WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may...

[Ming]

Got this via email today... I don't remember if anybody has posted this yet, but if somebody already has, I'm sure I will be hearing about it

American liquor manufacturers have accepted the
FDA's suggestion
that the following warning labels be placed
immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:


WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering
what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

*****

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you
are whispering when you are not.

*****

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in
dancing like a ******.

*****

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell
your friends over
and over again that you love them.

*****

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think
you can sing.

*****

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe
that ex-lovers are really dying for you to
telephone them at four in the morning.

*****

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you
can logically converse with other
members of the opposite sex without spitting.

*****

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
inexplicable rug burns on the forehead,
knees and lower back.

*****

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion
that you are tougher, smarter, faster
and better looking than most people.

*****

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think
people are laughing WITH you.

*****

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

*****

WARNING:
The crumsumpten of alcahol may Mack you tink you
can tipe real gode.


Special Thanks to Baron O... the member here who sent it to me.

What other warnings can you think of

[Zero]

The consumption of alcohol may cause you to lower ur standards.

[Inverse Icarus]

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/alcoholwarnings.shtml

lot of the same stuff in a flash anim, ming

[Shi Huangdi]

Awesome!

[Adalbertus]

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think
you can sing.

"Denn wer nicht singt, der soll auch nicht mittrinken"
(He who doesn't sing shall not drink with us. From a song by Hans Leo Hassler, 16th century)

That's why I usually sing before drinking.
And I can confirm that while drinking, something strange happens to the ability to sing.

WARNING:
Alcohol makes you see two motorbikes when you are approaching a car.

[Bosh]

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to attempt to slap cards while playing Egyptian Rat screw with a beer can.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think that a window is a good shortcut.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to stumble around Canadian Burger Kings looking for the hat you left in the hostel.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may result in you getting rolled up in a rug like a human burrito.

[Ming]

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may result in you waking up in the middle of a corn field, with absolutely NO idea how you go there.

[Serb]

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may result in you waking up in someone's bed wondering who is that girl? Where are you? What day is it now? And the most importantly- who the hell are you?

[Promethus]

WARNING:

If enough is good,then to much is not better.

[Skanky Burns]

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may result in you singing "quietly" to yourself at night, waking others in the house up.

[orange]

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may result in a lecture from some know-it-all 'straight-edge' college-aged jerkoff

[ixnay]

WARNING:

The consumption of alcohol may result in you making a fool of yourself in chatrooms that you frequent, leading to hilarious chatlogs like the following:

https://www.kaction.com/drunk.txt

https://www.kaction.com/drunk2.txt

[Chemical Ollie]

WARNING
The consumption of Alcohol may cause silly posts on Internet forums

[ravagon]

And here I was thinking this was about GP.

[Skanky Burns]

*** ixnay is now known as ixnay|salkeep
clowse sentough

Classic stuff, reading the 2nd one now!