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If God really created Adam and Eve .....

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  • #16
    Opium and/or pot?
    Indifference is Bliss

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    • #17
      I heard a rather good joke on this:

      After much sadness and nagging God agreed to Adam to create his ideal Eve. He said however: "Adam, in order to do all that I will need the following: 1 arm, 1 lung, 1 kidney, 1 testicle and 10 ribs."

      Adam thinks for a while and then asks: "What can I get for 1 rib ?"
      "Ceterum censeo Ben esse expellendum."

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      • #18
        Originally posted by loinburger View Post
        When God cast Adam and Eve out of the garden and decreed that henceforth childbirth would be painful, did he accomplish this by shrinking Eve's vagina? Up until that point did she have an absolutely massive vagina or something? Also, when God said this, how was Eve supposed to have any basis for comparison WRT the pain of childbirth - had she given birth prior to being expelled from the garden? If so, where did these pre-Cain-and-Abel kids go to? Or was it that prior to being expelled from the garden Adam and Eve only had anal/oral sex owing to Adam not enjoying Eve's massive vagina, and hence there weren't any pre-expulsion childbirths? This would still present the problem of how Adam and Even were supposed to know that they were being punished about the whole childbirth thing. "As punishment for your sins, **** will now taste nasty." "But God, we weren't eating **** up until now anyway." "Oh. Well, trust me, **** used to taste awesome, but now it tastes nasty. So there."
        A lot of Republicans are not racist, but a lot of racists are Republican.

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        • #19
          Yeah, like you would know what it tastes like.
          I drank beer. I like beer. I still like beer. ... Do you like beer Senator?
          - Justice Brett Kavanaugh

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          • #20
            Originally posted by Kidicious View Post
            Yeah, like you would know what it tastes like.
            I don't, but I can still appreciate loinburger's vast knowledge of all things important.
            A lot of Republicans are not racist, but a lot of racists are Republican.

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            • #21
              No.
              No, I did not steal that from somebody on Something Awful.

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              • #22
                Originally posted by loinburger View Post
                When God cast Adam and Eve out of the garden and decreed that henceforth childbirth would be painful, did he accomplish this by shrinking Eve's vagina? Up until that point did she have an absolutely massive vagina or something? Also, when God said this, how was Eve supposed to have any basis for comparison WRT the pain of childbirth - had she given birth prior to being expelled from the garden? If so, where did these pre-Cain-and-Abel kids go to? Or was it that prior to being expelled from the garden Adam and Eve only had anal/oral sex owing to Adam not enjoying Eve's massive vagina, and hence there weren't any pre-expulsion childbirths? This would still present the problem of how Adam and Even were supposed to know that they were being punished about the whole childbirth thing. "As punishment for your sins, **** will now taste nasty." "But God, we weren't eating **** up until now anyway." "Oh. Well, trust me, **** used to taste awesome, but now it tastes nasty. So there."
                Dogs know it!
                “As a lifelong member of the Columbia Business School community, I adhere to the principles of truth, integrity, and respect. I will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”
                "Capitalism ho!"

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                • #23
                  more fun with Genesis - after God made Adam he had Adam name the animals, but no helpmate was found - good thing for us some goat didn't catch Adam's eye. And what was that stuff about a man leaving his parents to be joined with the wife? Adam had parents?

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by Berzerker View Post
                    And what was that stuff about a man leaving his parents to be joined with the wife? Adam had parents?
                    That's one of the reasons I don't believe in The Fall doctrine. Obviously God was setting up the institution of the family, which is a good thing.
                    I drank beer. I like beer. I still like beer. ... Do you like beer Senator?
                    - Justice Brett Kavanaugh

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                    • #25
                      whats the fall doctrine?

                      original sin?

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                      • #26
                        Yes. The Fall doctrine is that God created man sinless and because of the original sin mankind is collectively guilty.
                        I drank beer. I like beer. I still like beer. ... Do you like beer Senator?
                        - Justice Brett Kavanaugh

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                        • #27
                          is the fall doctrine an attempt to argue for god's perfection by excluding us from creation via the snake and apple?

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                          • #28
                            Where do the Lilim fit in?
                            “As a lifelong member of the Columbia Business School community, I adhere to the principles of truth, integrity, and respect. I will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”
                            "Capitalism ho!"

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                            • #29
                              Originally posted by Berzerker View Post
                              is the fall doctrine an attempt to argue for god's perfection by excluding us from creation via the snake and apple?
                              I don't think you need the doctrine to argue that God is perfect. I think the doctrine is a weak argument for free will. A better argument for free will is to say that each of us sins because we choose to sin. We exclude ourselves.
                              I drank beer. I like beer. I still like beer. ... Do you like beer Senator?
                              - Justice Brett Kavanaugh

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                              • #30
                                hmm...i agree

                                but doesn't that call into question god's motives?

                                if sin is outside the flow why would god create beings that cant avoid sin?

                                does creation need sin?

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