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Did Justice Roberts even go to law school??

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  • Did Justice Roberts even go to law school??

    Oh, this is precious.

    April 28, 2015
    Supreme Court Justice Didn’t Know Marriage Can’t Legally Involve Churches or Religion
    With the first day of hearings taking place before the United States Supreme Court, an awkward happening occurred when Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts found out that both religion and religious establishments have nothing to do with the legality of same-sex marriage.

    The uncomfortable exchange began when Chief Justice Roberts asked famed gay rights lawyer Mary Bonauto why she believed that we should “force churches and religious leaders to preside over a homosexual wedding that, when taken as a whole, would offend their moral conscience.”

    Although she seemed taken aback, Bonauto replied with little to no hesitation.

    “Well, I’d cite the U.S. Constitution, previous Supreme Court decisions, and the Treaty of Tripoli.”

    Chief Justice Roberts then asked Bonauto to elaborate on her answer.

    Bonauto replied, “Thomas Jefferson clearly stated that the intent and function of the 1st Amendment was that the country could never establish any laws based on, or supporting, a specific religious view. He stated that ‘the government of the United States of America is not in any sense founded on the Christian Religion.'”

    She then continued by stating that, “This court has ruled in this manner time after time, and even the Treaty of Tripoli, which was unanimously approved by the U.S. Senate way back in 1797, clearly stated that our government was not established on any specific religious tradition. Not to mention, priests and churches will not be forced to marry anyone.”

    Bonauto concluded by accurately saying, “Indeed, it is a fact that all you need to get married would be another person, a trip to a courthouse, a witness, and a signed document. When people get married in a church, it isn’t recognized by the government without the legal documentation.”

    It was at this point that those in the court witnessed Chief Justice Roberts begin to whisper to fellow conservative Justices Scalia and Alito. Justice Roberts then became visibly red in the face at this point and some reports even state that you could audibly hear Roberts say, “Really!?”
    The above exchange did not actually happen, but it's hilarious.
    A lot of Republicans are not racist, but a lot of racists are Republican.

  • #2
    April 29, 2015
    "Yeah, that's right, I said I like to felch goats," said an irate MrFun. "I tickle their balls a bit, they do some bleating which counts as consent, and away we felch! Or away I felch, I should say, since the goat isn't doing the felching. Tried that once, got hemorrhoids. Also it can't tickle my balls with those hoof things its got, at least not without causing some potential damage. Not worth it."
    Warning: Dramatization, may not have happened
    <p style="font-size:1024px">HTML is disabled in signatures </p>

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    • #3
      So, aside from this not happening, exchanges like that aren't even all that uncommon in Supreme Court hearings. Justices often ask lawyers questions they already know the answers to.
      Click here if you're having trouble sleeping.
      "We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." - François de La Rochefoucauld

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      • #4
        There's no rule in Apolyton OT against sharing satire content, right?
        A lot of Republicans are not racist, but a lot of racists are Republican.

        Comment


        • #5
          Was your thread closed?

          Also, satirizing Roberts seems kind of silly, since he's one of the evil conservative justices most likely to vote pro-homo.
          Click here if you're having trouble sleeping.
          "We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." - François de La Rochefoucauld

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          • #6
            Yes, he just ignored most of it Like that Alabama Supreme Court Justice.
            Try http://wordforge.net/index.php for discussion and debate.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by MrFun View Post
              There's no rule in Apolyton OT against sharing satire content, right?
              There aren't any rules against posting dickgirls either, and yet I restrain myself
              <p style="font-size:1024px">HTML is disabled in signatures </p>

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              • #8
                I believe dickgirls do break the rules.
                Try http://wordforge.net/index.php for discussion and debate.

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                • #9
                  Nah, the mods said they banned me because the dickgirls I posted weren't well-proportioned.
                  Originally posted by Markos
                  C'mon, no dickgirl has breasts that big. Next time please make your dickgirls tasteful - maximum DD cups and 24-inch dicks
                  <p style="font-size:1024px">HTML is disabled in signatures </p>

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                  • #10
                    I am reasonably confident of two things:

                    1. Roberts has gone to law school.
                    2. MrFun has not.
                    1011 1100
                    Pyrebound--a free online serial fantasy novel

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                    • #11
                      3. Loin is kinky
                      “It is no use trying to 'see through' first principles. If you see through everything, then everything is transparent. But a wholly transparent world is an invisible world. To 'see through' all things is the same as not to see.”

                      ― C.S. Lewis, The Abolition of Man

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                      • #12
                        I said "reasonably confident," not "utterly certain."
                        1011 1100
                        Pyrebound--a free online serial fantasy novel

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          ‘We will not obey’: Christian leaders threaten civil disobedience if Supreme Court legalizes gay marriage

                          “We will not obey.”

                          That’s the blunt warning a group of prominent religious leaders is sending to the Supreme Court of the United States as they consider same-sex marriage.

                          “We respectfully warn the Supreme Court not to cross that line,” read a document titled, Pledge in Solidarity to Defend Marriage. “We stand united together in defense of marriage. Make no mistake about our resolve.”

                          “While there are many things we can endure, redefining marriage is so fundamental to the natural order and the common good that this is the line we must draw and one we cannot and will not cross,” the pledge states.

                          The signees are a who’s who of religious leaders including former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, former U.S. Senator Rick Santorum, National Religious Broadcasters president Jerry Johnson, Pastor John Hagee, and Franklin Graham, president and CEO of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association and Samaritan’s Purse.

                          The pledge was co-drafted by Deacon Keith Fournier, a Catholic deacon, and Mat Staver, the founder of Liberty Counsel. Also involved in the document were Rick Scarborough, the president of Vision America Action and James Dobson, the founder of Family Talk Radio.

                          “We’re sending a warning to the Supreme Court and frankly any court that crosses the line on the issue of marriage,” Staver told me.

                          He said that once same-sex marriage is elevated to the level of protected status – it will transform the face of society and will result in the “beginning of the end of Western Civilization.”

                          “You are essentially saying that boys and girls don’t need moms and dads – that moms and dads are irrelevant,” Staver said. “Gender becomes pointless when government adopts same-sex marriage. It creates a genderless relationship out of a very gender-specific relationship. It says that it doesn’t matter and that two moms or two dads are absolutely equivalent to a mom and a dad.”

                          WATCH: Todd Starnes talks about religious freedom victory in Ky.

                          Dobson said the legalization of same-sex marriage could fracture the nation.

                          “The institution of marriage is fundamental and it must be defended,” he told me. “It’s the foundation for the entire culture. It’s been in existence for 5,000 years. If you weaken it or if you undermine it – the entire superstructure can come down. We see it as that important.”

                          And that means the possibility of Christians – people of faith – engaging in acts of civil disobedience.

                          “Yes, I’m talking about civil disobedience,” Staver said. “I’m talking about resistance and I’m talking about peaceful resistance against unjust laws and unjust rulings.”

                          That’s quite a shocking statement. So I asked Mr. Staver to clarify his remarks.

                          “I’m calling for people to not recognize the legitimacy of that ruling because it’s not grounded in the Rule of Law,” he told me. “They need to resist that ruling in every way possible. In a peaceful way – they need to resist it as much as Martin Luther King, Jr. resisted unjust laws in his time.”

                          Scarborough said the pledge was meant to be forthright and clear.

                          “We’re facing a real Constitutional crisis if the Supreme Court rules adversely from our perspective on same-sex marriage,” he told me. For me there’s no option. I’m going to choose to serve the Lord. And I think that thousands of other pastors will take that position and hundreds of thousands – if not millions of Christians.”

                          Scarborough is urging pastors across the nation to sign the pledge.

                          He referenced the “outrageous penalties” being assessed against people of faith simply because they don’t want to participate in a same-sex union.

                          An Oregon bakery is facing a $135,000 fine for refusing to make a cake for a lesbian wedding and a Washington State florist faces fines for refusing to participate in a gay wedding.

                          “Christians are being declared the lawbreakers when we are simply living by what we have always believed, and by a set of laws that the culture historically has agreed to,” he said. “Right now the courts are changing the playing field and declaring that what the natural eye can see and natural law reveals is not truth. ... What will we do, and how will we respond?”

                          Dobson said there’s no doubt that LGBT activists are targeting Christian business owners.

                          “For about 50 years the homosexual community has had as its goal to change the culture, to change the ideology and if necessary – to force people who don’t agree by use of the courts,” Dobson told me. “I think there’s a collision here and we can all see it and where it’s going to go is anybody’s guess – but it is serious.”

                          To be clear – the men and women who courageously signed this pledge did so knowing the hell storm that is about to be unleashed on them – and their families.

                          “We have no choice,” Staver told me. “We cannot compromise our clear biblical convictions, our religious convictions.


                          What does "civil disobedience" mean here aside from getting fined for not baking cakes?

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                          • #14
                            I really don't get Mr. Fun's complaint about Justice Roberts.
                            Scouse Git (2) La Fayette Adam Smith Solomwi and Loinburger will not be forgotten.
                            "Remember the night we broke the windows in this old house? This is what I wished for..."
                            2015 APOLYTON FANTASY FOOTBALL CHAMPION!

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                            • #15
                              aside from getting fined for not baking cakes?
                              We're talking fines of 135 THOUSAND for one cake, which is ridiculously disproportionate. Their money was refunded. I'm sure they won't have a problem finding another vendor.
                              Scouse Git (2) La Fayette Adam Smith Solomwi and Loinburger will not be forgotten.
                              "Remember the night we broke the windows in this old house? This is what I wished for..."
                              2015 APOLYTON FANTASY FOOTBALL CHAMPION!

                              Comment

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