Airplane Characters

[DirtyMartini]

To digress slightly, I loathe the whole airport/airplane experience so much I can hardly stand it. It is barely worth it to me to go on vacation because I must spend 6-12 hours in airports/airplanes each way. (Just back from SF/Napa by the way).

I'm 6'0 180 lb. 42R. You could not put 140 of me on a commercial airliner without having all the aisle seat mes leaning into the aisle and all the window seat mes hitting the side of the plane. Both would still be rubbing shoulders with the me in the middle. Absurd. Exit rant mode.

[rah]

6"2 160 42L so I know the feeling. As much as dislike it, the alternatives suck even worse since the airplane experience is over much quicker. But I will admit that with the newer security and the need to be at the airport earlier, the range I'll choose to drive has increased.

[DirtyMartini]

I figure i'm pretty medium sized which makes it even more absurd, there are plenty of people bigger than me for whom it sucks even harder, such as yourself.

[Ben Kenobi]

Oh, also, BK? WTF?

Was a gag on SOAP, which for some reason this thread reminded me.

[Kitschum]

I like long flights, especially when there's free drinks. It's very relaxing and then with the intimacy of the tiny seats it can be a very sensual experience.

[Alinestra Covelia]

When I was in high school in the UK I had to fly back to China three times every year. That was a pain and a half.

Now I'm an adult and I haven't left the country in four years.

(Well, unless you count Canada. Which might be a reasonable exception.)

[Dis]

I"m slim shady. I pay good money, I want to see scenery dammit!! What sucks was flying over greenland which I found fascinating. but didn't think to bring my sunglasses . It was too bright to look at.

[Dis]

"don't call me shirley"

name the character or actor who says that.

[FrostyBoy]

When I was in high school in the UK I had to fly back to China three times every year. That was a pain and a half.

Now I'm an adult and I haven't left the country in four years.

(Well, unless you count Canada. Which might be a reasonable exception.)

Back to China? Are you Chinese?

---

I once experienced an old lady walk to the door playing around with the handles, etc. I started to tense up a bit and wondered why the staff weren't doing anything!

[Zevico]

Back to China? Are you Chinese?

It would be more interesting if she was going to either (a) make a hackneyed back to the future style movie set in china, or (b) hop into the Delorean and (i) stop her dad from falling in love with her in the past, so he can meet her mom, and also stop Mao/Chiang Hai Shek from taking over China; and (ii) go to the future to stop some bizarre bully in her highschool from taking over her village; and (iii) go to the past to incongruously leave Doc behind and leave the present practically unchanged.

But yes, I think she's Chinese.

[Darius871]

After long flights (10.5 Hours) to and from London, I noticed the following Airplane characters:

Johnny Jump-Up - This guy (and it is almost always a guy) has his seatbelt off and is out of his seat grabbing his bags from the overhead before the wheels of the plane even touch the runway.

Carry-On Clarice - Clarice has a purse, laptop, suit bag, and a rolling suitcase that is larger than the monster suitcase you checked. She will whack people on both sides of the aisle with her bags and offer a curt sorry. Then she realizes she is on the wrong side and has to go back against the grain dealing out blows as she goes.

Overhead Bin Owen - Owen will never put his stuff in his own empty overhead bin. He will stuff it into yours, crushing whatever you have.

Slim Shady - Slim will keep the window shades open so that anyone within ten rows will be blinded and unable to watch a movie or sleep.

Morse Code Marvin - A relative of Slim Shady, Marvin will open his window shade every few minutes, sending a blast of light through the plane like a Morse Code signal.

Jumping Jack - Not to be confused with Johnny Jump-Up, Jack will jump up every seven minutes, slam open the overhead bin, and rummage through his carryon, loudly zipping and unzipping it, making sure to close the bin with a bang when he’s done.

Chatty Cathy - Cathy will start a conversation, especially if you are watching the movie, reading your book, or sleeping.

Cockpit Clem - Clem will call from the cockpit, waking you up or interrupting the movie to inform you of the weather, visibility, windspeed, and all the landmarks you could see if only it was light out.

Crown Heirs - The royal heirs run up and down the aisles yelling and playing while their parents look on lovingly. If the heirs sit behind you, you seat will be kicked all flight long.

Cry Babies - Squalling babies will be present in direct proportion to the length of the flight. On your little propeller flight of 30 minutes there will never be a baby. On your ten hour flight, there will be no less than twenty screaming babies.

Anybody have any other annoying airplane characters?

What's all this crap about noises interrupting your movie? Don't you have headphones?

[OzzyKP]

And eddie must claim both arm rests.

The guy stuck being in the middle seat should have both arm rests.

[Tuberski]

"don't call me shirley"

name the character or actor who says that.

Leslie Nielsen, Doctor Rumack.

ACK!

[Solomwi]

Leslie Nielsen, Doctor Rumack.

ACK!

Dammit, how did I know, when scrolling down to see if it had been answered, that you'd be the one to have answered it. Since I'm posting anyway...

Ted Striker

[Grandpa Troll]

Douche-baguette: This femme fatale has not had time for a shower or other personal hygiene ablutions and has unsuccessfully attempted to hide it beneath fire-tongues of scent. The overall effect is to make her reek like an unshaven well-loved armpit full of yeast and Eau du toilette.

So your saying she is a problem?