Only Spank the Bad Kids

[Donegeal]

You should be able to say "stop" and your kid stops still because it knows you are serious and looking out for them.

Sorry, but if you are not a parent, you have no frame of reference and experience to tell them how they "should" do something.

Ecofarm is arguing an absolute. Generally speaking, an absolute is not a good thing to believe in. There are exceptions for every rule.

[kittenOFchaos]

Spanking is a good thing and brings couples together.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/home/science/Bondage-sex-helps-couples-bond/articleshow/4341683.cms

[aneeshm]

Link



Does it occur to the researchers that the spanking might be a result of the behavior and not the cause? You really don't need to spank the kids who listen and behave, or respond to other forms of discipline. However, the kids who are "naturally" more physical might respond better/worse to physical repremand.

IMO, this study is stupid and shows nothing other than we can infer what we want from any isolated case study. Maybe what we should get out of this study is that children who are spanked more often are more likely to have parents who spanked them... oi vey

Did this study control for heredity, or the heritability of the behaviour in question?

[aneeshm]

It's interesting that those that defend spanking of children would surely think it unacceptable to smack around their wives.

Depends on the marriage contract. I'd personally find one which allow corporal punishment bizarre and just wrong, but it's still finally the decision of the people involved.

[Ecofarm]

Yeah, it's definately the decision of the people involved. Everyone knows most wives are totally cool with getting smacked around.

[Wezil]

Indeed, most young women I've talked to are looking forward to such a relationship.

[aneeshm]

Yeah, it's definately the decision of the people involved. Everyone knows most wives are totally cool with getting smacked around.

*Sigh*

Is it really that hard to understand what I have said? Is libertarianism that hard to understand? If there's something which two people have agreed to when both are sound of mind and qualified to make the decision, I'm not going to second-guess them. I agree that the vast majority of people - including me - would find such behaviour repugnant to the moral sense. But as always, the fact that I would find this bizarre or wrong in no way means that I should prevent other people, who do not so find it, from engaging in it.

(To clarify what I'm saying with an example: I don't attempt to criminalise BDSM (or many other sexual fetishes), and I don't think you would either. The key here is that both the people involved are fine with whatever they're doing. If, in some strange context, an arrangement such as the one I described is amenable to them, I do not think it correct to stop them, for precisely the same reason.)

[Ecofarm]

qualified to make the decision

Well, let's establish that first in any case.

[giblets]

Depends on the marriage contract. I'd personally find one which allow corporal punishment bizarre and just wrong, but it's still finally the decision of the people involved.

Is this just some absurd hypothetical or are you dumb enough to want a law saying that "corporal punishment" can be in the marriage contract?

[Imran Siddiqui]

Well, let's establish that first in any case.

This sort of reasoned concern usually doesn't do anything when discussing things with aneeshm.

[ricketyclik]

Also I think nonspanking options work pretty well in small families of 1 - 2 children, Larger families of children close in age, it is simply too difficult to fairly administer many nonspanking methods in young children. My 6 children were born over a 9 year period.

This is an interesting observation. I have 3 children, with a gap of 7 years between the 1st and 2nd, and 19 months between the second and third. We've raised them all without spanking, quite successfully if I do say so myself, however I do find that the 2nd and 3rd aren't nearly as responsive to reason as the first was when she was an only child. They escape their negative feelings from disapproval from their parents by seeking an alliance with their siblings, making negative feedback a lot less effective.

So the second and third took a lot more effort with the non-corporal approach. I can imagine with 6 closely spaced children that even-tempered, relatively gentle spanking might be the best practical solution to efficiently getting the desired message across.

I do believe, however, that it is a very difficult thing to teach a child genuine non-violent attitudes while using corporal punishment on them.

[aneeshm]

Is this just some absurd hypothetical or are you dumb enough to want a law saying that "corporal punishment" can be in the marriage contract?

It's an absurd hypothetical, of course, but if someone who is that absurd wants to actually do it, I'd be fine with respecting their wishes.

[TCO]

More aggression could be an upside, if it is properly channeled. Anyhow, whatever their controls were, I think a double blind study would have been better.