Ex

[Lorizael]

Beginning of 2013, when the ex "confronted" me about the fact that she no longer wanted to put off having children, the arrangement we came to was that I would go into therapy to figure things out and we would return to the issue in six months. (I had been on antidepressants regularly since 2008, irregularly before, but had never stuck with a therapist for any extended period of time.) After six months, I hadn't really "figured things out" with regards to kids, so we broke up in July 2013. But I've been seeing the same therapist the whole time, for four and a half years now. It's kind of the longest relationship I've ever had with a woman. Of course, I pay her. But hey, it's better than nothing.

But more seriously, I honestly don't know where I'd be today if not for the enormous strides I've made in therapy over the last four years. I don't know if I ever would have stayed in school, stayed functional, stayed working toward my goals. I largely don't think of myself as depressed these days, something that I hadn't previously been able to say since like elementary school. I'm still vulnerable to it and still have to fight against it sometimes, but it doesn't dominate my life the way it used to. So something good has come out of all this.

Like, I often think that, as great and mature and fulfilling as my relationship with the ex was, it was all kind of predicated on the stupid choice two young 20-somethings made. It didn't matter to us that our stances on kids differed, because how could we have possibly known that we would fall in love, move in, and build a life together? We were just infatuated and enjoying ourselves. So maybe we both would have been better off had we never gotten together at all. Not had those experiences. Not had to make that ****ty choice four years later. She could have met the right guy and started a family sooner. And I would have been saved the last four years of regret and pain.

But is that really better. Would I be the person I am today, in the place I am, doing what I'm doing, invested in this new version of myself as I am, without all the steps I took along the way, all those steps I took with the ex, and all the steps I've taken since her. Seems unlikely.

But anyway I'm going to go find some ****ty time travel movie I can watch to give myself the opportunity to mull over decisions I can't possibly unmake.

[pchang]

Try doing something else for a bit. Is there anything that still holds some interest for you? Try doing that for bit. It might help free your mind of other things.

[Aeson]

Travel.

[Dinner]

Lori, there is a reason millions of men use the "**** on the wall" approach to dating. You try enough times and some of it sticks. It is a numbers game plain and simple. You ask one, if she rejects you, then you move on and ask another. In a club type situation many guys will proposition ten different girls before finding one who says yes.

[Lorizael]

Loud, cramped settings like clubs will never be where I meet women.

[Ming]

You are missing the point he is trying to make

[Lorizael]

Not really, because if traditional social settings are always going to be uncomfortable for me, my pool of women to choose from is going to be limited, which makes the shotgun approach less viable.

[Lorizael]

Anyway, time to see the therapist. Maybe I'll proposition her.

[Buster Crabbe's Uncle]

Don't proposition the rapist.

[Dinner]

Not really, because if traditional social settings are always going to be uncomfortable for me, my pool of women to choose from is going to be limited, which makes the shotgun approach less viable.

Yes, really. As Ming said, you are missing the point. I don't give a **** where you find the women to proposition, it is still a numbers game and you are not propositioning nearly enough to find success. Increase the number of girls you proposition and you will start to find success. Sure, your success rate may only be 1 in 10 but you will still get more *****. Fact.

There are tons of women who will say, yes, no matter how ****ed up, dysfunctional, or ackward a man is as long as he has all of his limbs and can hold a job. Seriously, if a guy like me who is, at last weight in 35lbs over weight can regulatmrly get ***** (often 10-15 years younger than me) then you sure as **** can also get *****. Get enough ***** and one of the girls will start to think you'd make a decent husband/boyfriend.

My recommendation is when you get there do not be commitment aphobic like I am but also don't marry the first chick who gives it up. Just my $0.02 from experience.

[Dinner]

Not really, because if traditional social settings are always going to be uncomfortable for me, my pool of women to choose from is going to be limited, which makes the shotgun approach less viable.

Bull****. Go to coffee shops, join meetup groups, join adults sports groups, join a ****ing gym, go outside and away from your computer, ****, join young professionals groups. Stop making excuses, get outside your shell, and just ****ing do it.

It would help if you would say "Hello, my name is Lori, what is yours?" **** or get off the pot, man. You can meet people if you try even if you don't go to the drunken mating tanks we cal night clubs. ****, just hang out at a bar and you will find women or go to the beach. I have found more lonely willing chicks there than any where else. The sexiest worlds in the English language are "Hi, my name is (insert your name here), what is your name?"

This isn't rocket science, bro.

[Lorizael]

This isn't rocket science, bro.

I'm aware, which is why it's so frustrating that I'm so bad at it. Like, the advice of "do something, ****head" is not exactly new to my ears. But no matter how much effort I've put into trying to branch out and be social (which is, after all, how I got involved in the writing group and met the ex), none of this stuff has ever become easy or comfortable for me. It is always a challenge.

And none of that deals with the fact that I'm till pining after my ex four years later.

And that problem won't be solved by me just getting some *****, as evidenced by me getting ***** last year and it all going to **** in part because of my hangups about my ex.

[ZEE]

Lori, I think it's time for soem AAHZ-Advice™. You will get the same ol stuff from the rest of Poly, but AAHZ is unique. I lived with 2 horrible diseases and survived to my 40's with a job, money in the bank, no criminal record, no education, my own place, and no ties to hold me back. How did AAHZ do this? I now share this knowledge with you...

AAHZ says this: why do you want to infect your life with a moody, grumpy, needy, destructive, greedy, stinky, emotional, vampiric, violent, domineering, time-consuming, angry, cheating, paranoid, gaslighting, mind-controlling, and horrible human being? Maybe it is just AAHZ because I AM dangerous. I enjoy my caged life. I am not getting eaten by "lions" and I am happy with my "toys." But if you enter my cage or step on me you will be killed. Very simple arrangement. AAHZ plays his video games, drinks his beer, listens to his music, and gives thanks to his friend Ba'al. In fact I am in the middle of a 2-week paid vacation that I earned and those are the only things I have done. I have only left the house twice, once to get beer, and yesterday to get groceries. Also learn to cook. Moar food, less expensive, and healthier. AAHZ lost 30 pounds of fat doing this and I STILL drink.

Forget the "system" or what you are "supposed" to do. Humans will destroy you.

[rah]

Don't regret decisions. It's a losing game. You don't know what would have happened if you had made different ones.
What if instead of breaking with your ex you did with your therapist. You might not have made it were you are today.

Don't look back, move forward. Actually getting where you are today is pretty damn great. Yes, be thankful.

[Bereta_Eder]

yOU know whgat I don't uderstand in lori?


doesn't he ever get angry?


angry as in fvck all of you


angry as in I'm going to get my share


angry as in

I'm going to fvck you all up for I am lori, You are worms I am god