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Albie, I've recently hired some people. Let me explain to you how I did my selection, and you'll figure out why you never manage to get through the process.
1. I posted the 15 jobs on a careersite.
2. 1650 people applied within a month.
I'm not going to read 1650 CV's.
3. I sent the 1650 people an old, simple academic article which describes the industry and the job types. Question to applicants: Which job are you applying to? And why do you want to do it?
4. 135 people respond. (!!! wtf, the other ~1500 couldn't be bothered ???)
Typical responses that led to the bin heap:
Mr. X: "Is this some kind of game where the prize is a job? I already sent you my CV, I'm not going to read 20 pages."
Answer: "Yes, this is a game, and you failed! Thanks."
Mr. Y, fresh out of college: "Actually, I don't want the job. I want to be your assistant, and give you a fresh perspective on how to explore opportunities for your business."
Answer: "Thanks, but if I need advice I'll ask your contemporary, Dora the explorer."
Mr. Z, gives the 'correct' answer by identifying the job in the article: "I want to work for your company because it looks good on my CV, and I'll do it until I've learned all I can from you. After that it will help me apply for a job at the place where I really want to work (Goldman Sachs), instead of your mediocre company"
I didn't bother to respond to this one..
Mr. Q: "I've tried to read the article. I don't know what the answer is. However, on the career website you more or less define the job, so I've copy-pasted it here for you. I want the job because I need money. Also I'll need a cash advance so that I can buy clothes that go with your 'business casual' requirement"
Answer: "Go right ahead and try and read it again, I'm sure you'll figure out in the process why you're not suitable!"
Out of these 135, about 60 sent reasonable, well-argued responses. I looked at their CV's. I decided to filter for ambition and potential. It's not hard to figure out who has been slacking off, and who has been working their behinds off. I didn't really care what their educational past was, other than that a good degree meant that they were hardworking. After that I check for gaps and appropriate development.
I filtered about 10 out who were too ambitious. I didn't think they would be working for my company very long. These can be instantly recognized through their CV, as they tend to be jobhoppers that stay for a project and then leave for the next if they don't get a promotion directly afterwards. They're not worth my time. I want to invest in people that will reward me with their loyalty. I don't want to be investing in my future competition.
Another 30 were filtered out as they didn't seem ambitious enough. I'm not interested in having employees. I want people that have a mind of their own, who don't need instructions all the time. People who can make well-informed decisions. I don't care if they make mistakes, I want them to make sure they don't do it again!
The ~20 people that were left I scheduled interviews with. At this stage they're practically hired, unless they somehow mess up during the interview. I fired tricky questions, like, "where do you envision yourself 5 years from now? how about 10?" Five of them were foolish enough to answer "at your competitor for a better salary" The others might have thought it, but at least didn't say it.
Out of the 15 survivors, 13 showed up during the first work day. One went MIA (don't know, don't care), the other turned out not to be able to produce a work permit.
Out of the 13, I fired 4 during the first two weeks. They weren't learning quickly enough, so I did them the favour of telling them that they were wasting their and my time.
Out of the 9, 3 quit over the course of the next two weeks. They had covertly been applying to other jobs in the meantime, and found less demanding jobs.
Out of the 6, I fired another 4 over the course of another few months. It wasn't working out. Initially they had shown promise, but they fell into some kind of lazy rut. They were in automaton mode, and not thinking about what they were doing any more. Not adaptable enough.
Now, I've posted another job advert. 2000 people applied so far. Rinse and repeat.
1. I posted the 15 jobs on a careersite.
2. 1650 people applied within a month.
I'm not going to read 1650 CV's.
3. I sent the 1650 people an old, simple academic article which describes the industry and the job types. Question to applicants: Which job are you applying to? And why do you want to do it?
4. 135 people respond. (!!! wtf, the other ~1500 couldn't be bothered ???)
Typical responses that led to the bin heap:
Mr. X: "Is this some kind of game where the prize is a job? I already sent you my CV, I'm not going to read 20 pages."
Answer: "Yes, this is a game, and you failed! Thanks."
Mr. Y, fresh out of college: "Actually, I don't want the job. I want to be your assistant, and give you a fresh perspective on how to explore opportunities for your business."
Answer: "Thanks, but if I need advice I'll ask your contemporary, Dora the explorer."
Mr. Z, gives the 'correct' answer by identifying the job in the article: "I want to work for your company because it looks good on my CV, and I'll do it until I've learned all I can from you. After that it will help me apply for a job at the place where I really want to work (Goldman Sachs), instead of your mediocre company"
I didn't bother to respond to this one..
Mr. Q: "I've tried to read the article. I don't know what the answer is. However, on the career website you more or less define the job, so I've copy-pasted it here for you. I want the job because I need money. Also I'll need a cash advance so that I can buy clothes that go with your 'business casual' requirement"
Answer: "Go right ahead and try and read it again, I'm sure you'll figure out in the process why you're not suitable!"
Out of these 135, about 60 sent reasonable, well-argued responses. I looked at their CV's. I decided to filter for ambition and potential. It's not hard to figure out who has been slacking off, and who has been working their behinds off. I didn't really care what their educational past was, other than that a good degree meant that they were hardworking. After that I check for gaps and appropriate development.
I filtered about 10 out who were too ambitious. I didn't think they would be working for my company very long. These can be instantly recognized through their CV, as they tend to be jobhoppers that stay for a project and then leave for the next if they don't get a promotion directly afterwards. They're not worth my time. I want to invest in people that will reward me with their loyalty. I don't want to be investing in my future competition.
Another 30 were filtered out as they didn't seem ambitious enough. I'm not interested in having employees. I want people that have a mind of their own, who don't need instructions all the time. People who can make well-informed decisions. I don't care if they make mistakes, I want them to make sure they don't do it again!
The ~20 people that were left I scheduled interviews with. At this stage they're practically hired, unless they somehow mess up during the interview. I fired tricky questions, like, "where do you envision yourself 5 years from now? how about 10?" Five of them were foolish enough to answer "at your competitor for a better salary" The others might have thought it, but at least didn't say it.
Out of the 15 survivors, 13 showed up during the first work day. One went MIA (don't know, don't care), the other turned out not to be able to produce a work permit.
Out of the 13, I fired 4 during the first two weeks. They weren't learning quickly enough, so I did them the favour of telling them that they were wasting their and my time.
Out of the 9, 3 quit over the course of the next two weeks. They had covertly been applying to other jobs in the meantime, and found less demanding jobs.
Out of the 6, I fired another 4 over the course of another few months. It wasn't working out. Initially they had shown promise, but they fell into some kind of lazy rut. They were in automaton mode, and not thinking about what they were doing any more. Not adaptable enough.
Now, I've posted another job advert. 2000 people applied so far. Rinse and repeat.
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