American taste for soft toilet roll 'worse than driving Hummers'
Extra-soft, quilted and multi-ply toilet roll made from virgin forest causes more damage than gas-guzzlers, fast food or McMansions, say campaigners
C'mon you pussies, get rubbing with a good old piece of recycled sandpaper between your soft Yank candy-asscheeks for the good of the planet!
![I said do it!!](https://apolyton.net/core/images/smilies//doitnow3.gif)
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