'I'm so bad at Civ IV that'...

[Theben]

... all my horse units put their promotions into + % withdrawl.

... my Indian UU is the slow worker.

... I send 2 caravels in opposite directions to get the Magellan bonus, and they run aground on opposite ends of the same island.

[Lord Avalon]

...even if my leader is Spiritual, I still get anarchy.

...if my leader is Financial, I can't seem to generate more than 1 in a square.

...when I select City Garrison, it doesn't add to defense, but rather withdrawal.

...I'm sure I hear units crying, "Run away! Run away!" as they leave the battlefield.

...if a unit has first strike, that means there's a good chance it goes on strike and does nothing.

...I only get coal when it's Christmas.

...my settlers can never catch up to that damn blue circle - it keeps moving just out of reach!

[Julian Delphiki]

@ this thread.

[EPW]

...my city's starve even at size 1!

[Lancer]

We should really work up a Top 10 list...

Could we put the not too stupid ones in a poll and all vote 1-10? The poll doesn't support that does it?

[Lord Avalon]

...I built the Apostolic Palace, and even though I was the only one with its religion, I still wasn't voted in as resident.

...and every AP resolution went against me.

[Solomwi]

...I tried to build the Apostolic Palace, and wound up with a Vegas wedding chapel.

...the priest in that city instantly turned into an Elvis imitator.

...my gunships just keep shipping my guns to the enemy.

...my supermedic refuses to heal any units until I institute a universal healthcare system.

...I created a Medic III explorer, then sent him out exploring.

...my merchants look suspiciously like Richard Scrushy.

...my engineers look suspiciously like Rube Goldberg

...my priests look suspiciously like Jimmy Swaggart

...my artists are all boy bands, and create unhappiness in every city on the continent.

...my scientists keep insisting that I divert all research to "Funny Hats."

...I heed their advice.

[Unimatrix11]

...that a buddy of mine used to take ages for his turns, because he believed, he needed to tell all his wounded units to heal with the "wait until healed" button, otherwise they wouldnt heal - and still beat me.

...that, after buddhism, hindusim and judaism have all just been founded far away in unknown lands, i decide to beeline for monotheism, for the 25% production bonus on buildings from the organized religion civic - in cities running the state religion !

[Lord Avalon]

...I couldn't understand why I kept getting messages that my capital was undefended - I had a unit in there. Then a barbarian captured it - and the worker inside.

[LordShiva]

Originally posted by Solomwi
...my artists are all boy bands, and create unhappiness in every city on the continent.

[LordShiva]

...I tried to get my Great Scientist to discover Evolution, but he decided to "discover" Intelligent Design instead.

[EPW]

...DanQ beat me in Multiplayer!

[Krill]

...I played CIV in a wet dream and lost.

[Lord Avalon]

...I circumnavigated the globe, and everyone else's ships got +1 movement.

...whenever gold or silver pops up, the nearest city garrison disbands to become miners.

...my spies spend their time checking out the priestesses at the Temple of Artemis.

...when I built the Oracle, instead of a free tech, I got a "build one warrior, get one free" coupon.

...and it had just expired the turn before.

[DanQ]

Great thread!

Originally posted by EPW
...DanQ beat me in Multiplayer!

I stick to SP only -- shows how much you know.