairly sure that 11) is.
              No, I did not steal that from somebody on Something Awful.

              Comment


              • #8
                Somehow I think from this, Starchild is the only gay person.
                "I'm moving to the Left" - Lancer

                "I imagine the neighbors on your right are estatic." - Slowwhand

                Comment


                • #9
                  I can't believe you left out the fact that your username is "Starchild". That alone should close any discussion

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    1Vl I AM NOT A LESBIAN!!!! lV1

                    Oh wait, that's not what this is about, is it?
                    -30-

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: How Gay are You? Starchild Version

                      Originally posted by Starchild
                      1) I lipsync to disco classics in front of the mirror. At least once a day.
                      No.

                      2) I know all the words to most Little Mermaid songs and a fair proportion of other Disney classics.
                      No

                      3) I spend hours searching music stores for discount ABBA CD's.
                      Who? No.

                      4) I know what a Diva is, I use the word correctly in context, and I buy their CD's without hesitation.
                      No.

                      5) I got my blonde highlights dyed purple and pink. And I managed to make that match with my clothing.
                      No.

                      I Moisturise my skin.
                      This is unfair as I have eczema.

                      7) I go to Gay Pride Parades. Wearing a t-shirt that says "Slut" on it. In front of TV cameras.
                      No.

                      8) I gesture with my hands while my conversations are full of semi-obscure pop-culture references while stressing random bits. I'm so all Sarah Michelle Gellar in the way I speak.
                      Who? No.

                      9) I have sex with men. In hindsight, this one should be moved higher up on the list.
                      No.

                      10) I can be given jeans, a hawaiian shirt, and a big wooly sweater and still look fabulous.
                      No.

                      [QUOTE[ 11) I use the word fabulous. [/QUOTE]

                      No.

                      12) Did I mention that sleeping with men thing?
                      Trying to trick me into saying yes?!

                      13) I do brunch. I drink expensive coffees just so people can see my drink them. I read political magazines like Advocate and Gay Times mainly to look at the pictures of half naked men.
                      No.

                      14) I have, at various times, worn lipstick, eye liner, and body glitter.
                      No.

                      5) I use sarcasm and *****iness to hide a delicate inner soul damaged by years of isolation and anxiety.
                      No.

                      16) Speaking of *****iness, did you see what Sarah Jessica Parker wore the last time she was in public? Her clothing advisor so deserves an...um....argh *reaches for culture reference*
                      Who? No.

                      17) Speaking of hiding things, a developing drugs and alcohol problem is so easily solved by another martini.
                      No.

                      18) The Conservative Party hates me. Says so in their Manifesto, right next to the bit where they promise to assault old ladies and drink the blood of newborns on moonlit eves.
                      I'm a communist.

                      19) I'm out of ideas but if you agree with the one below, you must be gay.
                      Unable to respond.

                      20) Are you sure I didn't mention I **** men?
                      AAARRRGGGHHH ANOTHER TRICK QUESTION
                      Eventis is the only refuge of the spammer. Join us now.
                      Long live teh paranoia smiley!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Just out of curiosity... Doesn't it hurt to get ****ed in the ass? My ex-girlfriend said so and asked me not to do it again after our first time.
                        Try http://wordforge.net/index.php for discussion and debate.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          quote:
                          Originally posted by Starchild
                          1) I lipsync to disco classics in front of the mirror. At least once a day.

                          Nay.

                          quote:
                          2) I know all the words to most Little Mermaid songs and a fair proportion of other Disney classics.

                          Nay.

                          quote:
                          3) I spend hours searching music stores for discount ABBA CD's.

                          Nay.

                          quote:
                          4) I know what a Diva is, I use the word correctly in context, and I buy their CD's without hesitation.

                          Nay.

                          quote:
                          5) I got my blonde highlights dyed purple and pink. And I managed to make that match with my clothing.

                          Nay.

                          quote:
                          6) I moisturise my skin.

                          Some of it - aye.

                          quote:
                          7) I go to Gay Pride Parades. Wearing a t-shirt that says "Slut" on it. In front of TV cameras.

                          Nay. Mine says "Pvssy"

                          quote:
                          8) I gesture with my hands while my conversations are full of semi-obscure pop-culture references while stressing random bits. I'm so all Sarah Michelle Gellar in the way I speak.

                          Nay.

                          quote:
                          9) I have sex with men. In hindsight, this one should be moved higher up on the list.

                          aye.

                          quote:
                          10) I can be given jeans, a hawaiian shirt, and a big wooly sweater and still look fabulous.

                          Aye.

                          quote:
                          11) I use the word fabulous.

                          Nay.

                          quote:
                          12) Did I mention that sleeping with men thing?

                          Aye, two at a time, sometimes 3.

                          quote:
                          13) I do brunch. I drink expensive coffees just so people can see my drink them. I read political magazines like Advocate and Gay Times mainly to look at the pictures of half naked men.

                          NAY. I've already seen Fight Club.

                          quote:
                          14) I have, at various times, worn lipstick, eye liner, and body glitter.

                          aye, but it's usually on accident.

                          quote:
                          15) I use sarcasm and *****iness to hide a delicate inner soul damaged by years of isolation and anxiety.

                          AYE.

                          quote:
                          16) Speaking of *****iness, did you see what Sarah Jessica Parker wore the last time she was in public? Her clothing advisor so deserves an...um....argh *reaches for culture reference*

                          Aye, and aye. She needs a new stylist in a BAD way. So do Britney Speers and Christina Gaguilera.

                          quote:
                          17) Speaking of hiding things, a developing drugs and alcohol problem is so easily solved by another martini.

                          NAY.

                          quote:
                          18) The Conservative Party hates me. Says so in their Manifesto, right next to the bit where they promise to assault old ladies and drink the blood of newborns on moonlit eves.

                          Aye.

                          quote:
                          19) I'm out of ideas but if you agree with the one below, you must be gay.

                          Aye.

                          quote:
                          20) Are you sure I didn't mention I **** men?

                          Nay.
                          -30-

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: How Gay are You? Starchild Version

                            1) No

                            2) I know the words to some of the Mulan and Lion King soundtracks, but that's it

                            3) No, but then again I'm not my mother

                            4) Not on your life

                            5) I like having brown hair, but tend to shy away from brown clothes

                            6) My skin gets wet in the shower every morning, but I suspect that you're refering to something else

                            7) I'm not photogenic enough to appear on TV

                            8) I use hand gestures a lot, but I think that's the continental blood in me rather than anything else

                            9) No. I don't have sex with women either, but this is hardly a lifestyle choice, whereas the man thing is

                            10) I look crap in pretty much anything other than a suit. Which is worrying.

                            11) No.

                            12) Maybe you did. I don't remember.

                            13) I drink Belgian beer because I happen to like the taste.

                            14) I have, but not not willingly.

                            15) I use sarcasm, but the comparison ends there.

                            16) I try not to look at Sarah Jessica Parker if I can avoid it.

                            17) Quite true.

                            18) They hate me too, but only because I won't vote fro them.

                            19) We shall see.

                            20) Come to think of it, you did mention it in passing.
                            "Paul Hanson, you should give Gibraltar back to the Spanish" - Paiktis, dramatically over-estimating my influence in diplomatic circles.

                            Eyewerks - you know you want to visit. No really, you do. Go on, click me.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I got two - the moisturiser and the makeup one.
                              For the makeup, it was part of being goth.
                              I'm building a wagon! On some other part of the internets, obviously (but not that other site).

                              Comment

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