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What is the meaning of culture to you? What culture do you belong to? How important to you is it that you belong to that culture?
I very nearly got into a physical fight with my sister (she outweighs me by 30+ pounds and is a former powerlifter/youth martial arts/track&field/basketball/all american athlete, I am a geek) which she would have, for obvious reasons, most likely would have won. We were drinking and somehow we got into discussing culture and I mentioned that I do not feel complete. I feel that the culture of the European immigrants has been so diluted that all I am is white. I get blamed for issues that my family never played a part in, slavery, genocide of the Native Americans, etc, and yet I don't feel that I get any amount of benefit that outweighs the amount of discrimination I receive. I realize that people belonging to minority groups receive a different type of racism, but I can't even talk to my neighbor without the feeling that he expects me to somehow be taking advantage of him. Or talk to a native american without feeling as though they secretly blame me for the death of their great grandmother who died of smallpox.
I want to be able to leave the house on equal footing with every other man in my neighborhood. I don't want to be a white American. I don't want to leave the house thinking about how certain families owned slaves and therefore I should take pity on blacks. I don't want to think about how marijuana is illegal because my government doesn't like Mexicans. While I realise such things never even cross the mind of the common man they are very much a part of our everyday lives.
I am just frustrated, I wish I had never been born in the United States. I wish the very idea of a cultural melting pot had never existed. All it is is a place where nobody has an identity and we are all forced to feel shame for things that occurred outside of our lifetimes.
I can't even get into a fight with anyone to take out my frustration because I would end up in prison and be unable to pursue a career in anything worth while.
My sister doesn't get it. My mother doesn't get it. They don't see any divides in modern culture yet to me it is as clear as day. It would also seem to be as clear as day to the minorities I encounter on a daily basis who hang their head and call me sir. I don't ****ing want to be 'sir', I want to be a man, just a normal human being. I want to be on equal footing with everyone.
I don't ****ing want to be white, I want to be Irish, or German, or English, anything other than the ****ing cracker ass white bread American I am. I feel so worthless on a cultural level, all I have to offer is economic gain and work that would put me on par with an assassin. I feel like the stereotype of a Jew with none of the history.
I could move to Europe, but they would all call me American. I could embrace the American heritage, but for what? We are so spineless that we cater to people who make up less than 15% of our total population. We print money by the billions so Jews can continue to create neutron bombs. For all intent purposes we sell our souls to China so we can buy more mansions and fast cars, so the Paris Hiltons can entertain our children. Where is the strength in any of it? We go to war so certain companies can make more money, we don't go to war for any philosophical or moral reasons, or even because we are actually threatened. I feel no obligation to protect a person because they call themselves American. If anything I think I should throw them in front of a bus so we don't have to pay the costs of putting their future children through special education.
I can't be what my ancestors were because they chose to move to America.
I am a white American.
What does that mean?
Why should I take pride in that?
I very nearly got into a physical fight with my sister (she outweighs me by 30+ pounds and is a former powerlifter/youth martial arts/track&field/basketball/all american athlete, I am a geek) which she would have, for obvious reasons, most likely would have won. We were drinking and somehow we got into discussing culture and I mentioned that I do not feel complete. I feel that the culture of the European immigrants has been so diluted that all I am is white. I get blamed for issues that my family never played a part in, slavery, genocide of the Native Americans, etc, and yet I don't feel that I get any amount of benefit that outweighs the amount of discrimination I receive. I realize that people belonging to minority groups receive a different type of racism, but I can't even talk to my neighbor without the feeling that he expects me to somehow be taking advantage of him. Or talk to a native american without feeling as though they secretly blame me for the death of their great grandmother who died of smallpox.
I want to be able to leave the house on equal footing with every other man in my neighborhood. I don't want to be a white American. I don't want to leave the house thinking about how certain families owned slaves and therefore I should take pity on blacks. I don't want to think about how marijuana is illegal because my government doesn't like Mexicans. While I realise such things never even cross the mind of the common man they are very much a part of our everyday lives.
I am just frustrated, I wish I had never been born in the United States. I wish the very idea of a cultural melting pot had never existed. All it is is a place where nobody has an identity and we are all forced to feel shame for things that occurred outside of our lifetimes.
I can't even get into a fight with anyone to take out my frustration because I would end up in prison and be unable to pursue a career in anything worth while.
My sister doesn't get it. My mother doesn't get it. They don't see any divides in modern culture yet to me it is as clear as day. It would also seem to be as clear as day to the minorities I encounter on a daily basis who hang their head and call me sir. I don't ****ing want to be 'sir', I want to be a man, just a normal human being. I want to be on equal footing with everyone.
I don't ****ing want to be white, I want to be Irish, or German, or English, anything other than the ****ing cracker ass white bread American I am. I feel so worthless on a cultural level, all I have to offer is economic gain and work that would put me on par with an assassin. I feel like the stereotype of a Jew with none of the history.
I could move to Europe, but they would all call me American. I could embrace the American heritage, but for what? We are so spineless that we cater to people who make up less than 15% of our total population. We print money by the billions so Jews can continue to create neutron bombs. For all intent purposes we sell our souls to China so we can buy more mansions and fast cars, so the Paris Hiltons can entertain our children. Where is the strength in any of it? We go to war so certain companies can make more money, we don't go to war for any philosophical or moral reasons, or even because we are actually threatened. I feel no obligation to protect a person because they call themselves American. If anything I think I should throw them in front of a bus so we don't have to pay the costs of putting their future children through special education.
I can't be what my ancestors were because they chose to move to America.
I am a white American.
What does that mean?
Why should I take pride in that?
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