Pick your REAL mate's personality.

[Urban Ranger]

How would coy be the opposite of tender? I don't like aggressive/submissive either, I rather have assertive.

And you missed a whole bunch, such as introverted/extroverted, easily angered/levelheaded, rational/emotional, skeptical/gullible, etc.

[Ben Kenobi]

I skipped the "firm or flexible" question because I wasn't sure what you meant by it

Firm means that they are unlikely to change positions, and flexible means they are more likely to accomodate their partner's position.

Does that help?

UR:

Partygoer/homebody = extroverted/introverted.

easily angered / levelheaded = bubbly / calm

rational / emotional = again, bubbly / calm

skeptical / gullible = experienced / innocent.

These are actually hard to come up with, positives for both sides.

How would coy be the opposite of tender?

Coy means you ain't gettin' any lovin'.