BANANA KING Tavern Chain

[Aro]

Originally posted by Shiber


... Moments later, the bartender announces:

Sorry, sir, we don't serve bananas here. Get out!

[Shiber]

Calling this a paradox would be an understatement.

[Mr Mayor]

(Crazy man walks in to the bar) " LONG LIVE BISMARK" (Crazy man is beat to hell by a mob of 10yr old drunks)


(Two Tables over Sits Mr Mayor siping jungle berry wine)

(Bartender)Hey , you kids! GET OFF THAT MAN

(10yr old boy) BUT HE SIAD LONG LIVE BISMARK!!!

(ME) GET HIM!!!!

(Bartender) LETS HANG HIM UP BY HIS EARLOAFS!!!!

(yokel2)Come on!
(Yokel1) Whats goin on?
(yokel2) It a giniwine earloaf hanging!
(yokel1) REALY!, havent seen one in years

......1 hour later......


Release me!!!! OUR RACE WILL DOMINATE THE WORLD!!!!! YOU WILL ALL DIE!!!!!!......I WILL HAVE REVENGE.

(Me) Ready..... aim......FIRE!!!!!

(Bartender and 10yr olds lower there rifles)

(Bartender) and that takes care of that.

(Me) How did he cross the border!

(Bartender) I dont know... but it sure was fun Killing one of those germans.

(me) ya it was

[Donegeal]

D*mn! And I thought I was harsh...

[Kuciwalker]

DEATH TO THE FOREIGNER!

oops, too late :P

[Shiber]

Skywalker, didn't you use to employ foreign workers in your Del Monte banana plantation? I wonder what ever happened to them...

[Meshelic]

The German nationalist was lifted from his dead slumber (literally) and thrown out into the cold wilderness

BARTENDER - "Hey I don't want that corpse rotting outside my tavern! It'll turn away business!"

Yokel 1 - "Aw shucks barkeep, you don't need to yell..."
BARTENDER - "Well I mean it! Get rid of that body!"

The ten-year old drunks keep poking at the body....

Meshelic takes another swig of his drink, and slams it on the table. The two yokels simultaneusly turn their heads to him in one quick motion. Meshelic rises from his seat.

Yokel 2 - "Hey where ya goin?"
Meshelic - "To meet thisguy."

[Meshelic]

Meshelic and the stranger who had just appeared in the doorway take a seat in the corner, where the stranger hands Meshelic an envelope.

[Overheard by the yokels]

Stranger - "I apologize for my tardiness, it won't happen again Captain...."
Meshelic - "....and Caesar is there right now?"
Stranger - "I saw him myself, not dressed in his Emperor's clothes, but in a peasants clothing. He is surely hiding from us amid his own citizens...."

Meshelic places the envelope in his overcoat.

Meshelic - "Caesar knows we're after him, it will not be long until we have him...."

The guy in the banana suit pulls up to the bar and orders a....

[Shiber]

"One shot of bwhiskey please."
"I told you already" says the bartender, "we don't serve bananas here."
"I know. I ordered a bwhiskey."
"No, I meant you."
"What?"
"We don't serve bananas here."
"But I asked for..." mumbled the banana guy in confusion.
The phone rings
"I'll get back to you in a second" says the bartender lazily and then walks over to the phone and picks it up.

"Hello, is this the Banana King Tavern?"
"Yes" replies the bartender, "what do you want?"
"I'm looking for a guy named Al" says the voice over the phone. "Last name Coholic."
"Hold on a second" says the bartender and then covers the earpiece with his free hand and shouts to the crowd: "I'm looking for an Al Coholic. Is there an Al Coholic in here?"
Sounds of laughter in the background. The bartender gets it.
"Listen you little brat..." Laughter from the other end following by a hang-up tone.

"This just isn't my day" says the bartender to himself tiredly.

[Kuciwalker]

Re: my banana plantations
I'm not even going to go there. Banana plantations aren't funny anymore, and I'm bored of them too

[Shiber]

The banana guy resumes the conversation
"Could you please take my order now?"
"Alright, I guess. What is it?"
"In this context it's a request for food or refreshments, often given out to a..."
"I know what an order is, I asked what you wanted."
"Oh, right" says the banana guy with a bit of embarrassment. "I'd like a bwhiskey then."
"Alright, bwhiskey it is."

The barternder gets a shot glass, pours whiskey into it, turns around to get the bottle of Banana Extract ("Finest Del Monte brand bananas, guaranteed!"), turns back to pour some into the shot glass to make it into a bwhiskey and to his complete surprise, he sees...

[Kuciwalker]

(breaks word) Oooh! my bananas!

[Shiber]

Originally posted by Shiber
he sees...

A GIGANTIC SNAIL!!
"No way it was a gigantic snail, I tell ya that." says one of the yokels.
"No, I'm telling you fer sure this time, that's what got old McKenzy's cat, a great big roaming jungle snail!"
"You've been smoking bananabis again."
"No I haven't! Oh wait, now I'm not so sure anymore. Do you see it too?"
"What, that thing that the bartender is... looking... at... ??" says the other yokel. His jaw drops at the sight of what is standing in front of the bar:

[Kuciwalker]

lol bannanabis

Where can I get some

[Shiber]

The two guys leaning by the window on the shop next door have some. One has a long blond hair and talks dirty and the other one is a little fat and doesn't talk much (2 lytons if you can tell me who I'm describing here. Come on, this is an easy one).

Btw, I think it was jdjdjd or Aro who first came up with the bannanabis joke.