More career advice for Elok

[Elok]

So, I've been a CCENT for about two months now (passed the test during Lent). I'm pretty sure I can pass the CCNA, since that's just a second test of the same general type I've already passed, only with fewer topics. Studying for it now, hope to take the thing before the end of June, luck permitting. But I keep looking up CCNA jobs (on Indeed, Craigslist, or wherever) and finding listings like:

Network Such-and-Such

Requirements:

-Bachelor's in a related field
-At least three years' experience
-Top Secret Security clearance
-CompTIA certification desirable
-(eight other certs I've never heard of) desirable/required
-CCENT/CCNA/CCNP/CCIE, etc. desirable

I'm not kidding about the last one; basically they're saying, "oh yeah, it would help if you know what a router is. Or if you know enough to build one from copper wires and gum wrappers in two minutes at gunpoint, then configure it to run eight routing protocols with your eyes closed. Or, y'know, anywhere in between. Whatever." And that's in addition to all the other stuff.

Is this for real? If you're in this field, do you have any idea how I get something actually entry-level? I'm willing to start low for a miserable salary, relocate, and/or do most anything else short of literal oral sex. Is there a hidden place to look for piddly packet-monkey stuff like that?

(Yeah, I'm most just *****ing here)

[Lorizael]

I have a friend who's pretty knowledgeable about network such-and-such stuff. I'll ask him if he knows how to get into the industry.

[Elok]

That would be lovely, thanks.

[self biased]

I have TS clearance, but sadly, it's pretty compartmentalized.

[pchang]

Bump so I don't forget this one.

[Felch]

I'm not kidding about the last one; basically they're saying, "oh yeah, it would help if you know what a router is. Or if you know enough to build one from copper wires and gum wrappers in two minutes at gunpoint, then configure it to run eight routing protocols with your eyes closed. Or, y'know, anywhere in between. Whatever." And that's in addition to all the other stuff.

Is this for real? If you're in this field, do you have any idea how I get something actually entry-level? I'm willing to start low for a miserable salary, relocate, and/or do most anything else short of literal oral sex. Is there a hidden place to look for piddly packet-monkey stuff like that?

No ****ing kidding. Every job wants three years of experience. Maybe find a crooked friend willing to say over the phone that he's had you on his payroll as network admin for five years, but had to let you go because his business went south.

[loinburger]

A trick I used when I was looking for entry-level positions was to include my part-time jobs on my resume as though they were full-time jobs - I don't mean lie and say that you were a full-time fart analyst or whatever when in fact you were only a part-time fart analyst, I mean just say that you were a fart analyst, full stop. If asked, explain that this was a part-time job, but by this point you've hopefully gotten past the HR screeners and gotten a job interview, so they'll be so taken by your boyish charm or whatever that they'll ignore the fact that your "two years" of experience actually only translates to about three months of experience or whatever. (In my case, I worked for two years at the university's computer lab for about 5-10 hours a week; on my resume this was "2000-2002: computer lab butt nugget" or whatever job title I had - no value added to making that "part-time computer lab butt nugget".)

[loinburger]

Also, do volunteer work - set up wireless routers for local churches or whatever. "2014-2015 - self-employed router technician [who was never actually paid anything because it was all volunteer work]".

[pchang]

Loinburger's advice is actually pretty decent.

[al hail bobo]

I have a friend who's pretty knowledgeable about network such-and-such stuff. I'll ask him if he knows how to get into the industry.

So to answer your question, bull**** your experience until you actually have it. Here was how I got into IT.

Worked sales at Bestbuy
Knew **** about computers, hired to geeksquad
Showed I knew more than everyone rose to top
Circuit city hired me from bestbuy to manage their competitor
Left CC to work at a managed service provider(MSP) (internship) (outsourced IT company)
Went to college (while fun, this furthered my career in no way)
While in college, had summer job at another MSP
Graduated, jobless for half a year(this is 2011 now), no response from any craigslist ads (my primary means of finding jobs and most successful method)
Did a google search for something computer related (its been awhile but like "computer repair" or "managed services") and just started cold calling asking if they were hiring. Got a hit and got hired
Left that job and moved 2013, coworker from previous company called me said his place was hiring, currently there.

So to directly answer your question, don't offer more info than you need to as loinburger said. You built some computers from a friend when you were 16 and 17? Got rid of some viruses when you were 18 and 19? Setup your friends 5 computer network at 20? Guess what, "I have 5 years of IT experience" is not a lie. Went to college and did something vaguely computer related? tack that on too.

As someone in IT, the majority of people in IT are dip****s when it comes to computers. If you aren't a dip**** and can show up on time, you will probably be fine. (Btw my only cert is a net+ which means nothing)

If you are in any major city, it shouldn't be too hard to find something but I would expect to start at helpdesk and when they realize you can do other stuff you will get promoted. (First job after college I got stuck with "help desk level 1" even though I could sleep while doing that job. At any good company management will quickly see your skills and exploit them giving you experience that you can put on your resume.

So I would jump on Craigslist and look for helpdesk entry level positions which major city are you near? (sorry for the word vomit, trying to do 100 things at work) Ask any questions you have?

(Lorizael if I don't respond contact me and remind me, I havent visited poly in many years)

[Ben Kenobi]

Loin and Felch speak the entire truth.

I've been a CCENT for about two months now (passed the test during Lent).

Elok!

I believe a congratulations is in order! Well done! I think I argued back then it was just a matter of trying till you passed it. Very happy you persisted and broke through.

Remember - the person you have to make look smart is whomever you report directly. Not the HR managers. They put 3 years on because it's easier than learning how to do their job. It's just a number if you can do the work, then like they said, get a friend to be a good reference for you and blow past them. If you're making money for the direct report you'll be fine. Show up on time and bust your hump out of the gate.

[Elok]

AHB: I am near, uh . . . Baltimore, sort of. As the crow flies. I'm on the Eastern Shore, so I'm near nothing you could honestly call major. Planning on moving to whatever job I get, since the only "tech" jobs out here involve farm or slaughterhouse equipment.

Nor do I have anything you could even stretch to call IT experience. I'm an English major who bounced around, realized his prospects sucked, and took classes to get real skills. I have good general intelligence, at least, and unlike most of my classmates I passed the classes without googling anything--yes, I realize googling is a key tech guy skill, that's just my way of saying I actually learned stuff--but before that you have to go back to a "this is a computer" class at community college circa 2004, and before that to high school in the nineties where I aced a BASIC class, and before that to teaching myself rudimentary HTML so I could build some really ugly Geocities look-at-me pages.

I guess I've helped my dad with a few things, but he has the sort of problems old people have with technology. Like the other day, where his new computer's browser was (for some reason) trying to use 127.0.0.1 as a proxy server. I haven't the foggiest idea how the hell that even happened, but it could have been easily fixed by anyone who wasn't an easily enraged old man. Fumble around with Firefox settings and voila, problem solved.

So, not great. But I could probably land helpdesk somewhere, yeah. I should probably ask some of the tech folks at church if they have any volunteer opportunities I could exploit for real-life EXP farming; I at least have the fortune of going to church in the middle of a huge technocrat corridor. I've already had one guy tell me he'd keep an eye out for any customers who need switches programmed--he said it's a rare thing, but it happens now and then. Hasn't happened yet. I'll ask the deacon next, he's going for CCNP.

Thanks for the advice, everyone. I'll ruminate over just how far I can stretch the truth without flop-sweating at the interview. I did work with actual routers and switches during classes, in addition to packet tracer; should I call that six months' hands-on experience, or something?

[Buster Crabbe's Uncle]

Sorta depends on if you had some specific duties with a job title, doesn't it?

[regexcellent]

Minor point, using localhost as a proxy is not surprising at all and I do it all the time; it's the typical way to set up a SOCKS proxy through an ssh tunnel for instance.

[Elok]

Wait, what's the point in talking to yourself as a proxy? That's like if I used myself as a reference for a job interview.