Please don't take this too seriously.

[Lorizael]

Sounds like your sympathies are more with B5 to begin with.

(though you're probably attempting to be ironic)

I would never attempt to be ironic. If I wanted to be ironic, I would be ironic. Oh, I would be ironic.

[self biased]

B5 fans and DS9 fans are mortal enemies. If I watch both, I'll have an identity crisis.

maybe you could use a good identity crisis.

[Elok]

Okay, Lori, I get that you're in a bit of a trough here (to put it very mildly). I think you're still beating up on yourself for the morbid pleasure of it, but there's not a whole lot we can do to stop you, so . . . yeah. In miserable times like this, I'd say it's generally advisable to find some way to make your life more meaningful for yourself. You can't have the girl back, okay. But there are other aspects of life to focus on. I know you have interests other than self-loathing; pursue them. Even if you don't feel like it, make yourself pursue them. I think even spending more time on here is healthier than watching old TV shows while punching yourself in the gonads. The TV shows would be okay if you left out the gonad-punching, but I don't believe you can.

[Elok]

Also, I get the feeling that you're spending too much time alone. You have family and/or friends in the area. Failing that, you have acquaintances you can awkwardly try to transition to friendship with. Meet up with them. If that fails, you will at least have something new to gonad-punch over. All this is assuming you're still on your depression meds. If not, take your ****ing meds, you stupid tosser.

Love,
Elok

[Lorizael]

I really hate that I have to take a daily cocktail of pills just to keep from wanting to kill myself. I'd say more, but I'm on my phone now and don't have the energy for a thoughtful response to what you've said.

[self biased]

And that is probably the most insidious aspect of being depressed... :brohugs:

[Lorizael]

Blarg. I had a long thing typed out about the current state of my meds. Suffice it to say, my psychiatrist would not be pleased with me, but I'm not not taking my meds.

[Elok]

Then you are much like a paraplegic who throws away his wheelchair to drag his limp legs along the ground, then complains about arm soreness. OF COURSE YOU FEEL ****TY. TAKE YOUR ****ING MEDS OR WE WILL DRAW AND QUARTER YOU.

[Lorizael]

A more precise (and convoluted!) analogy is that my wheelchair breaks down every month and needs to be repaired, but last month the repair shop told me they were out of the parts I need and that it would be awhile before new parts came in. Then I had to go around without my wheelchair, which made getting back to the repair shop kind of difficult once the parts did come in.

[Elok]

Okay, you lost me halfway through that analogy, but seriously, get your head chemicals rebalanced or there is not a damn thing I, sb, or anyone else on this earth can do to make you feel good about yourself. Right now your mental state is such that, if Emma Stone were to stride into your apartment naked, rip your clothes off, shove you onto your bed and lovingly feed you bits of cheesecake with her mouth before riding you to exhaustion, your first thought after she left would be, "I should have talked more. She probably thinks I'm weird now. Oh, maaaan!"

So please talk to your shrink ASAP, dammit.

[Elok]

And until the meds come in, get out of your (can't think of a profanity strong enough to go here) apartment in the company of friends, before you turn into Gollum.

[self biased]

elok, i salute you.

[Lorizael]

Every couple of weeks I go to the grocery store to stock up on Mountain Dew, microwaveable dinners, and ice cream. Ben & Jerry's Strawberry Cheesecake is one of about a half dozen flavors I rotate through. Mm cheesecake. The only downside to B&J's ice cream (besides the cost) is that they don't use any GMO products. That makes me sad.

[Sava]

i made a bong out of a listerine bottle

[DaShi]

Every couple of weeks I go to the grocery store to stock up on Mountain Dew, microwaveable dinners, and ice cream. Ben & Jerry's Strawberry Cheesecake is one of about a half dozen flavors I rotate through. Mm cheesecake. The only downside to B&J's ice cream (besides the cost) is that they don't use any GMO products. That makes me sad.

You need a project to keep yourself occupied. May I suggest Killdozer MkII?