WELL WELL WELL. I am SORRY TO HEAR OF YOUR PREDICAMENT. If it's any consolation I nearly starved to death earlier this month when my maid, who I still have not fired because I'm planning how to ruin her life when she least expects it, took my wallet when I was out banging an office assistant. I would offer you a place to stay but your situation is not nearly as dire. Live in Alexandria, where everything is cheap and the women are stupid and hot, and commute into D.C. via metro. Rent is as low as $600 a month, probably lower for Jews. Godspeed, I'm totally getting laid tonight.
![Mad](https://apolyton.net/core/images/smilies/mad.gif)
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