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What do you look for in a partner?

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  • #16
    Best hugs.
    Cat parent.
    Matching playlist.
    "because we grown".
    Woke Factor 10/10.


    • #17
      A calm person, understanding, somebody who would support me and value everything I do for him.

      Last edited by Shiba28; April 21, 2019, 15:45.


      • #18
        Hi Pekka!

        Found myself in this boat too.

        They totally did not look like their pictures did. Not at all, or even close. It's not the disappointment in their looks, or lack of possible attraction (I find it to be more complex; like good sense of humour, attitude, brain and a smile will go a LONG way, if not all the way). It's the lie. It is like did you really think the would go unnoticed?
        Actually haven't noticed this too much, if anything it's been the opposite, folks looking better than their photos.

        - Swearing. I swear, I swear a lot but not when getting to know someone. There's a silent rule that you feel out their level of darkness. When you find the bottom and if it matches yours, good. if they just outright show it to you, they're trying to impress you with the wrong things. Plus it's not classy at all. Not assuming I'm OK with all the f bombs in the first five minutes. I'll go for those after several dates.

        It's not something I've noticed too much of. I tend on the other side and try to not swear as much.

        - hand shakes. It's not a business meeting. As I don't smell bad, look disgusting, or anything of that nature, it's OK to give a short hug. If you stab someone with a hand, it's a sign of no interest (which is OK), or some sort of severe issue, of sexual nature. I've found this to be true and have lost of empirical evidence.
        Yeah, this is a big thing. Lots of ladies are shy and awkward. This is a big red flag for me.

        - not comfortable with silence. Again, some sort of sexual problem, with the need for constant filling of the void. Needing the attention, or poor self esteem
        I actually don't mind chatterboxes.

        - Poor self esteem. Often a sign of sexual problems or neglected as a child. If in therapy about it, it's good, a sign of self development.

        Eh, everyone has their hangups. This doesn't phase me.

        - funky odors. Poor hygiene, often a result of poor lifestyle or mental health issues. Sometimes, though rarely, sexual problems.
        Yeah, this.

        - Checks out the phone more than once for no particular reason. No class.
        This is an increasing problem, but for the most part I haven't ran into this too much.

        - Makes no initiatives as to where to eat, have coffee, what movies to see, etc. Poor self esteem, is a pleaser far too much. Definitely neglect as a child or sexual trauma. Avoid but be compassionate.

        I find it a balancing act between those who want to do everything themselves and those who prefer to defer everything. It's nice to have a mix of that. Yes, it's nice when you take the initiative. No, it's not when I have to argue with you all the time.

        - Is in between jobs with no education, added with hundreds of instagram photos with Buddhist quotes. Most likely depressed.
        Actually haven't ran into too much of this.

        To look for:
        - nice genuine smile. Eyes also smile. Some people have such great smiles it just fills you with warmth.
        - Just a nice person. Whereas "nice" can be mixed with avoid or boring, I prefer nice women. Nice, kind-hearted lady with a wide great smile, if it's real, that's 99 % for yours truly.
        - Smart and dark sense of humour. Just to click with, we won't have chemistry without it but if we do, then all is good.
        - If this all shows out, I will find them attractive and sexy. No amounts of physical attributes will ever replace personality and just someone who is nice.
        Your list is pretty similar to what I look for. Of course, a few extra things like being Catholic and wants kids. Having a university education is a nice bonus and I like it if she has her own opinions and isn't afraid to express them.
        Scouse Git (2) La Fayette Adam Smith Solomwi and Loinburger will not be forgotten.
        "Remember the night we broke the windows in this old house? This is what I wished for..."


        • #19
          Alive, has a pulse, not dead