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I'm so screwed!!!!!!!

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  • I'm so screwed!!!!!!!

    Got this totally believable and obviously legitimate email in my spam folder:

    Anti-Terrorist and Monetary Crimes Division
    Fbi Headquarters In Washington, D.C.
    Federal Bureau Of Investigation
    J. Edgar Hoover Building
    935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, D.C. 20535-0001 Website: www.fbi.gov


    Attention, this is the final warning you are going to receive from me do you get me?

    I hope youre understand how many times this message has been sent to you?.

    We have warned you so many times and you have decided to ignore our e-mails or because you believe we have not been instructed to get you arrested, and today if you
    fail to respond back to us with the payment then, we would first send a letter to the mayor of the city where you reside and direct them to close your bank account
    until you have been jailed and all your properties will be confiscated by the fbi. We would also send a letter to the company/agency that you are working for so that
    they could get you fired until we are through with our investigations because a suspect is not suppose to be working for the government or any private organization.

    Your id which we have in our database been sent to all the crimes agencies in America for them to inset you in their website as an internet fraudsters and to warn
    people from having any deals with you. This would have been solved all this while if you had gotten the certificate signed, endorsed and stamped as you where
    instructed in the e-mail below.this is the federal bureau of investigation (fbi) am writing in response to the e-mail you sent to us and am using this medium to
    inform you that there is no more time left to waste because you have been given from the 3rd of January. As stated earlier to have the document endorsed, signed and stamped without failure and you must adhere to this directives to avoid you blaming yourself at last when we must have arrested and jailed you for life and all your
    properties confiscated.

    You failed to comply with our directives and that was the reason why we didn't hear from you on the 3rd as our director has already been notified about you get the
    process completed yesterday and right now the warrant of arrest has been signed against you and it will be carried out in the next 48hours as strictly signed by the
    fbi director. We have investigated and found out that you didn't have any idea when the fraudulent deal was committed with your information's/identity and right now if

    you id is placed on our website as a wanted person, i believe you know that it will be a shame to you and your entire family because after then it will be announce in
    all the local channels that you are wanted by the fbi. As a good Christian and a honest man, I decided to see how i could be of help to you because i would not be happy to see you end up in jail and all your properties confiscated all because your information's was used to carry out a fraudulent transactions, i called the efcc and they directed me to a private attorney who could help you get the process done and he stated that he will endorse, sign and stamp the document at the sum of $98.00 usd only and i believe this process is cheaper for you.

    You need to do everything possible within today and tomorrow to get this process done because our director has called to inform me that the warrant of arrest has been
    signed against you and once it has been approved, then the arrest will be carried out, and from our investigations we learnt that you were the person that forwarded
    your identity to one impostor/fraudsters in Nigeria when he had a deal with you about the transfer of some illegal funds into your bank account which is valued at the
    sum of $10.500,000.00 usd.

    I pleaded on your behalf so that this agency could give you till 5/9/2013 so that you could get this process done because i learnt that you were sent several e-mail
    without getting a response from you, please bear it in mind that this is the only way that i can be able to help you at this moment or you would have to face the law
    and its consequences once it has befall on you. You would make the payment through western union money transfer with the below details.

    NAME: UZOUKWU CLETUS
    ADDRESS: LAGOS NIGERIA
    TEXT QUESTION:FOR
    ANSWER: YOU
    AMOUNT: $98
    Senders name======

    Send the payment details to me which are senders name and address, mtcn number, text question and answer used and the amount sent. Make sure that you didn't hesitate
    making the payment down to the agency by today so that they could have the certificate endorsed, signed and stamped immediately without any further delay. After all
    this process has been carried out, then we would have to proceed to the bank for the transfer of your compensation funds which is valued at the sum of $10.500,000.00
    usd which was suppose to have been transferred to you all this while.

    Note/ all the crimes agencies have been contacted on this regards and we shall trace and arrest you if you disregard this instructions. You are given a grace today to
    make the payment for the document after which your failure to do that will attract a maximum arrest and finally you will be appearing in court for act of terrorism,
    money laundering and drug trafficking charges, so be warned not to try any thing funny because you are been watched.


    THANKS FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION.



    ROBERT MUELLER



    WASHINGTON DC

    Anti-Terrorist and Monetary Crimes Division
    Fbi Headquarters In Washington, D.C.
    Federal Bureau Of Investigation
    J. Edgar Hoover Building
    935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, D.C. 20535-0001 Website: www.fbi.gov


    5/9/13 has already come and gone!!!!

    ACK!
    Don't try to confuse the issue with half-truths and gorilla dust!

  • #2
    Cletus?

    Seriously? Cletus?
    You just wasted six ... no, seven ... seconds of your life reading this sentence.

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    • #3
      That's a very elaborate email - usually they're "send us a blank check, just trust us would we lie to you?"
      <p style="font-size:1024px">HTML is disabled in signatures </p>

      Comment


      • #4
        Tuberski is one of those fundy mormon terrorists?
        Scouse Git (2) La Fayette Adam Smith Solomwi and Loinburger will not be forgotten.
        "Remember the night we broke the windows in this old house? This is what I wished for..."
        2015 APOLYTON FANTASY FOOTBALL CHAMPION!

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        • #5
          You mean in your personal experience, Loin? I used to have a thing for scam-baiting (just reading others' work, never did anything), and lots of 'em started their scripts with walls of text like that.
          1011 1100
          Pyrebound--a free online serial fantasy novel

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          • #6
            I wish I could get paid correcting the grammar for such letters.
            DISCLAIMER: the author of the above written texts does not warrant or assume any legal liability or responsibility for any offence and insult; disrespect, arrogance and related forms of demeaning behaviour; discrimination based on race, gender, age, income class, body mass, living area, political voting-record, football fan-ship and musical preference; insensitivity towards material, emotional or spiritual distress; and attempted emotional or financial black-mailing, skirt-chasing or death-threats perceived by the reader of the said written texts.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Elok View Post
              You mean in your personal experience, Loin? I used to have a thing for scam-baiting (just reading others' work, never did anything), and lots of 'em started their scripts with walls of text like that.
              This is the first interesting email I found in my spam folder

              <p style="font-size:1024px">HTML is disabled in signatures </p>

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              • #8
                Whoops, this is the image that wasn't being displayed, which makes the email not quite so succinct

                <p style="font-size:1024px">HTML is disabled in signatures </p>

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                • #9


                  That guy was just taking a piss at it.
                  DISCLAIMER: the author of the above written texts does not warrant or assume any legal liability or responsibility for any offence and insult; disrespect, arrogance and related forms of demeaning behaviour; discrimination based on race, gender, age, income class, body mass, living area, political voting-record, football fan-ship and musical preference; insensitivity towards material, emotional or spiritual distress; and attempted emotional or financial black-mailing, skirt-chasing or death-threats perceived by the reader of the said written texts.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Colon™ View Post
                    I wish I could get paid correcting the grammar for such letters.
                    "Greetigns i am Fwazule Nkwada the Prince of Nigeria and CEO of Mugu Editors inc. You have been selection for your outstanding editor skills but first you must be paying our New Employee Processing Fee by the Western Union modality..."
                    1011 1100
                    Pyrebound--a free online serial fantasy novel

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