Transforming into a redneck -- help me fight it

[Flubber]

MY neck gets redder again.

I have the stereotypical Alberta pickup , a cabin in the woods and and I just picked up an all terrain vehicle for my son

here it is -- http://www.google.ca/images?rlz=1T4A...e_result_group -- I thought the side by side is safer-- His is a green camoflauge color

WE are also talking about picking up a pellet gun for him as well so I could soon be a rural, gun-toting, pickup driving Albertan. Oh and I might pick up a used ATV myself so I can go out dune riding with my son-- Will a jacked up mini pickup for jumping the mud pits be next

Can social conservatism, intolerance and homophobia be far away . . .. Will there come a time when Ben Kenobi makes sense to me . . . . How do I fight the transformation-----


So far I am resisting the urge to buy a domestic pickup and I am participating in every orgy involving transsexuals that I can find (demonstrating my open mind while catering to my personal preference for large boobs)--- BUt so far I have not found one !!!-- It appears Calgary is too conservative for such things ( or is it)


Can anyone else suggest any actions to take-----



Note that this post is brought to you by the number 3 and the letter T (and our friends at Smirnoff)-- oh ya and Stephen Colbert--- that dude is funny

So to recap-- Hints requested to fight off the brain damaged attitudes exhibited by SOME social conservatives


By tomorrow I expect some excellent sugge . .. . who am I kidding . . . by tomorrow I expect 6-12 wisecracks, a proposition from Ben to join the dark side and or demonstrate his transexual tendencies and a bit of a headache.

NIght !!

[giblets]

I guess you could try doing something dumb and non-rednecky like becoming a vegetarian or reading books.

[Ben Kenobi]

Can social conservatism, intolerance and homophobia be far away . . .. Will there come a time when Ben Kenobi makes sense to me

Well, from what I can see, your case is terminal. I've never had an ATV. Now you just have to go hunting and your transformation will be complete!

Maybe you should start with fishing. That will help you ease into it and best of all you get fresh food that you can get the wife to cook for you and your family.

[Kidlicious]

You might be a redneck if your whole family is Democrats
'cept little Mary.
She lernt how to read.

[Tuberski]

You might be a redneck if your whole family is Democrats
'cept little Mary.
She lernt how to read.

Nope.

Rednecks are very conservative.

ACK!

[rah]

My father was always a good man. Then he retired to Florida. Then he started watching NASCAR. IT's s slippery slide.

[Felch]

Rednecks are very conservative.

Real rednecks are so conservative that they won't vote for the party of Lincoln.

[Flubber]

My father was always a good man. Then he retired to Florida. Then he started watching NASCAR. IT's s slippery slide.

I still don't like NASCAR

But my son wants to go see "Monster Trucks"

[Kontiki]

Do you remember the moment it occurred to you that moving to Alberta might be a good idea? Yeah, that was the point of no return.

[The Mad Monk]

Try doing some organic gardening; concentrate on bean sprouts for the locovore market.

[OzzyKP]

Embrace it.

[Koyaanisqatsi]

Good news! That's not an ATV, that's a golf cart with a roll bar. You have nothing to fear, riding around the woods in a golf cart is only going to get you mocked by the real rednecks.

[BlackCat]

This color should help - though there could be other sideeffects.

[Ben Kenobi]

I still don't like NASCAR

But my son wants to go see "Monster Trucks"

Bringing him up the right way.

[Ben Kenobi]

Real rednecks are so conservative that they won't vote for the party of Lincoln.

Indeed.