Beyond the Pit [Pitboss Diplomacy Game] [Story Thread]

[OzzyKP]

The Metalhead kingdom was in disarray. Their beloved leader, Ozzy the Bateater, was away far to the south enjoying some tropical sun, surf, and Thai women. Going against the wisdom of his closest advisors, Butler, Iommi, and Ward he entrusted management of the kingdom to Harold of the Rocks. Harold was a respected leader of the old Rock clan and an expert storyteller. Ozzy figured that while the people have accepted his rule, appointing another Metalhead ruler in his absence may cause issues. So he trusted the kingdom to a Rocker who was heavily influenced by the Metal clan.

Ozzy assumed the bad times were over. The Metalhead dominance over this tribe was complete and had no fears from smaller tribes in the area. The only concern was of large tribes such as the Celts, Khmer, and a mysterious tribe to the east who called themselves the Holy Romans. Contact had been made with the Celts to the west and the Khmer to the south, and they seemed like peaceful, reasonable tribes. Ozzy naively assumed that the Holy Romans would be as civilized as they.

Ozzy left very specific instructions for Harold and left for his vacation. Ozzy hoped Harold would safely guide James Hetfield and his clan on their journey. Ozzy hoped the tribe would thrive in his absence.

Ozzy was wrong.

Harold sent a delegation down to Thailand to speak with Ozzy directly and advise him on the situation. Harold picked Ozzy's trusted advisor, Toni Iommi, and also sent Ozzy's wife - Sharon.

The journey was long. Finally they reached the Khmer capitol. Ozzy however was no where to be found. They asked some guards and were directed to the city jail.

Tony - They have imprisoned our king! How dare they! This is an act of war!

Sharon - Hold on, dear, you know my husband. He probably deserved it. Let us reserve judgement till we see him.

The pair entered the holding area, and there being fanned with palm leaves inside of a bamboo pen was Ozzy Osbourne, mayor of Black Sabbath, king of the Metalheads passed out in his cell. The smell of rum was so strong it was difficult to breathe. Sharon rushed to her husband's side. Iommi demanded to speak to the captain of the guards.

Tony - What is the meaning of this!

Guard - Your king has made quite a spectacle of himself down here. In the interests of friendly relations we couldn't eject him entirely, but after he pissed on the front door of our palace we simply couldn't let him continue to roam the streets in a drunken stupor any longer.

Tony - You have him imprisoned!

Guard - Quite honestly we don't think he is aware. We supply him with all the booze he can drink and attend to his every comfort. He is just as happy here as he was out on the beach.

Sharon, with some difficulty, wakes up Ozzy from his stupor.

Ozzy - Mmnehmn.. mmeh?

Sharon - Ozzy, ****ing, wake up! Something horrible has happened?

Ozzy - Mhhhh? Dhheed dddey run ohhhut of rhhhhum?

Sharon - No, they have gallons of it left.

Sharon picks up a container of rum and splashes it in Ozzy's face.

Ozzy - Ah! ****ing bastard. Shaaaarron! I'm ****ing up!

Sharon - You're a mess, what the **** happened to you? Why are you in ****ing jail? What the **** have you been doing down here?

Ozzy - I'm in jail? **** off! What is the meaning of this!

Sharon - Try to think dear... what did you ****ing do?

Ozzy - ....

Just then Tony Iommi comes into the cell.

Tony - Sharon, he urinated on the Khmer palace.

Ozzy - Who pissed!!? Who pissed on their f*cking palace!?! That b*stard f*cking dog, man. I'm going to throw it in the pool! It's a f*cking terrorist man!

Sharon - No, Ozzy, you are the one who ****ing pissed on the palace.

Ozzy - Oh... **** me. Its... its coming back to me now. ****. I can honestly say, all the bad things that ever happened to me were directly, directly attributed to drugs and alcohol. I mean, I would never urinate at the Khmer palace at nine o'clock in the morning dressed in a woman's evening dress sober.

Tony - We don't have time for this. Ozzy, we are at war. The Holy Romans have attacked and captured a detachment of Metalhead workers sent east of Black Sabbath.

Ozzy - ****ing ******* Holy Romans! ****ing **** **** in the *** ****** and ****!!! I'm gonna **** **** in their *** *****!!

Ozzy - Where were they captured?

Tony - We don't have that information.

Ozzy - What unit captured it?

Tony - We don't have that information.

Ozzy - Did they send a ****ing declaration of war? Did they explain their actions? Did they ****ing let anyone the **** know?

Tony - No, Ozzy, it was a complete surprise attack. They haven't communicated with us - or anyone. We were beginning to think they were entirely mute. Our scouts have observed no songs, no stories, no communication from the Holy Romans for centuries. It is as if they are entirely detached from this world.

Ozzy - Those ****ing ****suckers.

Sharon - When somebody comes who hasn't worked and wants to take what is yours, it pisses me off big time.

Tony - So what are we going to do?

Sharon - I know! We need to surround them. Surround them like a bubble. A bubble they can't escape from. Then we form a bubble around the captured unit.

Ozzy - Bubbles! Oh come on Sharon! I'm ****ing Ozzy Osbourne, I'm the Prince of ****ing Darkness. Evil! Evil! What's ****ing evil about a ****load of bubbles!?

Tony - Shall we attack?

Ozzy - I need more information on what units they have and what we have. Get me that ****ing information right the **** now. But first, we need to talk with them. The ****ing Holy Romans need to speak and speak quick. They need to explain their actions and actually communicate with the outside world. An unannounced, unexplained, and deliberate attack like this is the worst crime a tribe can commit.

Tony - It is as if they have no idea about the laws and customs of our people. The Khmer understand, the Celts understand, but these Holy Romans are oblivious.

Ozzy - The worker must be returned. One way or another it must be returned. Hope for diplomacy but plan for war. And ****ing tell Harold to protect our ****ing people!

Tony - Perhaps the Holy Romans learned of your ferocity and skill and sought to strangle us in the crib.

Ozzy - Well I have no ****ing skill while I am pissed off my ass here in a ****ing bamboo cage. They weren't picking a fight with the ****ing prince of darkness, they were taking advantage of that ****ing Harold of the Rocks. I knew I should have left you, Toni, in charge. **** me.

Ozzy - Shhaaaarrrrooon!! Tell Harold of the Rocks to ****ing fix this ****.

[Pitboss Celts]

Brennus and Roosevelt met and had a great feast. Amongst the food was roasted cow and lion, both of which considered to be delicacies to the American people. Brennus brought grapes and wheat as a gift and taught the Americans how to use these new resources to help feed their people. A long night of drinking ensued and all were groggy in the morning. Brennus hopes that Wendy stayed in her cell. He doesn't need another problem for his wife to yell at him about. At the end of the visit, the two leaders discussed the future and mutually agreed upon borders for expansion of their great empires.

Although communication with the Khmer has been difficult due to language barriers, both civilizations have agreed to meet near the coast and discuss relations since they are such close neighbors. Perhaps the two civilizations will live in harmony with such close borders.

[OzzyKP]

Ozzy - One more thing Tony.

Tony - Yes?

Ozzy - While we are here among the Khmer, we should meet with them to discuss the current situation with the ****ing Holy Romans. In my time here I have seen a strong and mighty military. The Holy Romans are strong and truly metal-clad. I witnessed a unit of axmen who I believe was venturing to the north and east. Tell the Khmer that if they assist us in securing the return of our enslaved party of workers that we will help them enslave and keep Holy Roman workers as payment.

Tony - Yes sir, that is a splendid idea.

[Pitboss America]

The Hovel Report

Yes all of America is hurting from the night of debauchery and drunkiness courtesy of Brennus. Wicked Wendy is most upset from being excluded but our Celtic brothers breathed a sigh of relief.



WEO - Wendy Expresses Outrage

[Pitboss Vikings]

Harolds Plight

Harold was in sheer terror, he knew Ozzys temper. Harold grabbed the chief road works engineer and asked for maps of the war area.


the chie explained this map showed the plan road, a way of increasing tourists to Ozzys concerts.

It showed how the HRE attacked from the NE the band of workeres happily singing for the night on the outskirts of Ozzys first city state.

Now the HRE sdespite numerous requests for diplomacy had left the area with the workers enslaved.

[Pitboss Japan]

Still trapped on the Jin Kessen could only think about his mother and father who died in the invasion. Daily reports from the resistance in the city tell only of the mass hangings of the Oda faithful. His heart was filled with anger for what Lord Zanza had done, pain for the loss of the thousands who bravely defended the city of Kyoto, and despair for he did not know how long it would take to come back and he did not know if anyone would help him regain Japan from the evil tyrant who has taken control. Reports also come in about Lord Zanza’s army. Little by little it grows and soon it will be too big for Kessen’s forces to try to take the city back. With the Shadow council in hiding the only ones who were able to slow the Zanza guard down were the resistance. Not knowing the exact intent that Lord Zanza had Kessen know he had to hurry before something bad happened.

[Pitboss Japan]

In the palace Lord Zanza sits and thinks to himself.

Hahahahahahaha everything went exactly how I predicted. The once Great Oda clan has fallen to its knees and I Zonoske Zanza was the one who did it with a little help from another. Now I must cleans this land of all the Oda so I can focus on my new objective. I will build my army and send them to the closest civilization to me and I will destroy them and take their lands. One by one all the greatest empires in the world will fall and there is nothing anyone can do about it. I and I alone will be the ruler of this world!

[Pitboss Vikings]

Young Will Howard was cleaning his lords chambers when a bird flew in a window, He wouldnt have paid it much attention except it was not a bird from anywhere seen in Oldonia.

Will advanced on the bird and itwsnt frightened. it sat there waiting on him.

Tied to the birds leg was a note. Addressed to a long time dead ruler of Oldonia.

Will grabbed the letter and rushed it to the new Despot.

The Despot smiled and knew he would have to reward young Will later.

He read the letter and laughed. This bird had flown many many kilometres and obviously got lost a few times.

The letter was from the Native tribe his ancestors had met so long ago. They had came and left so quickly.

Here the ancient leader of the natives spoke of the Oldonians being savages and not worth trading with.

He smiled. He scribbled his own note and attached it to the bird and it flew away. Perhaps in another 1000 yrs it would arrive back where it cam from , perhpas.

[Pitboss Japan]

Nothing but fear and death now lives in the once great city of Kyoto. Everyone fears Lord Zanza and his men. Anyone who speaks against the Zanza is murdered slowly infront of every one. The workers now only have the task of making more graves eachday. thousands of unmarked graves now litter the once beautiful country side. Yet with all the fear and death lives a small glimmer of hope. A small group is slowly getting ready to make their way across the great moutains that devide the island to the birth place of their once great leader Oda Nobunaga. There they plan to rebuild the great fortress of Gifu and build a new city far from the evils of the Zanza clan.

[Pitboss Portugal]

At Korecom:

Lord Meto, the roman scout party hasn’t turned back; they are on top of the hills just outside Korecom. We never got an answer from them!!

Meto II:

ENOUGH hide the people in side the city gates. Order the local guard to advance on the Romans on the hills and meet them head on if they are still there tomorrow morning.

A messenger arrived from the Outpost:

Lord lord my lord, we have two roman warrior divisions advancing from the south as we speak. They are heading toward Outpost. BearSlayer has left Outpost to meet them face to face. Scouts tell us those Romans are specifically trained to attack cities.

Meto II:

We need to strike first, do not let them anymore nearer to our city. Send one Outpost Guard division to attack the Roman city. The BearSlayer can take care of the approaching Romans.

Meto II:

A WAR, a war will get the message through to these roman barbarians in the south.

If they can’t understand our language, they will for sure get our message this time!!

[Pitboss Rome]

[OOC]CyberShy: I'm subbing for Rome, he's gone all week. I didn't pay attention to the in-game posts to Rome, just because I didn't think about that. I didn't knew that the in-game password would match the poly password, but apparantly it does, so I'll try to fix what I have broken right away.[/OOC]

A lonely man was running away from Rome, heading towards the north. He was clothed in the finest clothes. He carried jewelry and a bag with him.
He ran like there was no tomorrow.

A river crossed his path. There was a moment of hestitation, then he jumped into the water and crossed the water like a duck.

He lost track of day and night. He slept briefly every few hours. When he waked up he looked scared and looked back at Rome, like he expected the city to burst out in flames any moment. "Rome, my Rome" he whispered. Then he started to run again.

Sometimes he had to rest a few minutes. Trying to catch his breath again. He sweated, he slimed, he smelled.
He ran like a hase.

His fine clothes started to vanish.
His body became scraped and hurt.
There was blood, there was dirt.
He lost his jewels but took care of his bag.

He continued to head to the north.
With a great speed every day.

Then he approached the great city of Lissabon (?).
A guard saw him coming and screamed: "a beggar is approaching us, what shall we do?"

From the moment he saw Lissabon he didn't take time anymore to rest or to sleep. He ran and every step came sooner after his last step.

When he entered the city the people of Lissabon watched him crawl into the city. Crying "Rome, oh Rome....."
Then one of the palace guards stopped him: "Leave our city! Now!"

"No no, bring me to your leader! I have a message from Rome!"

The beggar was brought to Lord Meto III.
"You come from Rome?" the lord asked the beggar.
"Yes, I come from Rome, excuse me for my appearance..."
"Your appearance suits your homeland! This war is not because we are warlike! It is because your king ignored our messages! We had to declare war to defend our people"

"My lord" the beggar continued "My lord my lord, have mercy on the roman people. Our king was away on a journey and therefor he never answered your messages"

"Your King should have appointed someone in his place"

"He did, but this person failed"

"Now there is war, you came too late. Your cities aren't well defended, why should we accept your insults and let you go away with it? Your scouts approach our cities. Your warriors head towards our outpost. You came too late"

"Have mercy on the Roman people! Forgive us!"

The beggard kneeled down in front of Lord Meto.
"I am willing to surrender my life to you, Lord Meto, please accept my life and let me be your slave, in exchange for the freedom of our people" the baggar said.

"Tell your king Romulus that I AM INSULTED by the idea to accept the life of a beggar in exchange for peace! Tell your king Romulus that this is the most unhonorable proposal I have ever received! Tell your king Romulus that he can enslave his own people. I do not take slaves to spare the power of the kings of evil nations"

"I am king Romulus" the beggar answered. "And I am willing to obey your commands, as long as you let my people live in freedom, and will not touch our cities. I will obey you and follow you."

[Pitboss Portugal]

At Outpost:

Bear Slayer

Drink my friends, DRINK, tomorrow we have orders to follow, Romans approach from the south. I will personally meet them and show them my new big and shiny axe.

The rest of you Guard the Outpost, be on the lookout!

While the Bear Slayer was talking, one of the Outpost Guards made a bet with some of his fellow guards.

The Guard:

I can all alone take control of that roman city; I will march alone and enter that city unopposed. You will see. I will even head off right away. The Bear Slayer will not take all the glory for tomorrows fight.

And so he hastily left the camp fire and merged into the night.

One of his friends:

Man I am drunk, so drunk that was some good ale you brought from Korecom my friend. Still is it the ale or I am really seeing our friend’s axe laying here still.

Another one:

Xaxa he forgot his axe, what is he going to fight the Romans with!!!!


Later on affront of the Roman city:

Drunken soldier:

Sh…t s…..t where the f…ck is my axe. Here they come…………………………..

[Pitboss Portugal]

Romulus:

“Romulus, finally I have someone to speak to. Again I ask you to withdraw your warriors from my borders and head back home. Stop scouting my lands here.

As you may have heard, there have been already some skirmishes down in the south.

Some of the local greenhorns in Outpost decided to test their axes and failed due to the much alcohol concentration in their blood.

But enough of childish acts, The Bear Slayer is on the move, I can still send a messenger and recall him back. Last time he was seen pursuing a dozen roman warriors in the hills. He will obey my orders!”

[Pitboss Persia]

Contacting the Oldonians

The bird She had sent came back to Her. It carried an answer to Her greetings to the oldonian tribe. She had sent this bird, after hearing about this people from Chief Tarhe.

It was outrageous. The answer wasn't even written by their ruler ! His brother wrote it. How could a foreigner adress words to Her, without being a ruler among his people ? How could he dare speaking to Her as if he was an equal ? The generous offer She had made to these unknown people, establishing trade relations, was declined by this man who pretended to have nothing but friendship to trade. Do they think they may trade with the Piercian Empire for free?

She called for her adviser in order to discuss how the Piercan Empire could deal with that tribe. Relations with the Oldonians didn't take a good start at all.

[Pitboss Japan]

Lord Zanza walks outside. The smell of the rotting severed heads fills the air around him. He smiles and takes a big breath of air. His longs fill with the stench of death as he smiles in delight of the smell. He the looks at the west towards the fields in the east; he sees the thousands of nameless crosses filling the once beautiful fields. He begins to smile even more. He thinks to himself how great it would be to have the head of the young Kenshin placed in the center of the city along with the heads of his dear parents. At that moment a messenger came to him and told him that Kenshin was still alive. He told him that the rumors of his death was wrong and that Kenshin was going off to try to get help to over through Lord Zanza. Lord Zanza’s smile disappeared and without warning he took his Ax and chopped off the head of the messenger. He called to one of the Zanza commanders and told him to take 10 units and track Kenshin down. He told him to go and kill anyone who said they would help Kenshin. If any resist the commander was to kill the leader and proceed to destroy everything around the city. Roads were to be destroyed, farms and villages were to be burned, mines were to be destroyed, and any one outside the city was to be killed. No prisoners were to be kept, if they captured a worker it was to be executed on the spot. If the people still resisted then the city was to be burned to the ground. No mercy was to be given. Lord Zanza then closed his eyes and began to imagine the screams of the woman as they were rapped to death, the cries of the children as their heads were slowly off, the yells of the elderly who were put into a building then burned to death, and the faces of the man who were made to watch as each limb was slowly cut off at the joints. After hearing the orders of Lord Zanza the commander nodded his head and walked away. He did as he was ordered but he couldn’t stop thinking about what Lord Zanza said. He knows his Lord had gone mad and his blood lust was inhuman but, he had his orders and as a good solder he was going to carry it out to the end like a good solder should.