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Houses are way too much work - my brother and dad spend all of their free time on yard work. At least in my dad's case he gets to spend a lot of time burning brush and cutting **** up with a chainsaw, but my brother spends his time mulching and other horrible **** like that and then he tries to con me into helping.
I briefly owned a house and resolved not to let it eat up my free time, and it wasn't long until the goddamned homeowners association started nagging me to mow my lawn.
I briefly owned a house and resolved not to let it eat up my free time, and it wasn't long until the goddamned homeowners association started nagging me to mow my lawn.
Everyone thinks a tennis court gives you the country club experience at home, WELL THEY ARE LYING. 
My country club does not have Mexicans lounging around at 4PM insisting that a single Dyson between the three of them is sufficient to clean a carpet court in less than four hours, even though they have been over since 9 and are now wading in your swimming pool, pissing like children. Unlike my jaded disgusting-looking neighbors, who I could have sworn were Arabs, my country club doesn't call the police when I set fire to crosses on their grass courts, perhaps because it's a time-honored tradition and a well-known bonding experience among like minded friends. Also, all the hot girls feel safer at the club, and the line "Want to come over and play on my court" does not work even as well as "Want to come over to my dorm and watch a movie" did when you were 18. This may be more my problem but I guarantee you I have sex on a regular basis, so the problem is either my delivery of that particular line or the cross burning or the court itself?
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