Tavern "Iberian Delight" - for all your drinks and meals

[History Guy]

Well, Nuclearis, I raise a glass to you. Have another squid. And some more wine. And some more squid. And some more wine. And have some bread. It's good dipped in the sauce.
And Petro, the menu is beautiful! Ah, more squid choices to make the people happy! Vive la Squid!!

Senor Master, I thank you for your concern. Gastronome will be honored by this token of your respect. In life he loved little more than drinking good red wine and chewing on cacti. He said that the best part was the white, papery, watery bit. He will be remembered. Salud!

Hernan de History Guy Calamari
Squid Salesman

[pikesfan]

Señor de Calamari, does squid go well with squib? Maybe you have distant relatives in Carthage still who could sell us some squib to go with the squid?

[mrmitchell]

sorry if it lacks rp
---
Spamish Mitchell
Spam Brand Squid Shop
1 Spambrand Road

to:
Resident
Tavern Iberian Delight
1 Tavern Road

Dear Resident:
I am most pleased to inform you that the Spam Brand Squid Shop is now open. Although it does sell to individuals, seeing as the Tavern Iberian Delight is the hotbed of activity in the Spanish nation, Spam Brand Squid Shop is willing to sell large quantities of Squid to the Tavern. In fact, we gaurantee we will sell the Squid for a lower price than any other Squid Shop, gauranteed, until we run aground due to lack of profits.

I know what you're thinking--"This guy is a **** idiot! Lowest priced Squid in the land? He must be loco!" Well, you're partially right. Only the Spam Brand Squid Shop could sell Squid at such a low price. Do you know how it does it? VOLUME.

If you return this special one-time offer, we'll give you whatever we could find in the cave, such as...
-10% ownership of the Spam Brand Squid Company
-50 Free Squid (only applicable with year-long commitment)
-250 Free Squid (only applicable with exclusive lifetime commitment)
-1 MILLION Free Squid (we're pulling your leg)
-We might even give you a few of the clan slaves!

Check in one of the boxes:
[ ]YES, I want to have Spam Brand Squid!
[ ]NO, I do not want my customers to enjoy the tasty godness of Spam Brand Squid.
If YES, you want __________ number of Squid per
[ ]Day
[ ]Week
[ ]Month
[ ]I only want one hit.
for [ ] units of time that I picked. (Example, you say you want "600 number of Squid per [X]Day for [738] units of time that I picked.")

Signed,
/--|. (I am roleplaying how someone from our tiem would probably sign it.)

p.s. Would you like to recieve various promotions and items of interest from third parties?

[History Guy]

Senor Pikesfan, I do have the appropriate contacts, of course. If you want squibs, you may have squibs...but I do really suggest that you do not eat them...

Senor Mitchell, the offer of partnership is open. Our squid prices can be made lower, of course, if you so desire.

Hernan de History Guy Calamari
Undisputed Squid Baron

[F-PRO]

Sorry for my long absence; I couldn't get out of my house [my internet connection didn't work].

Well, I'd sure like to let my customers be able to taste all the possible ways a squid can taste, so, mrmitchell, you have a deal. However, I wouldn't like to commit myself too much, so I want only 10 spam brand squid per month for one year. If it seems to be very popular, I will consider ordering more.

Now, what have I missed the past few days? Any good hunting? Any gossip?

[mrmitchell]

Will that be cash, or cash?



As per your talk in the thread that the Spam Brand has low quality, we are now going to change the secret ingredient in our cooking process from cow intestines to--hey, we're not telling you!

(But don't worry, it's not cow intestines.)

Hm. 10*12=120, at 0.01/Squid that would be 1.20gold.

Yup. Yessiree.

Make sure to visit the Squid Shop again!

[Nuclear Winter]

Remember, squidthirty masses, only El squid company feeds his squids with tasty and delicious roman grape sauce!

[History Guy]

El Squid Company produces the finest and cheapest squid, bar none. The taste is so simple, yet so elegant, that it has enchanted all who buy it, however cooked. Whether fried with red sauce or wine sauce, the taste is superb, and far better than anything else possible. It is the oldest, and the best squid company. It is also the first foot company opened in history. We are proud to provide you with the freshest and best squid the world over.

Petro, the next shipment comes tomorrow. Get the cooks ready!

Hernan de History Guy Calamari
Repetitive Squid Baron
--
El Squid Company
Since the Dawn of Mankind

[F-PRO]

I thank you as always for your dedication to the quality of the squids, Hernan.

ANOUNCEMENT: New and refined squid from the El Squid company will be available tomorrow! Our great leader Togas has the natural honour to be the first to taste the squid.

[F-PRO]

People of Spain, please don't be shy to show us all what you're doing here in this tavern.

[OOC]
Do it like this:

*[your name] slams the door open*

GIVE ME A SANGRIA NOW!

*[your name] furiously walks to the bar*
[/OOC]

Isn't that the function of a tavern, socializing? All right, all right, the primary function is to get drunk, but socializing is important too, [OOC] especially in a roleplaying team [/OOC].

NOTE (for those who don't know yet): OOC means Out Of Character (I think). Text between the OOC brackets is not roleplaying.

[History Guy]

(Hernan de History Guy Calamari slams the door open)

GIVE ME A SANGRIA NOW!

(Hernan de History Guy Calamari furiously walks to the bar)

Thanks, Petro, my amigo. The squid will be fantastic. Heck, I'll even come over tomorrow and fry up Togas' helpng for him, as usual. This will be the best yet! It'll never get better...well, it might, but'd be a stretch!

[mrmitchell]

So...Senor Calamari...

are you serving Togas a Squid or the Squid?

What necessarily would "the Squid" be? It could be a codename, like for something top secret.

[History Guy]

(Me thinks...) What??! THE Squid?! Does Senor Mitchell know...the secret?! I thought he was supposed to be undercover and the like, waiting for the perfect time to...

Oh! Sorry, well, of course, Senor, I am preparing for him A squid. A very good squid, I might add. Strong, and healthy, it was. Had to wressle the thing myself. Man, did it squirm. We had to leap down and battle the thing with our axes, but he still got Bob. Luckily, I had brough my hunting bow along, and after hitting him about three dozen times, he finally died. He'll be very good with bread crumbs.

Hernan de History Guy Calamari
Squid Baron

[mrmitchell]

Senor Calamari:

Yes, you tenderized it--maybe that's what my Squid is missing, someone beating it to tenderize it.
---
Hey, Taverndude! Gimme a Squid.

Floris: What? You're eating El Squid Squid?
Spamish: Um...uh, yeah, eating. Oh yeah, this is to go. Hello secret recip-oh. I did not say that!

[F-PRO]

Originally posted by mrmitchell
Hey, Taverndude! Gimme a Squid.

Floris: What? You're eating El Squid Squid?
Spamish: Um...uh, yeah, eating. Oh yeah, this is to go. Hello secret recip-oh. I did not say that!

Halt, stop the thief! I will not let this insult to commercial etiquette continue! Yes, it's true: you forgot to pay for the squid, so please give me the bones now