World Football Thread XX: Auf Wiedersehen, Pet.

[Maquiladora]

Scotland '78.....

Tonight on BBC1 there will be a 2 hour special documentary on the forthcoming world cup.

As an alternative, viewers in Scotland will be shown the film Out of Africa.

[Maquiladora]

Brazil have been drawn against Scotland in the World Cup, and Ronaldo tells his team mates that he's going to play them on his own, single-handed.

so they all sod off down the pub, have a few drinks, play some pool, and keep up with the score on Teletext.

they see 'Ronaldo' go 1-0 up after 15 minutes and can't believe it.

then, in the last seconds of injury time, they see Scotland equalise.

still more than impressed that one man held a whole team to a draw, they go back to the ground to congratulate Ronaldo, who they find sitting in the dressing room, head-in-hands, looking utterly distraught.

Roberto Carlos asks him 'why are you so upset?'

and Ronaldo replies 'I can't believe I let you all down like this'

Carlos says 'what do you mean? you played an entire team on your own and got a draw. that's incredible!'

and Ronaldo says to him 'no - you don't understand. I got sent off after half an hour'.

[Imran Siddiqui]

[Ben Kenobi]

That's a great joke. I'll have to remember it.

[Dauphin]

That's a great joke. I'll have to remember it.

It's funny even if very old.

The actual result was 2-1.

[Cort Haus]

Yes, the joke is badly in need of a coat of paint. Fatslowcrockedunpicked Ronaldo is hardly the icon that he was.

[Maquiladora]

Fatslowcrockedunpicked Ronaldo is hardly the icon that he was.

That just makes it better.

[duke o' york]

True.

We're back at the top of the league.

The only trouble is that we're getting far too good at Championship football (Manager I would mind less ). When/if we go up again then we'll desperately need an injection of quality players or else we'll go straight down again, just like so many of the promoted teams.

[Cort Haus]

Don't worry duke. Early days - plenty of time for you to balls it all up yet.

[Maquiladora]

I keep reading about the quality of the Championship these days, so how did Carl Cort Shola Ameobi bag 4 goals in 6 games?

[duke o' york]

That doesn't matter any more, given that he's out until December.

We've just lost our first game too.

Which is in itself pretty amazing, given that we've only had one fit striker for the last two, and he's only just come out of the under 19s.

[duke o' york]

Even though I hate the Smoggies this is funny.

[duke o' york]

In order to address our cumulative knack up front, we've just got Marlon Harewood on loan until January.

I'm not that confident he'll be a success with us, although it is a bonus if we can boast the world record-holder for the man with the smallest face in our line-up. More of a bonus if he can score now and again. We're on telly on Saturday night in the "Bobby game", and I'm not sure he'll be picked to start even with our depleted resources. Suppose we have to wait and see how fit he is after not playing for Villa since last season (was it January? ).

[Krill]

I'm just pissed off that Port Vale lost to S****horpe. I was hoping they'd win and get Stoke in the next round. I'd pay to watch that, but so would most of the city.

[Krill]

Jesus wept.