The Ashes: Let's get the party started

[No really I am Mobius]

I want a test in Cardiff so I can barrack for Australian again.

[Alexander's Horse]

Sod off

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

Ryan Harris has announced his retirement. Surprised he lasted this long, really. I expected him to break during the last Ashes series.

[Alexander's Horse]

honest toiler, a loss I think

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

He was excellent in the last Ashes. He was overshadowed by Midge, obviously, but he was in great form.

[Alexander's Horse]

Midge is always a question mark. Denis Lillee got his head on the right place after a long drift.

[Alexander's Horse]

Moby, I love you like a brother and you have the distinction of being the only Apolytoner to have ever stayed at my house in real life. I hope we can do that again some time, and thanks for not blowing my cover.

But a Cardiff test? Yet more evidence of perfidious Albion man

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

Ah, Joe Root. They were claiming him as the 2nd best batsman in the world right now (behind Smith), and I think you could make strong case for that claim.

In other news, Cook is still infuriating, Lyth is not up to the job, and Bell needs to be dropped.

[The Mad Monk]

check out the bogan vids

Bogans are the ones who destroy the Earth in Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, right?

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

Day 2!

Well, apart from heroics by Rogers, Australia's batting looks decidedly meh. Smith's got to be fuming at getting scalped by a spinner as limited as Moeen on a duvet of a pitch.

Speaking of Moeen, he's certainly the best number 8 I've ever seen for England. England's tail looks strong, ever if the top-order are being a bit crap.

[N35t0r]

Bogans are the ones who destroy the Earth in Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, right?

Vogons. Reknown for their poetry.

[Alexander's Horse]

bloody pitch and weather, why do the English do this?

it's okay I know

[Egbert]

I think they trying to get OUR Ashes.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

Day 3!

The figures don't really do justice to how shocking Watson was today. He really looked like he couldn't be bothered. It's lucky he was only conceding about 4 an over, because bowling at 75mph on a pitch like that meant he'd have died of old age before he took a wicket. It was embarrassing.

In other news- Bell just saved his test career. It might have been "only" 60, but there were some glorious strokes in there. Lyth still looks unconvincing, and I want to punch Cook.

And Starc gets a Victoria Cross. Clearly in substantial pain, but still belting down 90mph balls? Hero material. Good man.

[Alexander's Horse]

I've never understood why they select Watson. His record is abysmal for all the chances he has had. There must be some state politics in it. They are still talking about his potential ten years into his career.