Question about Mary Jane

[Pax]

Okay,
I personally am super paranoid about ingesting narcotics of any sort. I don't want too touch the stuff.
Now here is my question. Let's say you are involved with a girl and she smokes marijuana. If she, somehow gets her fingers in your mouth or your mouth makes contact with an area where the marijuana has been, lets say she keeps the joints under her breasts. What is the likely hood that you pop positive on a drug test?

[C0ckney]

approaching zero.

[Hauldren Collider]

Aren't you a cop?

[Felch]

Zero. The tests are looking for metabolites, which are what your body would produce after the drug passes through the blood stream and is filtered by your organs. Smoking cannabis gets it into your blood stream through the lung capillaries, and it's a very efficient way to get high. When people eat marijuana they cook it in butter or oil to help extract the THC and make it digestable. You can eat a pretty substantial amount of raw marijuana without getting high, since it mostly passes through your GI tract. Licking some sweating tit ain't gonna get you high, and it won't make you fail a piss test.

EDIT: I'm a junkie, not a doctor, so I might be getting some details and terminology wrong here. But I'm confident that my conclusion is accurate.

[Elok]

You can fail a drug test that way, but don't worry! All you have to do is eat a ton of poppyseed bagels; they'll remove all the THC from your system. You can totally trust me on this, I'm on the internet.

[SlowwHand]

A) Pot isn't a narcotic.
B) There's is absolutely no chance.
C) You're possibly the most sheltered person that I've ever known.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

If you're worried, simply avoid any bodily contact with her.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

Actually, you'd be more likely to get a positive drug test result from simply posting on the same forum as Felch.

[Felch]

Actually, you'd be more likely to get a positive drug test result from simply posting on the same forum as Felch.

Being acquainted with me is probable cause in twenty states.

[Pax]

I smoked MJ once when I was 12. Since then I have seen numerous family members/friends **** their lives away starting with smoking MJ. Although, I really don't have anything against smoking marijuana. It's just not for me but I come into contact with numerous people that do it. Most recently, a friend lost her job over a positive urinalysis. When I come into contact with it on the job I am paranoid about touching it. My police friends say all someone has to do to get away from me is throw a bag of marijuana in my face and run.
P.S. I also think that you can be successful and smoke marijuana but for a good portion of society marijuana hampers success. IMHO.

[SlowwHand]

No different than alcohol or bungee jumping or anything else. Moderation is the key. A time and a place for all things.

[Pax]

I used to drink quite a lot and I have a lot of lost days too show for it. I guess someone could be a bungee jumping addict.

[Pax]

I used the sweaty breast as one hypothetical example. Real example, My cousin had a dinner in honor of my sister that passed. When I went to fix myself a plate there was marijuana on a dish inbetween other actual food dishes. This made me extremely paranoid about eating any of the food.

[Kidlicious]

Elok, sorry only junkies on the internet are trustworthy.

I quit doing any drugs at all. I've noticed more strength and energy. Good for you Pax.

[Elok]

Elok, sorry only junkies on the internet are trustworthy.

You do realize that my post was total BS and would guarantee failure of most drug tests, right? Whereas Felch's advice is, AFAIK, medically accurate? You can generally trust drug users to know about passing/failing drug tests. Failing a drug test--->No job--->No money--->No weed. Simple as that.