The Madrid Monitor
August 12, 155 a.d.
1/10 Gold Piece
____________________
TOP STORY
____________________
Top Russian Official Leaks Document to Monitor!
Moscow, Russia - An unnamed Russian official has leaked what has been described as evidence that there was collusion between Zionist Rebels and American leaders:
-width: 1px 1px 1px 1px; border-color:#000080;">quote:
To the Patriarch of Washington
I write to you seeking your assistance in a matter of most grave importance. As you may or may not be aware, our tsar has fallen, as Adam did, under the sway of evil most foul, embodied by that incarnation of Lillith who stands beside him. He has repeatedly tried to sweet-talk us to the ways of the devil, but we have held firm in our faith. Yet half of Russia is already under the sway of this demonic influence, and there are furthermore, rumors that a witch from the Kingdom of Darkness is on his way to Moscow to percipitate our fall from grace. This, as you must agree, cannot be allowed to come to pass.
Thus, we present this plan to you for your approval. The witch shall be staked upon arrival. From thence, we shall arrest Lillith and her accursed offspring, and burn the demons on the stake. We shall enlighten the people about the evils that have befallen them and our land due to her vile corruption. And after that, we shall drive the agents of darkness from Russia herself.
In all this, of course, we seek your advice, support, and final approval.
Rabbi Aleksandr Arakcheev, Patriarch of Moscow
Obviously such a letter would be huge evidence incriminating the Americans in being complicit, or at least somewhat knowlegable of the actions of these Jewish rebels. The letter proves that the Americans, being the head of the Jewish faith, would have knowlege of this activity, and further activities by Zionist extremists. However Foreign Minister Bartolo Calderon de Castilla disagrees. When we confronted him with the letter he said "Without knowlege of who provided the letter, or proof it is legitimate, Spain can not make any decision either way and maintains neutrality in a conflict that has nothing to do with Spain what-so-ever." The conflict reached full tension with the declaration of war upon Russia by the Americans, which was answered with India support, after which the Germans declared war on India and Russia on behalf of the Americans. No other nations are known to have been involved, but top officials predict France will have something to do with the struggle sooner or later.
The Madrid Monitor would like to say that we have nothing to do with the letter, we had no hand in writing it, or creating it at all. The letter was recieved by a high ranking official with the Russian government, we would not have published it without this being the case. So if anyone challenges us for creating a bad situation you have nobody to blame but the government of Russia for allowing this to come out. Thank you.
____________________
DOMESTIC REPORT
____________________
Generals Mendoza and Cadrez Return to Spain With Tales of Foreign Lands!
Toledo - The Generals Mendoza and Cadrez, who were initially dispatched under King Bainor to help lend support to the English against the Mongols finally returned after years upon years of travel around the world. "I was disappointed I missed so many events" said General Cadrez "But I am happy to see Spain at peace and more powerful than before." General Cadrez is the highest ranking military official in the Spanish army, and traveled a route that brought him south to the jungles of India even before the Indians had settled it. He reached as far south as the German-named Wildwaldt forests, but ventured no further south into the Jewish lands of Germany, America and France. General Mendoza traveled a more northernly route through Russia and the Incan lands into England and north to the border with Mongolia, he never ventured into Mongolian territory though as King Bainor called the troops back from the front. The two collaborated on a map that, while crudely drawn, does a good job reflecting the geo-Political position of Spain compared to other lands. There are a few mistakes particularly with the labelling "here be Germans," this part of the map is speculation and from current diplomatic positions we know this territory is actually America:
General Cadrez has announced he will retire soon, which would make General Mendoza the highest ranking General in the Royal Army of Spain. The map will be displayed in the Citadel of Madrid.
____________________
FOREIGN REPORT
____________________
Chinese Empire Searches for Wife!
Beijing, China - The Chinese Empire has again announced they are in search of a wife, and this time Spain is jumping at the opportunity; "The Empire of China has been a great neighbor of Spain, we have enjoyed thousands of years of peace and Buddhist harmony. Our religion is the same, and we have maintained peaceful relations with all nations for years, so it is a perfect match" King Rodrigo Diaz de Vivar (El Cid) remarked today. Potential candidates include Isabella de Castilla, and Maria Olivares de Barcelona. Foreign Minister Bartolo Calderon de Cordoba would first hold audience with the Chinese foreign minister before considering the marriage in order to iron out certain undisclosed agreements with the Chinese.
Call for Northern Summitt Falls on Deaf Ears!
Madrid, Spain - Through the office of the Foreign Ministry a plea by Spanish King Rodrigo Diaz de Vivar fell on deaf ears. The letter, which was sent to China, Russia and India was ignored by all three nations, as hostilities mounted leading up to offical war between the Indo-Russian alliance and the German/American alliance. "This type of conflict could have been avoided by the summitt" foreign minister Bartolo Calderon de Cordoba said "In fact, one of the points in the letter was the situation with the Jewish Missionaries, an issue that went unresolved and now has lead to war." The King announced he will again send a call for a non-aggression summitt again, but this time the list of invitees will be quite different. "We understand certain countries are going to be embroiled and influenced by war, and these countries will have to be omitted from the guest list because of this." No word set on when exactly this would occur.
____________________
EDITORIAL
____________________
Official Retraction!
The Madrid Moniter would like to officially retract our editorial entitled "Don't Believe What you Hear!" by Isidor Bainor de Castilla. The editors try and allow all sides of a story to come through, but in this case the rhetoric used by Isidor was hateful and could have lead, or at least help to lead the countries of Russia, India, America, and Germany to war. We apologize to these people, and pray they can find a peaceful means to solve their issues. Thank you.
____________________
SPECIAL INTEVIEW:
THE GURU SANTO
____________________
Recently the Madrid Monitor had the pleasure of interviewing the Guru Santo, who will be taking a goodwill trip to China in order to speak with Chinese leaders and to get a good look at the Chinese princes who wish to marry our princesses...
MM: Thank you for coming Guru, it is a wonderful honor.
GS: The honor is all mine, with such an influential newspaper as a forum my word can reach many people around the world, including some Kings of other lands.
MM: Let me get right to it. You have a lot of influence with El Cid, and you are vehemently against this war in the south, why hasn't he come out against the war officially?
GS: Well, the King is under a lot of pressure, and he has to represent Spain to the entire world. While I can talk of peace, and condemn the actions of Russia, India, America, and Germany he can not. I don't really think he agrees with me on the issue though.
MM: So you are telling us that the King really doesn't want the war to end?
GS: He would love for it to end, but he knows it is not his place to talk about it, and it is not his concern.
MM: Alright, so you personally don't think war is the answer in this case? Especially considering the accusations of espionage, regicide, sedition, and a host of other crimes the two sides have been accusing eachother with. I mean, these are normal men, they are not holy men like yourself.
GS: I understand, it is difficult to agree when everyone is arguing, and tensions run high. But as a great Spanish writer once said "when everyone is to blame, nobody is to blame," rings true here (thanks Nicoda ). So we can't approach this as if it is somebody's fault, because right now we can place the blame on all of them, and at the same time none of them.
MM: I see, very deep Guru. Now tell us a little bit about your tour of China.
GS: Well I've spent many years here in Spain meditating and writing, and I know I have to see Buddhists the world over, and the country with the second largest Buddhist population is China. The religious wealth is so strong there, they have Buddhism, they have Hindusim and the scholars are wonderful people. I am going to have a great time while I'm there learning about other people.
MM: Word has it that you're going to be checking out these princes, to see if they're good enough for our own royalty.
GS: Well, that is part of it, it would please me to see the realm of Buddhism come under a peaceful coexistance, but you can't force it, and I know the princesses pretty well, so I will just make sure these boys aren't evil men and speak with their leaders as well. I am looking forward to it.
MM: Well thanks again Guru Santo, you are always welcome here.
GS: Thank you, and peace be with you.
August 12, 155 a.d.
1/10 Gold Piece
____________________
TOP STORY
____________________
Top Russian Official Leaks Document to Monitor!
Moscow, Russia - An unnamed Russian official has leaked what has been described as evidence that there was collusion between Zionist Rebels and American leaders:
To the Patriarch of Washington
I write to you seeking your assistance in a matter of most grave importance. As you may or may not be aware, our tsar has fallen, as Adam did, under the sway of evil most foul, embodied by that incarnation of Lillith who stands beside him. He has repeatedly tried to sweet-talk us to the ways of the devil, but we have held firm in our faith. Yet half of Russia is already under the sway of this demonic influence, and there are furthermore, rumors that a witch from the Kingdom of Darkness is on his way to Moscow to percipitate our fall from grace. This, as you must agree, cannot be allowed to come to pass.
Thus, we present this plan to you for your approval. The witch shall be staked upon arrival. From thence, we shall arrest Lillith and her accursed offspring, and burn the demons on the stake. We shall enlighten the people about the evils that have befallen them and our land due to her vile corruption. And after that, we shall drive the agents of darkness from Russia herself.
In all this, of course, we seek your advice, support, and final approval.
Rabbi Aleksandr Arakcheev, Patriarch of Moscow
Obviously such a letter would be huge evidence incriminating the Americans in being complicit, or at least somewhat knowlegable of the actions of these Jewish rebels. The letter proves that the Americans, being the head of the Jewish faith, would have knowlege of this activity, and further activities by Zionist extremists. However Foreign Minister Bartolo Calderon de Castilla disagrees. When we confronted him with the letter he said "Without knowlege of who provided the letter, or proof it is legitimate, Spain can not make any decision either way and maintains neutrality in a conflict that has nothing to do with Spain what-so-ever." The conflict reached full tension with the declaration of war upon Russia by the Americans, which was answered with India support, after which the Germans declared war on India and Russia on behalf of the Americans. No other nations are known to have been involved, but top officials predict France will have something to do with the struggle sooner or later.
The Madrid Monitor would like to say that we have nothing to do with the letter, we had no hand in writing it, or creating it at all. The letter was recieved by a high ranking official with the Russian government, we would not have published it without this being the case. So if anyone challenges us for creating a bad situation you have nobody to blame but the government of Russia for allowing this to come out. Thank you.
____________________
DOMESTIC REPORT
____________________
Generals Mendoza and Cadrez Return to Spain With Tales of Foreign Lands!
Toledo - The Generals Mendoza and Cadrez, who were initially dispatched under King Bainor to help lend support to the English against the Mongols finally returned after years upon years of travel around the world. "I was disappointed I missed so many events" said General Cadrez "But I am happy to see Spain at peace and more powerful than before." General Cadrez is the highest ranking military official in the Spanish army, and traveled a route that brought him south to the jungles of India even before the Indians had settled it. He reached as far south as the German-named Wildwaldt forests, but ventured no further south into the Jewish lands of Germany, America and France. General Mendoza traveled a more northernly route through Russia and the Incan lands into England and north to the border with Mongolia, he never ventured into Mongolian territory though as King Bainor called the troops back from the front. The two collaborated on a map that, while crudely drawn, does a good job reflecting the geo-Political position of Spain compared to other lands. There are a few mistakes particularly with the labelling "here be Germans," this part of the map is speculation and from current diplomatic positions we know this territory is actually America:
General Cadrez has announced he will retire soon, which would make General Mendoza the highest ranking General in the Royal Army of Spain. The map will be displayed in the Citadel of Madrid.
____________________
FOREIGN REPORT
____________________
Chinese Empire Searches for Wife!
Beijing, China - The Chinese Empire has again announced they are in search of a wife, and this time Spain is jumping at the opportunity; "The Empire of China has been a great neighbor of Spain, we have enjoyed thousands of years of peace and Buddhist harmony. Our religion is the same, and we have maintained peaceful relations with all nations for years, so it is a perfect match" King Rodrigo Diaz de Vivar (El Cid) remarked today. Potential candidates include Isabella de Castilla, and Maria Olivares de Barcelona. Foreign Minister Bartolo Calderon de Cordoba would first hold audience with the Chinese foreign minister before considering the marriage in order to iron out certain undisclosed agreements with the Chinese.
Call for Northern Summitt Falls on Deaf Ears!
Madrid, Spain - Through the office of the Foreign Ministry a plea by Spanish King Rodrigo Diaz de Vivar fell on deaf ears. The letter, which was sent to China, Russia and India was ignored by all three nations, as hostilities mounted leading up to offical war between the Indo-Russian alliance and the German/American alliance. "This type of conflict could have been avoided by the summitt" foreign minister Bartolo Calderon de Cordoba said "In fact, one of the points in the letter was the situation with the Jewish Missionaries, an issue that went unresolved and now has lead to war." The King announced he will again send a call for a non-aggression summitt again, but this time the list of invitees will be quite different. "We understand certain countries are going to be embroiled and influenced by war, and these countries will have to be omitted from the guest list because of this." No word set on when exactly this would occur.
____________________
EDITORIAL
____________________
Official Retraction!
The Madrid Moniter would like to officially retract our editorial entitled "Don't Believe What you Hear!" by Isidor Bainor de Castilla. The editors try and allow all sides of a story to come through, but in this case the rhetoric used by Isidor was hateful and could have lead, or at least help to lead the countries of Russia, India, America, and Germany to war. We apologize to these people, and pray they can find a peaceful means to solve their issues. Thank you.
____________________
SPECIAL INTEVIEW:
THE GURU SANTO
____________________
Recently the Madrid Monitor had the pleasure of interviewing the Guru Santo, who will be taking a goodwill trip to China in order to speak with Chinese leaders and to get a good look at the Chinese princes who wish to marry our princesses...
MM: Thank you for coming Guru, it is a wonderful honor.
GS: The honor is all mine, with such an influential newspaper as a forum my word can reach many people around the world, including some Kings of other lands.
MM: Let me get right to it. You have a lot of influence with El Cid, and you are vehemently against this war in the south, why hasn't he come out against the war officially?
GS: Well, the King is under a lot of pressure, and he has to represent Spain to the entire world. While I can talk of peace, and condemn the actions of Russia, India, America, and Germany he can not. I don't really think he agrees with me on the issue though.
MM: So you are telling us that the King really doesn't want the war to end?
GS: He would love for it to end, but he knows it is not his place to talk about it, and it is not his concern.
MM: Alright, so you personally don't think war is the answer in this case? Especially considering the accusations of espionage, regicide, sedition, and a host of other crimes the two sides have been accusing eachother with. I mean, these are normal men, they are not holy men like yourself.
GS: I understand, it is difficult to agree when everyone is arguing, and tensions run high. But as a great Spanish writer once said "when everyone is to blame, nobody is to blame," rings true here (thanks Nicoda ). So we can't approach this as if it is somebody's fault, because right now we can place the blame on all of them, and at the same time none of them.
MM: I see, very deep Guru. Now tell us a little bit about your tour of China.
GS: Well I've spent many years here in Spain meditating and writing, and I know I have to see Buddhists the world over, and the country with the second largest Buddhist population is China. The religious wealth is so strong there, they have Buddhism, they have Hindusim and the scholars are wonderful people. I am going to have a great time while I'm there learning about other people.
MM: Word has it that you're going to be checking out these princes, to see if they're good enough for our own royalty.
GS: Well, that is part of it, it would please me to see the realm of Buddhism come under a peaceful coexistance, but you can't force it, and I know the princesses pretty well, so I will just make sure these boys aren't evil men and speak with their leaders as well. I am looking forward to it.
MM: Well thanks again Guru Santo, you are always welcome here.
GS: Thank you, and peace be with you.
Comment