I really don't need more drama in my life . . . .

[MrFun]

So around midnight on Monday night, I had thoughts of suicide, thinking that my financial and unstable work situation is hopeless, and that there's no way out. Like I don't see my life ever getting better. That night, I tried reaching a suicide hotline center but the number didn't work; it just kept ringing, and ringing and not even any voice mail system.

The next morning on Tuesday, I saw my counselor and told him everything and he was surprised that I had thoughts of suicide, as I'm still taking both of my prescriptions regularly. Then that day, I e-mailed my friends and family to let them know what had happened, but that I was feeling better now. I've also talked with a couple of family members on the phone too.

So last night, I stayed up waaaaaay too late, and then sleeping in until 12:30 in afternoon today. When I woke up, then turned my cell phone on, turns out that one of my brothers had tried reaching me three times and by third message, he was sound worried. So as soon as I got dressed, I left him a message even though he was at work, to explain why I had my phone off.

A half hour after I've been up, my mom called me and told me that I gave my family quite a scare when she heard from my brother. So my mom then got hold of the police out here in my area, telling them that I'm depressive and asking them to do a check on me.

Looks like I may be having company soon then, and will be explaining to an officer what actually happened. This shows how much I'm loved, but I was just completely blown away that my mom took such measures so quickly.

[Asher]

Well, it's understandable that they'd get so worried and take those actions given the situation.

But it sounds like you really should be staying with someone.

[ColdWizard]

A turned off cell phone is an expensive ugly paperweight.

[rah]

I keep mine in my briefcase in case of emergencies. Someone at work needing something doesn't qualify.

[Barnabas]

Do you own your own place?

And since you are a Historian or something like that, couldn't you teach in school or high school?

If you are depressed perhaps what you need is a routine that will make you interact with people and meet new people, and be more busy

[MrFun]

I don't think I need to be living with someone to keep an eye on me Asher. The fact that I tried taking some other course of action when I had thoughts of suicide, rather than trying to kill myself may be a sign that I really don't want to kill myself.

Barnabas, I'm unemployed right now since my job as a research associate with Papers of Abraham Lincoln ended at end of June. I don't like the idea of teaching brats; what I am interested in doing, is teaching history at a community college.

But seeing as how unrealistic that is, I am trying to find financing so I can go back to school and pursue a MA in Library Science. But I don't know if that will work out yet. And no, I don't own my own home; I rent an apartment.

On another note, the police officer has not come yet. It's been about an hour or more since my mom had called with that request, so it seems like no one will be coming to my apartment after all.

[Al B. Sure!]

Don't get down. As was shown, people in your life really care about you and would never want to see you do anything to take you out of their lives. You're an intelligent, caring, and sweet man and you'd be doing yourself and the world a great disservice by not being in it. The world needs more people like you. Don't deprive the world of one of the good ones.

Cheer up. No matter what goes on financially or with your job, you can get through it. You've gotten through things before. Don't let anything stop you from being happy and living your dream.

[MrFun]

A turned off cell phone is an expensive ugly paperweight.

I use severed human heads for paper weights.

[ColdWizard]

Barnabas, I'm unemployed right now since my job as a research associate with Papers of Abraham Lincoln ended at end of June. I don't like the idea of teaching brats; what I am interested in doing, is teaching history at a community college.

But seeing as how unrealistic that is, I am trying to find financing so I can go back to school and pursue a MA in Library Science.

Why is teaching history at a CC unrealistic?

I use severed human heads for paper weights.

Stylish

[Asher]

I don't think I need to be living with someone to keep an eye on me Asher.

But it helps fight loneliness, which drives depressive thoughts.

[Theben]

I don't like the idea of teaching brats;

I use severed human heads for paper weights.

The 2nd quote makes the 1st unlikely. That and the whole being gay in middle America thing.

[Barnabas]

Are you flamboyant gay? Pupils would immediately notice you are gay?

[Wiglaf]

Anyone who calls a suicide hotline hoping they can be useful in any way is really just not smart. What you have is a bad case of needing to grow a pair (as evidenced by your constant whining here and to volunteer telephone operators). I've seen people in the Army with three limbs blown off with more balls than you have.

[SlowwHand]

An unstable work situation can't be remedied by suicide. It's a little hard to get a job if you're just going to be laying around.
Who's going to even interview, much less hire, someone like that?

[Ben Kenobi]

Mr. Fun:

Is it possible for you to live with family? You might scoff at that, but I think it would be helpful for you.