Why can't I be as nice as I want to be?

[Thorn]

Are you on anti-psychotic medication right now?

Yes tons... so much so that they've had to lower it or I won't be able to get out of bed... and continue with my life...

[Nubclear]

Originally posted by Thorn


Yes tons... so much so that they've had to lower it or I won't be able to get out of bed... and continue with my life...

Hmm....Then it could be an actual demon.

A demon cannot "posess" someone in the traditional sense, but it can influence them and haunt them. Can you speak with it in your mind?

[Thorn]

Hmm....Then it could be an actual demon.

A demon cannot "posess" someone in the traditional sense, but it can influence them and haunt them. Can you speak with it in your mind?

A friend of mine is into witchcraft and is a psychic... she said some maliganet spirits hang around me (one in particular)... and she tried to put a barrior up against it... but I don't think it is working...

[Nubclear]

Originally posted by Thorn


A friend of mine is into witchcraft and is a psychic... she said some maliganet spirits hang around me (one in particular)... and she tried to put a barrior up against it... but I don't think it is working...

Do you have MSN messenger or Yahoo messenger? I'll need to speak with your privately

[Ben Kenobi]

No I'm not... I was raised to be agnostic...

Well, I'm not an old-timer so I haven't seen the EvC persona as much as the others.

If so demon possession could be a possibility.

Demon Madrigal (I only mentioned the name in case someone here who knows demonology could look it up for me)...

What other kinds of things does Madrigal say?

[Japher]

You are very irrational, that is why you behave the way you do.

A good friend of mine (going on 15 years) is the same way. He can't even say 'thank you' at a fast food restaurant without getting the evil eye... Sad thing is, he is sincere about it, but they think they are mocking him.

His problem, and seems to be your problem, is that you are in a mindset that you are the only one in the world. While you are empathic you lack the sympathies that would allow you to be more polite. A lot of this comes from irrational, or unformed, opinions. It is something akin to confussion of the world around you, but is more centered on you, because it is yourself you are confussed about.

You need to discover yourself (not in a peverted way, though that may help), and find out what it is that you really like, dislike, etc... then address the situation over and over, until you can find a sane and rational way to have an opinion on something. I don't mean choosing a side of debate, I mean to figure out what is that makes you tick... are you a passifist, a confromter, etc... establish your morals....

[Thorn]

yahoo... I am evan_vc ... but don't think you can do something... anyone who tries to help me is either hurt or prevented from doing so...

[Ben Kenobi]

anyone who tries to help me is either hurt or prevented from doing so...

In what manner?

[Thorn]

Well I don't know much about this crap... but if it gets paniced it tends to cause me or fate to act erratically...

[rah]

Something tells me that you still haven't gotten over your mom dumping you and your dad not caring and you're looking for someone to tell you what to do, and in your anger, the what to do part involves hurting others since you can't really hurt your original parents.

RAH
but what do I know, I'm just a poly-sci major.

[Thorn]

You know without the demon thing I'd still have plenty of problems... I'm just wondering if it is the source of some of my more peculier ones....

I talked with yet another person about this now... I don't really know what to do... I talk about this stuff with my therapist and I'll be under lock and key for the rest of my life...

It is really hard for people to believe you over the internet... and I wonder how much help people can be on the internet about this. I'm sure that you can't exorcise someone online... and I'm not even sure if a real one would work....

I just get real weird vibes about going to church or letting someone exorcise me...

The best I can do is ask for someone to pray for me... I can't pray with them...

You see I'd like to know more about this demon.... but I'm afraid that would help him somehow... I'm afraid if I do anything I help him...

You've heard me sometimes.... I rant and rave for no reason then am fine the next minute...

I don't know what to believe... I don't even know what to believe in... but with the strange stuff that happens around me and to me it gets me to thinking about this...

I dunno anybody have any ideas... I'm pretty confused about this...

[Cruddy]

Originally posted by Thorn
You know without the demon thing I'd still have plenty of problems... I'm just wondering if it is the source of some of my more peculier ones....

"Madrigal" is an old style of music for dancing. Subconviously you probably realise this, so maybe it's a codeword for you impulse to have fun.

Now, people have fun different ways - but if you haven't been having fun, then it's understandable feeling screwed around.

In demonology terms, knowing a demon's name gives you power over that demon - can you honestly believe a demon would give you power over it? Oh no.

Originally posted by Thorn
I talked with yet another person about this now... I don't really know what to do... I talk about this stuff with my therapist and I'll be under lock and key for the rest of my life...

It is really hard for people to believe you over the internet... and I wonder how much help people can be on the internet about this. I'm sure that you can't exorcise someone online... and I'm not even sure if a real one would work....

The fact that you are able to communicate you have a problem tells me you don't have a true possession (very rare thankfully). You do however have dark impulses - we all do. The trick is to master them, ignore them, to put your effort and energy into something worthwhile.

Originally posted by Thorn
I just get real weird vibes about going to church or letting someone exorcise me...

The best I can do is ask for someone to pray for me... I can't pray with them...

Well, who wouldn't have a problem with this? Prayer is difficult. I went for many years without it. Now it's a daily thing for me... but don't believe you are truly lost. Just a long way from home.

Originally posted by Thorn
You see I'd like to know more about this demon.... but I'm afraid that would help him somehow... I'm afraid if I do anything I help him...

We fight evil by doing good. Find someway to help people, people you've never met. Any effort at all here should help - it won't please those dark impulses in your hard, but it will make you feel better to achieve something.

Originally posted by Thorn
You've heard me sometimes.... I rant and rave for no reason then am fine the next minute...

Blowing off steam? Maybe going to a sports event and blowing off steam in the crowd might help. Lots of ways to use excess energy.

Originally posted by Thorn
I don't know what to believe... I don't even know what to believe in... but with the strange stuff that happens around me and to me it gets me to thinking about this...

I dunno anybody have any ideas... I'm pretty confused about this...

Believe that you can make a difference to the world around you. Not a huge difference, maybe not even measureable... but if you feel totallly cut off from humanity, then yes, you will have dark thoughts.

I know I did. But I'm much better now. Believe you can get better and do things to help control your thoughts. Sometimes we think far too much when we should be doing something - even just playing cards or reading a book.

[Thorn]

I've been possesed twice (I was locked up for one of those times)... but it talks to me frequently... it is always ranting about something to do with my harnessing its power to free its master...

[Cruddy]

Maybe getting a job on a demolition crew might help.

It certainly does me a pile of good to knock the crap out of something.

Rage without release does horrible things to the personality.

After that, try a gardening job to learn some creative skills.

Hope this helps.

[Thorn]

I have allergies so I stay inside most of the time...