I suck at flirting.

[Q Classic]

i'm average at flirting, i suppose. my problem is that i tend to be too reserved unless i'm friends with them, so i don't flirt with strangers, and until recently, i didn't really flirt that much with anyone except my gf. (i did flirt with other friends that were girls, but it was understood as not being serious.)

i kinda suck at asking people out. mainly because of that same reservedness, and also that i can't tell who's interested in me or not.

[Ming]

Asking people out is easy... Heck, what's the worst they can say... NO... And then you are no worse off than before you asked them.

What's the old joke... if you want to win the lottery, you have to first buy a ticket. So ask away... even if they say no, you will be gaining more experience for the next time. You will learn what doesn't work, and can keep changing your style until you do find something that works for you.

Remember... Having somebody say no is NO WORSE than never asking.

[Lorizael]

It's funny that everybody knows what Ming is saying is true, but it won't stop any of us from being nervous with the next person we try to ask out.

[Spiffor]

Originally posted by Ming
Remember... Having somebody say no is NO WORSE than never asking.

This is not always true. If I asked out that rarely (actually only once, which makes my failure rate 0% :Pride: ), that's because nearly all the girls I was interested in were friends, or belonged to a group of friends. I didn't want a rejection to ruin the mood between us, or among the group of friends. It has to do with me not being outgoing at all, and only hanging with people who are already acquaintances.

Now that I've grown older however (as well as my targets) the impact of a rejection is becoming much smaller for all parties. If I was free, I think I'd exercize more in flirting, now that I have seen it's easy

[SlowwHand]

Why be nervous?
For once , Ming is right.
What is the worst that can happen? Rejection?
Hell. I've had worse on my eyeball.
I get rejected here, almost every day.
Ain't no thang.

[alva]

It's funny that everybody knows what Ming is saying is true, but it won't stop any of us from being nervous with the next person we try to ask out.

It's funny 'cause it's true

[Ming]

Even if they are a member of a group, you can earn points when you get rejected.

When they say no, just follow up with a snappy line like.

"Well, I just had to try, somebody as beautiful and special as you is always worth the effort" "Even hearing you say No makes it worth it"

One time, the girl blushed, then agreed to the date after saying NO

[Spiffor]

Originally posted by Ming
"Well, I just had to try, somebody as beautiful and special as you is always worth the effort" "Even hearing you say No makes it worth it"

No surprise you work in advertisement !

[Ming]

99% percent of the guys asking will be nervous... that's normal. The trick is to NOT LOOK nervous. Just smile, and have a few responses ready to deal with whatever answer they give. A smile, and a quick response is better than standing there like a "deer caught in headlights" While they may say no, one of their friends might be interested because of how you handled it.

[MikeH]

If they say no, don't immediately ask one of their friends out though. You have to give it some time to "realise you asked the wrong friend out". Otherwise it just looks like Plan A failed so you are moving to Plan B.

[ajbera]

I'm socially awkward, so having the proper frame of mind helps me considerably. You can't go in expecting the "yes" response; either anticipate the "no" (although this can also throw you off if she does say "yes"), or approach it with pleasantly cavalier attitude - you're there to enjoy yourself and make a human contact regardless of her response. Not, "I don't give a f*ck whether she says yes or no", but rather "I'll give it a shot, and if it doesn't work out, oh well, it was still fun."

Of course, I'm married now, so my (and my wife's) flirting is much more subdued these days, though we can't pass up a verbal excahnge with an attractive stranger. We consider it practice for when we get down and dirty with each other. I love my wife.

[Maniac]

Find out what they are talking about, and at the right time, enter the conversation by saying something like "I heard you talking about ________" and add your opinon on the subject. Works like a charm.

Does that really work for you?? I mean, if I were talking with some group of friends, and some utter stranger suddenly interrupted us...

[Ming]

Originally posted by MikeH
If they say no, don't immediately ask one of their friends out though. You have to give it some time to "realise you asked the wrong friend out". Otherwise it just looks like Plan A failed so you are moving to Plan B.

So True... So True...
Also... it gives you a chance to scope the friends out, and see if any seem interested in you. (you know, sidewise glances) Then when the time is right... you can take your shot on a higher probablity target.

[Eli]

I suck at flirting

Welcome to the club.

I suck at everything that is pointless. I absolutely loath small talk, and the only people I know who share my interests(the usual Poly interests... history, politics, a bit philosophy, sci fi, etc) are on the net and only a couple of them are Israelis... Fun, fun, fun.

[Ming]

Originally posted by Maniac


Does that really work for you?? I mean, if I were talking with some group of friends, and some utter stranger suddenly interrupted us...

First... you would only do that in the proper setting. Like a bar, or other hang out where people are obviously going to meet other people.

And Second... you do wait for the appropriate moment...
You just don't "barge" in... you wait for a momentary lull in the coversation.