Okay, here's my butchery; don't feel obligated to take any of my advice, and don't take it personally, but I wanna tighten this ***** up. My notes are in brackets.
Dear Mrs,
I would like to express my great interest in teaching philosophy at your school. I learned a great deal from a foreign student exchange during my undergraduate studies, and would like to help today's young people deepen their understanding of the world and their place in it.
I am going through the final stages of a M.A. in Philosophy at the University of Montreal, to be completed this spring. In addition, I spent part [or all, or however much] of the past year teaching Latin to high school students. The pleasure of that experience, and the skills I obtained from it, have only strengthened my eagerness to teach. Introducing young adults [you said K-12, are you sure you want "young adults?"] to philosophy now seems a natural next step.
While Latin has been called a dead tongue, I very much enjoyed bringing it to life again in a modern classroom. I anticipate the same fruitful, rewarding experience from introducing young men and women to the great works and milestones of Western [or Eastern, or whatever] thought.
Sincerely yours,
Okay, in some spots I uprooted whole sentences and jammed in new ones. I went in there with a hatchet, but tried to stick to conveying your original ideas. I hope you can use some of that.
EDIT: Al's version is more concise still. Which version is preferable depends on how much our mystery Mrs. likes it fancy.
Dear Mrs,
I would like to express my great interest in teaching philosophy at your school. I learned a great deal from a foreign student exchange during my undergraduate studies, and would like to help today's young people deepen their understanding of the world and their place in it.
I am going through the final stages of a M.A. in Philosophy at the University of Montreal, to be completed this spring. In addition, I spent part [or all, or however much] of the past year teaching Latin to high school students. The pleasure of that experience, and the skills I obtained from it, have only strengthened my eagerness to teach. Introducing young adults [you said K-12, are you sure you want "young adults?"] to philosophy now seems a natural next step.
While Latin has been called a dead tongue, I very much enjoyed bringing it to life again in a modern classroom. I anticipate the same fruitful, rewarding experience from introducing young men and women to the great works and milestones of Western [or Eastern, or whatever] thought.
Sincerely yours,
Okay, in some spots I uprooted whole sentences and jammed in new ones. I went in there with a hatchet, but tried to stick to conveying your original ideas. I hope you can use some of that.
EDIT: Al's version is more concise still. Which version is preferable depends on how much our mystery Mrs. likes it fancy.
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