Lori only has one problem left.

[rah]

Unfortunately you won't know for sure until you've had one. As with many grand things in life, it sometimes requires a leap of faith.
No one can always predict the outcome.

[-Jrabbit]

Anyone who has hetero sex risks having children; no preventative measure is 100%. So even that is, as Rah says, a leap of faith.

The fact that you give a damn suggests to me that you would be a great dad.

[Sava]

Well, I also don't want to end up in another relationship that ends because I (find out I'm sure I)don't want children. Once has been painful enough.

Lots of women don't want children.

[Elok]

Anyone who has hetero sex risks having children; no preventative measure is 100%. So even that is, as Rah says, a leap of faith.

The fact that you give a damn suggests to me that you would be a great dad.

I've kept out of this thus far since I have literally no experience with breakups, but for the record, you do seem like you'd be at least respectable parent material, unless you absolutely hate children or something. Nobody's ever really "ready" for kids until they've passed through the fire.

[rah]

While I think he's just more scared to sign up for the life long commitment that children require, I agree that he seems like respectable parent material. But what the heck do i know.

[Lorizael]

Also, eventually having children after having broken up with the love of my life because I thought I didn't want children seems like a good way to make me regret my life choices.

[rah]

vs. never having children which could be the choice you regret even more.

Don't play those games. Move forward, never back.

[self biased]

Also, eventually having children after having broken up with the love of my life because I thought I didn't want children seems like a good way to make me regret my life choices.

my own personal experience tells me that is false. I'm lucky in that my ex wife has been cooperative, for the most part. This sounds like a scenario devised to keep you anxious over the prospect.

[Lorizael]

Well, anyway, children are not what I'm worried about right now. I need to stop fixating on my ex. Suggestions so far have been sex, drugs, and meditation. Any other thoughts? Rock and roll, perhaps?

[rah]

Life.

But based on your past posting history, I'd suggest another (new relationship gambit). The effort you put into planning your conquest seemed quite capable of being encompassing enough to distract you.

[-Jrabbit]

...and a little rock'n'roll wouldn't hurt.

[Kidlicious]

I mean yeah, but how much time? It's been two years.

Two years is nothing. Just get used to life like this. There's nothing much you can do. Well there is, but you won't do it, so just forget that there is anything you can do.

Congratulations on not being homeless this summer. Being homeless really sucks.

[Elok]

Also, eventually having children after having broken up with the love of my life because I thought I didn't want children seems like a good way to make me regret my life choices.

Deciding not to have children to avoid having to admit you were wrong about grounds for breakup years ago doesn't sound much healthier. I advise you discard the breakup as a factor one way or the other. You seem like good dad material to me; you're capable of understanding that other people have needs and wants which may at some points need to come before your own. Which is the single most important thing IMO.

Since you're currently single, that doesn't even matter, but keep it on the back burner. I was rather lukewarm on the subject of having kids; my wife comes from a larger family and wanted to have oodles. Two kids later, we both find I'm better at dealing with them, even though she's better at running a household in general. Enthusiasm is not necessarily an indicator of competence there.

You've mentioned the obvious coping factors, aside from religion which you don't do. Do you have a family member you're comfortable talking this stuff over with? Or some kind of social activity you can use to keep yourself busy and/or meet new people?

[N35t0r]

Also, it's normal to change over time. If, in 5 years, you decide that it might be OK to have kids, then it's still no use to look back to that breakup, since at that time that was how you felt.

[Lorizael]

You've mentioned the obvious coping factors, aside from religion which you don't do. Do you have a family member you're comfortable talking this stuff over with? Or some kind of social activity you can use to keep yourself busy and/or meet new people?

Family I'm comfortable talking over relationship stuff with? Man, no. Maybe that's bad, but that's part of why I come to poly with this stuff. I figure there's only so much I can pester the few friends I have.

As far as social stuff, this semester is tough. I get to class at 10 and get home from work at 9.