Should personal attacks be allowed on Apolyton Off Topic?

[Kidlicious]

The thing that concerns me about the current "let it be" policy towards personal insults is that it effectively quashes any "real" threads being posted. As an example, last month my best friend died of brain cancer. There was no way in hell that I was going to start a "please share similar stories about loss and so on while I deal with this awfulness" thread on the subject because it would have been trolled to hell and back by Kidicious et al. Even with the [Civil] tag I wouldn't start a thread on the subject, because then I'd post in some stupid thread like "italian sausage vs. bratwurst" and all of a sudden Kidicious et al would chime in with something like "your friend deserved to die of cancer because you're an atheist" or whatever, because personal insults are a-ok in non-civil threads and I've just given some terrible people a lot of trolling ammunition. But, maybe most posters don't want a forum where people can post threads about their friends dying of brain cancer, in which case our current policy is the way to go.

[Elok]

But, maybe most posters don't want a forum where people can post threads about their friends dying of brain cancer, in which case our current policy is the way to go.

I'm okay with a Ban for Utter Dickery rule--or reviving the no going for friends/family rule. Though I generally just Ignore the kind of people I expect to do **** like that. Failing that, I don't think we're so callous as to fail to gather 'round and chew out somebody who says HA HA CANCER *** HAD IT COMING.

[Elok]

I don't know if that's true, Loin, I have posted threads about such things before and they were not **** upon, but I understand your reticence. By the way, I am sorry for your loss

Well, when I asked for prayers for my very ill nephew two or three years back, one poster accused me of trolling atheists and another made a snarky comment, after my nephew recovered, to the effect that prayer was useless. In both cases somebody else said Wow You're A Douchebag--I believe it was Guy both times, since he's a mensch--and nothing further came of it.

[ZEE]

I don't think a restriction on personal insults is really going to fix the problem, but I think we are also working with different ideas of what "the problem" is. For me, it's that almost all threads tend to be hijacked into playing stubby-arms tetherball with BK and Kid. Just wasting those two would solve the problem pretty neatly, but I understand that Aeson doesn't want to establish a bill-of-attainder precedent. So I think I'd prefer a "castle law" for threads; give people the right to kick thread****ters out, or rather ask for thread****ters to be booted. This contains much of the damage. It would also help if we put more effort into starting interesting threads instead of having the same few arguments.

Nice troll, Elok, even if you DID expect the mods to enforce something so ridiculous.

[Proteus_MST]

Well, when I asked for prayers for my very ill nephew two or three years back, one poster accused me of trolling atheists and another made a snarky comment, after my nephew recovered, to the effect that prayer was useless. In both cases somebody else said Wow You're A Douchebag--I believe it was Guy both times, since he's a mensch--and nothing further came of it.

Surely one of those things were the "be nice to posters and their family/friends" rule could be applied

[C0ckney]

I don't know if that's true, Loin, I have posted threads about such things before and they were not **** upon, but I understand your reticence. By the way, I am sorry for your loss

well put. i mean we like to throw poo at each other here, and there are precious few whose hands aren't brown, but in all seriousness i hope that everyone here leads a good, happy and fulfilling life. we should be able to look past whatever arguments and disagreements we have here and support each other, or at the very least not run salt in the wounds, when the serious difficulties and problems of life come the way of one of our members. this shouldn't be a question of rules, but one of basic decency and solidarity.

i'm sorry for your loss loinburger.

[rah]

Well, when I asked for prayers for my very ill nephew two or three years back, one poster accused me of trolling atheists and another made a snarky comment, after my nephew recovered, to the effect that prayer was useless. In both cases somebody else said Wow You're A Douchebag--I believe it was Guy both times, since he's a mensch--and nothing further came of it.

yeah douchebag move, BUT i'll be willing to bet that there also a considerable number of people that did express their support.

and sorry for your loss loinburger.

[Dinner]

I like bananas.

[Hauldren Collider]

well put. i mean we like to throw poo at each other here, and there are precious few whose hands aren't brown, but in all seriousness i hope that everyone here leads a good, happy and fulfilling life. we should be able to look past whatever arguments and disagreements we have here and support each other, or at the very least not run salt in the wounds, when the serious difficulties and problems of life come the way of one of our members. this shouldn't be a question of rules, but one of basic decency and solidarity.

i'm sorry for your loss loinburger.

Yes, I agree with this 100%.

[Sava]

Sorry for your loss Loin

[Aeson]

While there is close to an even split it seems between "topic and not the poster" and "anything goes", I would think we can get very close to unanimous that a thread like loin or Elok mentions should be kept civil. (With or without a tag.) Any dissenting opinions on that?

[Dinner]

It is hard to lose a friend especially someone who, I assume, was young like you are. Take time to remember the good times you had with him, try to honor his memory in some way, and take time to sort out your feelings. We will still be here if you decide to come back.

[-Jrabbit]

Frankly, this week turned into a fapfest on all sides and I'm just tired of it.
People are going to squirm around whatever rules you decide upon, Aeson. Everyone knows this.
It's really about whether or not we will return to having active moderation.
So screw your polls; just do what you want and get on with it.

FWIW, I did have an authentic interface with Imran a day or two ago; we disagreed without resolution and just let it go. It was kind of refreshing.

[Ben Kenobi]

Personal attack is one that the person feels is an attack.

Ad-hominem isn't relative. Play the ball not the man isn't that hard to do. If you're prefacing your statement with, "poster X is" chances are it's an ad hominem.

[Ben Kenobi]

Just wasting those two would solve the problem pretty neatly

Except... that it doesn't solve the problem. Bills of attainder - that's an interesting analogy though. The end result is that nobody wins. There's no Plantagenets anymore partially because of Bills of Attainder and the bloodletting that followed.

prayers for my very ill nephew two or three years back, one poster accused me of trolling atheists

Wasn't me, Elok.