English speakers: would you please proof read this motivation letter?

[Provost Harrison]

Good! but some corrections have been proposed already, read them before you waste time making the same point.

I've discovered reading other peoples posts here at Apolyton is a waste of effort, so I just wade straight in

[MOBIUS]

Al's is nice and concise, IMO, though maybe a bit too concise for a covering letter(?). You probably need another paragraph about why you actually want to teach in Mexico and what a cool country it is. Do you speak Spanish, looking to improve, link with Latin, morbid fascination in the sacrificial rituals of the Aztecs - flatter her with your knowledge of all things Mexican - but only in a paragraph.

For the love of God ditch this 'I am honoured to write to you...' guff: I am writing to you to express my interest...

Yours Sincerely,

Montezuma Quetzalcoatl Pancho Villa

[Zoetstofzoetje]

There's bunches of examples online. Your letter is nowhere near AA yet.

[The Mad Monk]

Dear Mrs.

Just checking, but is it your intent to address a married woman, or is this the plural of "mister"?

Because it looks like the former.

[Al B. Sure!]

I assume he didn't want to disclose the woman's name on here.

[Elok]

That was what I figured, too.

[The Mad Monk]

How many college administrators do you know of that go by "Mrs.", as opposed to "Ms." or even "Dr." or "Dean"?

[Elok]

I have no idea what the custom is in Mexico. Wait, why is "Ms." more acceptable than "Mrs."? Is it unprofessional to imply that you're married, or what?

[Imran Siddiqui]

The standard is to assume the woman is unmarried unless you have proof otherwise. And then there is nothing wrong with Mrs. if you know that.

[Zoetstofzoetje]

The standard is to assume the woman is unmarried unless you have proof otherwise. And then there is nothing wrong with Mrs. if you know that.

Quite the opposite. Use "Ms.". You don't make assumptions here.

[Fake Boris]

Apparently she is married (she's got two family names).

[DaShi]

Here's my take on it:


Yo Mrs K,

I want to teach at your filosphy school. I've got special skills from learning overseas that may or may not have anything to do with filosophy. But I wanna be a teacher.

This spring I'll be fresh out of college, eager to share my untested ideas with your impressionable young minds. I taught Latin once to inner city high school kids. You know, O Aptainkay My aptainkay! kind of ****. This has somehow given me the skillz to teach philosfy. I wanna teach. Phillosofy is like my life now, for some reason. Plus, I really like kids. They give me pleasure.

There is nothing like seeing some kid wide eyed from what I tell them. It's also best if it all just become a distant memory. So I want to do the same to your kids. I want to tell them about filosofy and **** even though there is no indication that I know anything about it. This is a public shcool in the US, right? Anyway, let me near your kids.

Sincerely yours,

Oncle (If you call me Uncle, I'll **** you up!) Boris

[Zoetstofzoetje]

Apparently she is married (she's got two family names).

This is standard in Spanish-speaking countries. Everybody has two names. Mommy's and daddy's.

[Al B. Sure!]

You ever see Pablo Picasso's whole name?

Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santísima Trinidad Ruiz y Picasso

[notyoueither]

My adjustments for style. Mostly personal taste, but your word order in places indicates a non-native English speaker with lack of experience writing. Probably not what you want to convey.

I am honored to write you today in order to express my great interest in teaching philosophy at your school. Having myself benefitted from a foreign student exchange during my undergraduate studies, I am thrilled at the prospect of helping young people improve their awareness of the world, this time from the other side of a teacher’s desk.

Right now I am going through the final stages of a M.A. in Philosophy at the University of Montreal, which will be completed this spring. However, my eagerness to share what I have learned in the course of my degree does not only stem from my theoretical studies. I have had, this year, the great pleasure of teaching Latin at the high school level while working on my degree. The enjoyment I’ve had from this experience, and the resulting skills I acquired, have only strengthened my desire to pursue the teacher’s vocation. Introducing young adults to philosophy now seems a natural extension of the path I have already set.

There is nothing like the wide eyes of a young person to bring back to life a language whose heyday is but a distant memory. I am looking forward to achieving the same effect when relaying the great works that have shaped human history, so that past ideas are seeded anew into the bright future of young men and women.

Sincerely yours,

These are your words. A bit flowery, but nothing I have not seen on job requests from native English speakers. It shows some creativity and desire to be expressive. I do not know if they want that.