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So the saga continues.
For those who know who I'm talking about, I think she's internet stalking me. When ever I get a new female friend on FB, she sends me a message asking me to hang out. Nothing bad in it, just find it weird, yet predictable. So what is the stalking part, aside activating when ever a possible date comes to life (and yes, I did go out with both of them, and one was really cool but unfortunately did not like me enough to go on a third date, second one was pretty, and said she was falling for me, and that was really scary because I hadn't known her more than 2 weeks at that point. Figured she is a bit unstable.)
So she wanted to hang, watch some science shows and cook food. Which is kind of cool, that's what we did when we were together. I actually did enjoy that part. So she asked me if we could do it again adn I said sure, and she cancelled on me as she was sick (she was, most definitely), and then she went on to tell me about a dream she had, where she pushed a man out of her balcony, went down and broke his neck. So I said, "wow, nightmare?", "No. He annoyed me", started to laugh, "you know I'm a psyhopathic murderous *****". To which I could only say, "yes darling, I know". And I had all the hair raise on my arms, it was not funny to me at all. In my mind she is flaunting it. I repeated, "so he did nothing to you, you killed him because he annoyed you? uh?" "Yeah and I was like crap, the cops will come, have to get rid of the evidence". And more laughs. She flaunted stuff like that with me when we were together, though not so straight up. Remember when I said I think she is dangerous and not joking? I still do. I do not think she is actually out there to go after me, not at all. But I think she has dark personality, and is dangerous. I've put so many pieces of the puzzle together that it's not even funny. I know she'd go ballistic if I told her about all the red flags I had and even if she is not like that, she is still very seriously ill. Of course she is a doctor at the psych ward. Of course.
I am glad to say she has no pull for me anymore. I just came back from a date that in my mind went well. I was a bit shy, did not even go for the kiss at the end, decided to ask her out again. I've no idea if she agrees or not, which is not necessarily a good sign. The good news is that I know I am not doomed. She is also intelligent (differently), and likes the same things (same authors, movies, we have the same taste), is a hiker, traveller, highly educated, tall and beautiful. She walks so damn fast I actually struggle to keep up, and I do like that. Determined stride. She's cool, high school teacher, with the sides of her head shaved, otherwise long and purple. Piercings, beautiful. Just to my liking. We went and saw Rogue One, bashed it during the drinks, and though I did not go for the kiss, I said I had lovely time and she said let's continue with text messages later on. I am an introvert, and so is she, at least a bit. So she could be into me. I do hope so. And she is.... NORMAL! Asked about my kids a lot. Something normal people do.
Important take-aways: 1) there are plenty of interesting women willing to date yours truly, and though tonight's date wants to go out again, I should not change a thing. 2) I should date normal women, there's good exciting and really bad exciting. Even when the bad exciting is a thrill, to not be afraid is good. 3) It might take a while but it's worth the wait. 4) I was heavily traumatised by the marriage, leading into insecurity that was not healthy. 5) Always trust your red flags and never go against it, tonight 0 flags were raised and it was good.
Yes... I guess tomorrow I'll know if we will have a second date, which should be more driven to see if there's romantic spark ahead. Tonight was more about getting to know and fun. I never go for the romantic angle the first time because I want to find out if we are compatible or not. For me it happens via common interests. A firm decision to keep it more unofficial to see if we can have fun first is important. I was getting to doubt if I can have fun on a date or not, or find women that are fun to be around with, who would still be normal. Turns out it's possible
For those who know who I'm talking about, I think she's internet stalking me. When ever I get a new female friend on FB, she sends me a message asking me to hang out. Nothing bad in it, just find it weird, yet predictable. So what is the stalking part, aside activating when ever a possible date comes to life (and yes, I did go out with both of them, and one was really cool but unfortunately did not like me enough to go on a third date, second one was pretty, and said she was falling for me, and that was really scary because I hadn't known her more than 2 weeks at that point. Figured she is a bit unstable.)
So she wanted to hang, watch some science shows and cook food. Which is kind of cool, that's what we did when we were together. I actually did enjoy that part. So she asked me if we could do it again adn I said sure, and she cancelled on me as she was sick (she was, most definitely), and then she went on to tell me about a dream she had, where she pushed a man out of her balcony, went down and broke his neck. So I said, "wow, nightmare?", "No. He annoyed me", started to laugh, "you know I'm a psyhopathic murderous *****". To which I could only say, "yes darling, I know". And I had all the hair raise on my arms, it was not funny to me at all. In my mind she is flaunting it. I repeated, "so he did nothing to you, you killed him because he annoyed you? uh?" "Yeah and I was like crap, the cops will come, have to get rid of the evidence". And more laughs. She flaunted stuff like that with me when we were together, though not so straight up. Remember when I said I think she is dangerous and not joking? I still do. I do not think she is actually out there to go after me, not at all. But I think she has dark personality, and is dangerous. I've put so many pieces of the puzzle together that it's not even funny. I know she'd go ballistic if I told her about all the red flags I had and even if she is not like that, she is still very seriously ill. Of course she is a doctor at the psych ward. Of course.
I am glad to say she has no pull for me anymore. I just came back from a date that in my mind went well. I was a bit shy, did not even go for the kiss at the end, decided to ask her out again. I've no idea if she agrees or not, which is not necessarily a good sign. The good news is that I know I am not doomed. She is also intelligent (differently), and likes the same things (same authors, movies, we have the same taste), is a hiker, traveller, highly educated, tall and beautiful. She walks so damn fast I actually struggle to keep up, and I do like that. Determined stride. She's cool, high school teacher, with the sides of her head shaved, otherwise long and purple. Piercings, beautiful. Just to my liking. We went and saw Rogue One, bashed it during the drinks, and though I did not go for the kiss, I said I had lovely time and she said let's continue with text messages later on. I am an introvert, and so is she, at least a bit. So she could be into me. I do hope so. And she is.... NORMAL! Asked about my kids a lot. Something normal people do.
Important take-aways: 1) there are plenty of interesting women willing to date yours truly, and though tonight's date wants to go out again, I should not change a thing. 2) I should date normal women, there's good exciting and really bad exciting. Even when the bad exciting is a thrill, to not be afraid is good. 3) It might take a while but it's worth the wait. 4) I was heavily traumatised by the marriage, leading into insecurity that was not healthy. 5) Always trust your red flags and never go against it, tonight 0 flags were raised and it was good.
Yes... I guess tomorrow I'll know if we will have a second date, which should be more driven to see if there's romantic spark ahead. Tonight was more about getting to know and fun. I never go for the romantic angle the first time because I want to find out if we are compatible or not. For me it happens via common interests. A firm decision to keep it more unofficial to see if we can have fun first is important. I was getting to doubt if I can have fun on a date or not, or find women that are fun to be around with, who would still be normal. Turns out it's possible
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