Still alive

[notyoueither]

Sorry and glad at the same time to hear it Pekka. The scales dropped from your eyes

Here's hoping you renewed health on the hopeful news, and a love who deserves you, you magnificant single man you! Supercitizen doesn't walk into women, women walk into you!

[notyoueither]

Now win the last fight by denying her anything. She can only poison the kids through talk, but you can always redeem with actions.
When the kids grow and get smarter, they'll see the difference.

Listen to these words, Pekka. They are wise.

Actions always speak louder than words.

[C0ckney]

great news pekka

[Pekka]

I'm in the process of denying her everything.

She was cheating on me, she left me alone to die, didn't care at all, so now I filed for a divorce (alone, so I got their first, some advantage!), and she wrote me a letter (before that) about her secret double life and hwo she wants to continue doing it, and how she might be a narcissist. Well I KNOW she is, not a borderline, but hardcore narcissist. And that is the reason I'm leaving her. That, plus the cheating.

I think she has been mesmerised by her superiority so much, that she doesn't understand she is mediocre, really. I told her she doesn't get the pension because I'm divorcing her right now, she doesn't get the house either, because we owe my dad 100k, so even if I don't pay my share in case I die, she stilla s to pay hers. And that we'll mak sure if she doesn't pay, there will be interest, there will be collection agencies really soon after her. So she better be ready for that.

That if she does not play nice with the kids, I'll just reveal it all what she has done (playing dirty). She has already started to paly dirty, but she only hurts the kids and herself. I told her that I love our kids more than I hate what she did to us.

A friend told me that I should just keep doing what I do, have a good thing going on and the kids will eventually enjoy it. I know they will, because they love me. They love their mom as well and that's good. I have no ill will or reason to crush her.

She just won't get anything.

Excpet bad karma.

This is an opportubnity for me as well. I'm getting out of an abusive relationship (I realised few days ago I''ve been a victim for a long time... ), I'm on the free market again, so maybe I'll find a nice woman to be with. I'm not the hottest ticket around if I tell I have cancer but then again I'm a real person, I think I'm a good man, I have my heart in the right place and I've got a good story already. And I've got two lovely children, I think they are a plus if I should get a new relationship, because I'm not interested in women who can't handle children anyway. They can have their own children. In fact I find it sexier that a woman has kids, it speaks volumes that they have character, they know what hard work is. So if they are still sane, I'm interested!

[Pekka]

Am I in danger?

Holy ****!

I read the ltter she wrote to me just now with thought.

She ACTUALYL suggested that I should let her continue her secret relationship so she can have more energy, be happier and support me better.as a result.

Also, she could then handle my death better, and what's even more, I could meet the new "father" before I die. And the kids could meet their new father as well so it wouldnot be a shock to them.

WHAT THE ****?!?!?!?!?

She was SERIOUS about that. And that this solution is actually best for everyone, she would be happy, and I would get better support and kids would know their new father so they could handle my death better.

Did I mention this new "father" is a cheater with family and kids???

again, WHAT THE ****???

Am I in danger? I'm getting weird vibes here...

[Pekka]

Oh crap, I'm not sure if she is a narcissist evne, maybe a real sociopath... or that man has to be a sociopath. I'm actually scared.

[-Jrabbit]

I doubt there is any physical danger, Pekka.

The message I get is that she still believes that she can bend you to her will. She has not yet figured out that her days of controlling you and abusing your trust are over.

[DaShi]

I'd worry about physical danger, if she has a history of violence or cruelty (not just narcissism and neglect, but an actual desire to cause harm to you or others). Otherwise, she'll just continue to establish the delusion that she is the victim here, but be powerless to do anything about it but lie and complain.

[Ben Kenobi]

The message I get is that she still believes that she can bend you to her will. She has not yet figured out that her days of controlling you and abusing your trust are over.

So what happens when the music stops?

[Pekka]

So what happens when the music stops?

My paranoid thoughts exactly. She's been wearing her mask of sanity for YEARS, now it's slipping off.

I talked ot my mom all through last night and she was worried, she was present when she started freaking out yesterday. I mean she really didn't even go full ****** then, it was only an epilogue into her madness. But that was enough to convince my mom something is seriously wrong. Because she could not even hold up an argument or discussion, she just went off. Just bananans, made absolutely no sense.

So today she took MY car to car service, and I did something unethical but at this poitn I'm worried about our safety so I dont' care. I read her diary. a bit...

It was nothing but madness. Aribtrary stuff, random, it was as if she was having a conversation with someone, except that it was a diary and a monologue. Difficult to describe actually.. but it was so weird it was difficult to follow (what's going on here).... lke what whas she thinking writing it. Then suddenly the text became vert different size and looking, her hand writing changed totally, and she had written some very personal stuff (obviously), like how lonely she is, how the only people she meets are the grocery store clerks. Really really sad stuff.

I was thinking how it looked like she had no sense of self. It was so random and weird... the whole text. It didn't seem like textc from a narcissist. THEN SUDDENLY, I noticed she had put a date on it, 2009... aww crap, that's years ago, the year we met

I realised, she might have LOTS of problem she's been hiding from me. Like she has no "self" what so ever. It really would explain a lot. Almost everything actually. And now I feel bad for her.. she wrote to my bday card that sheis sorry, that I'm a great father and thanking me for keeping her up for all these years. Now that all makes sense. She has defnied herself through me all these years. And now she does it through some other man and probably our kids.

I do NOT know how to handle this. LIke.. no one knows this stuff, including her therapists. She might crumble and implode if this get known. I don't know what to do MY wife is really really really sick Has been for many years....

[Pekka]

I've been naughty and shown her letter to me for some selected people to ask what they think. Every single one has been shocked to see it, can't believe their eyes basicall "it burns, it burns!" There's absolutely no doubt she is ill.

[kentonio]

If you're genuinely worried that she might be mentally unstable, then it might be worth discretely speaking to a professional. She is alone with your children sometimes after all.

[Pekka]

If you're genuinely worried that she might be mentally unstable, then it might be worth discretely speaking to a professional. She is alone with your children sometimes after all.

That's just the start... she is also child protection worker, (insane, liar, abuser), and has told me she will play dirty, using the kids.

The kids are alerady hurting, it really sucks.

I'm talking to professionals, but unfortunately they're all state social workers, who always side with the mother first. So we'll see.. but at least lots of people know the truth. Then again that doesn't do much for me or my kids if she takes them and abuses them some more. Get this: she actually CAN take the kids for 20 days a month, and I get 4 days. I don't know if I can take that. In what world of justice do you cheat your husband, leave him for the guy you cheated with (admit it all) AND take the kids? WTF?!?!

[rah]

Get this: she actually CAN take the kids for 20 days a month, and I get 4 days.

Are the months only 24 days over there?

[The Mad Monk]

They are released into the wild for the other six.