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Anyone need an engagement ring?

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  • Anyone need an engagement ring?

    Beautiful 1.24 Ct Princess Cut Diamond Engagement Ring - $3900 (Kansas City)
    image 1 image 2
    Up for sale is a beautiful princess cut 1.24 carat diamond ring. This ring will make your fiancee's friends go ape **** over how small and crappy their Walmart engagement ring looks compared to this one. I paid $5500 for it. I only want $3900 or will trade for something of equal value that I can use to pick up hot chicks with. No rusty camaros. Seriously. This ring comes with a warning. It will make your life great at first. You will get a lot more sex and maybe some of the dirty **** style sex you've been wanting to try but didn't know how to ask. Once you move in with the ring, it will turn into a total heartless, self loving, uncaring *****. You will be blamed for it, but it won't be your fault. You will make it breakfast in bed and keep the lawn mowed. The ring will be lying in bed *****ing because the mower is loud. You will take the ring on nice vacations where it will dress up in a hot mini skirt and those tall boots and eat great food and drink lots of expensive drinks, but at the end of the night, the ring will have a headache. The ring will also begin to have a period three weeks a month. I know, I don't get it either, but it's true. You will build the ring a half a million dollar house complete with a bar and home theater. The ring will wait until you are gone, then throw a party for a bunch of other rings that come over and spill wine on your ****. The ring will make you late for everything staring at its aging old ass in the mirror. Just when you are beat down and have no self confidence, the ring will stay out late with someone else's ring. They will talk about how ****ty they have it living in a nice home with a caring, responsible, sexless partner then laugh and touch each others junk. Email me if you would like this ring to be a part of your life. I would like it out of mine. It comes with both a yellow gold or white gold band. Oh yeah, it is indecisive too. Good luck and best wishes!
    P.S. I don't want to trade for anything. I could use the cash to get a hooker. A really good hooker. If I can't go through with the hooker thing, I might use it to buy back some self respect. Don't they sell that at Costco? Maybe Kirkland brand self respect. I'll stick with the hooker. I would trade for a Harley. I think chicks like Harleys. Or a GTO. Not one of the new crappy looking GTO's. The old ones. The ones that were made when satan was born as a woman.

    I have the International Gemmological Information card (IGI) that comes with. It has a photo of the ring and the specifics....Color: Colorless(F), ClarityI(1) Pol/SYM Good/Good It shows replacement value at $6260 as of 12/13/2002.

    Key words: *****, diamond engagement ring, misery, princess cut, princess wife, wedding, glad I didn't buy her fake ****, white gold, cheater, yellow gold


    No, I did not steal that from somebody on Something Awful.

  • #2
    “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
    - John 13:34-35 (NRSV)

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    • #3
      Kidicious?
      To us, it is the BEAST.

      Comment


      • #4
        Sometimes the truth might hurt but it is still the truth.
        Try http://wordforge.net/index.php for discussion and debate.

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        • #5
          Kidicious?
          It sure sounds like him, doesn't it?
          Scouse Git (2) La Fayette Adam Smith Solomwi and Loinburger will not be forgotten.
          "Remember the night we broke the windows in this old house? This is what I wished for..."
          2015 APOLYTON FANTASY FOOTBALL CHAMPION!

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          • #6
            It's too well written. Also I don't think he can afford that.

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            • #7
              If there is no sound in space, how come you can hear the lasers?
              ){ :|:& };:

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