Let me know if I'm the one who messed up

[Sava]

yes

that's what makes them slaves

[Dr Strangelove]

You're a slave master.
Maybe that's what makes them grumpy.

What exactly is your disability?

[Sava]

You're a slave master.
Maybe that's what makes them grumpy.

What exactly is your disability?

depression, anxiety, ptsd, suicidal ideation, and a seizure disorder

[Jon Miller]

depression, anxiety, ptsd, suicidal ideation, and a seizure disorder

Some of those would go away if you had direction. I am not meaning to be trite, I know it is difficult. I was serious about exploring non-standard approaches like Aeson's.

JM

[Sava]

Some of those would go away if you had direction.

They didn't before. In fact, the daily/normal stress that most people deal with causes me to shut down. "Direction" tends to make things worse because I never feel any feeling of accomplishment or fulfillment... only disappointment when things don't work out.

If the answer were simple, I would have found it by now.

But I appreciate the concern/help.

[Jon Miller]

It might be that any direction does not suite you, that is what I meant by exploring non-standard approaches like Aeson's (which in a manner is finding a specific direction).

Have you ever tried something like making a pack (with the advice of experts) and getting dropped off at a remote mountain location and making your way out over the course of days?

There are many things that you can find to drive you, daily/normal stress is not a particularly good one for many people. For those people, giving up is pretty much the worst approach.

JM

[Sava]

Ah. I see. I would agree with that.

However, I don't know about any of that, so it doesn't help me much. I have a difficult time with planning. Effective strategies (for me) have always included lack of structure... or allow me to create my own structure.

[rah]

Don't you do all those things when you play video games? Planning and strategies.

[Sava]

Don't you do all those things when you play video games? Planning and strategies.

uhm

I will spend 8 hours in a row playing GTA4 with a modded super Hummer... just crashing into things aimlessly

[rah]

Ok then, nevermind.

[Sava]

sometimes, in minecraft, i will plan things


but it is usually just some sort of machine to kill farm animals

[rah]

I don't know, it seems most games I played required some type of planning, if not just rote memorization of a series of moves. But you had to discover the patterns which is a form of it.

[Sava]

well

if i could make a life plan the way i make a video game plan, execute it, and see instant results...

then yeah, it might be easier for me

life plans tend to be more like... "go to school, graduate, cross your fingers, hope for job"

....

while balancing a shit-ton of debt

plus, "winning" at that plan just puts me firmly in the rat race... with tons of other people more qualified, harder working, and motivated than me... who don't have a 16 year hole in their resume

my only hope for making money is through some sort of business operation

just gotta wait for legal weed, i suppose

[Jon Miller]

Or move to Washington or Colorado or Oregon.

JM

[Sava]

which is an option...

i just couldn't/don't want to do it alone