So a girl asked for my number

[Az]

Hmm... no.
nope. No ****ing way. this didn't happen. Noone can be this clueless over so much time.

You are the best troll ever, though. 10/10, you made me rage.

[MOBIUS]

One day, Al, when you've finally popped your cherry, you're going to look back at threads like these and realise what a douche you were for wasting your time being all chivalrous and gentlemanly waiting for 'the one', or whatever misguided moralistic principles you're clinging onto...

Wouldn't it be ironic if 'the one' rejected you because when the time came, you didn't know where to put it, or what to do...!?

[rah]

I think he needs to get a pet. It certainly couldn't hurt his relationship chances.

[Az]

Eww, rah. That's gross.

[Az]

Like a ****ing car wreck, I cannot take my eyes off. Well done, mother****er, well done. Best troll ever.

Remember, Women fall in love with the men who **** them. NSA sex, if done well, is a very short-lived illusion.

[Lorizael]

Wouldn't it be ironic if 'the one' rejected you because when the time came, you didn't know where to put it, or what to do...!?

No. ****ing Welsh don't understand irony.

[rah]

Eww, rah. That's gross.

To help him get women, not to shag. I guess your pet experiences confused you.

[Flubber]

Look up the stats. They're far higher than you'd think.

I got more play from straight guys than gay in high school and first couple years of university. Or at least, straight enough to now be married or in long-term heterosexual relationships.

Asher-- How traumatic an experience IS sex with you if you turned all those gay guys straight??

[kentonio]

This girl I knew who came back to Philly for grad school asked me a few weeks ago if, hypothetically as women do, she were to ask me if I would have casual sex with her, would I be interested? Before getting your blood boiling, she was not asking me if I wanted to, but asking me if she were to ask me, would I do it, as some sort of meta-question. Of course, I said no.

For **** sake, please tell me that didn't actually happen....

[MOBIUS]

To help him get women, not to shag. I guess your pet experiences confused you.

That's why as is so successful: he only goes after dogs and b1tches...

[Elok]

I don't believe it's actually possible to ask such a question "totally hypothetically." The mere act of asking it, and getting an answer--or even having it shrugged off unanswered--will irrevocably alter the dynamics of the relationship between the two people involved. Maybe it didn't affect Al's perception of things, because he's Al, but his answer necessarily had an effect on the woman, one way or another.

This should not be construed as my endorsement of casual sex, but come on, who the deuce thinks you can ask that kind of question and just leave it at that?

[kentonio]

Exactly. I think it's a safe assumption that no girl in the history of mankind has ever asked someone that question and meant it to be purely 'hypothetical'.

[Elok]

I would like to point out, just to annoy Al, that I am an aspie, and I realized that where he didn't.

[Dinner]

Wrong. Albie needs to get on Grindr, not match.com.

Do you really think Albert Speer has a smart phone?

[Dinner]

Hmm... no.
nope. No ****ing way. this didn't happen. Noone can be this clueless over so much time.

You are the best troll ever, though. 10/10, you made me rage.

Yeah, that quote was so over the top I must conclude either Albie is completely socially incompetent or he really is a DL who is putting us all on.