What can I talk to about with a hot art history major?

[MrFun]

Someday, you'll grow up and come to realize that there's nothing wrong with the fact that not everyone is like you.

[Asher]

Not everyone does need to be like me. But I would appreciate if people put more effort into their careers.

Art history...seriously? How much of art history has changed in the past 100 years that it needs to be studied by so many people?


How many people with art history degrees do anything related to art history? Prince William got his art history degree and promptly did what with it?



The art history is pretty much the king of useless degrees and aimless students.

[Asher]

http://www.holytaco.com/2008/06/03/the-10-most-worthless-college-majors/

College is a great place to learn and have fun. But let’s not kid ourselves, some degrees are as useless as the plot in a Michael Bay film. Here’s a list of 10 degrees that may be interesting, but do jack **** for you in the real world.

10. Art History

Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: With an art history degree you could maybe curate an art gallery or work at a museum or….yeah, that’s it. That’s all you can do. And seeing as how every art gallery and museum I’ve ever been to has exactly one dude sitting quietly at a desk reading a New Yorker and eating a food that requires chopsticks, I’m going to go ahead and assume there’s not a lot of positions open in the field. That means you’re going to have to venture out into the corporate world. And let me inform you, when you’re interviewing with Bob from the HR team at Wal-Mart who’s wearing a tie that has the twin towers smoking with writing underneath that says “We Will Never Forget,” your art history degree says to him “I’m a commie a-hole who thinks I’m better than guys with 9/11 ties.”

What Job You’ll End Up With: After your parents boot your ass from your bedroom to make room for anything that’s not your bedroom, you’ll wander towards the nearest coffee shop and get a job there, which will allow you to meet artists who will thank you for allowing them to put fliers by the cash register that inform people of their upcoming show that touts “the combination of art and flute.”

9. Philosophy

Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: This isn’t ancient Greece: No one is going to pay you money, or allow you to sodomize their attractive son, in exchange for your knowledge of existence. Never has there been an employer who’s said “Man, we’re having all kinds of problems, I wish we had someone on our team who could reference and draw conclusions from the story of Siddhartha that would pull up our fourth quarter numbers.” I took many philosophy classes and it involved reading and smoking a **** pile of weed. You don’t need to pay 20,000 dollars a year to do that. All you need is twenty dollars and a library card.

What Job You’ll End Up With: Thanks to your extensive knowledge of philosophy, you’re now self-aware enough to know that most jobs out there will make you totally miserable. So most likely you’ll wait tables part time and hope someone starts paying you for the bi-monthly entries on your blog.

8. American Studies

Why It Won't Help You Get a Job: If you're not named Achmed or Bjork or G'Day Mate this isn't a degree, it's the last 18 years of your life. If you really want to study us you don't need to go to some stupid class, you need only to sit back and watch a two-hour block of Must-See TV to understand The American. After doing my own research, it seems that this mysterious creature is a pot-bellied humanoid with a hot wife and bad credit who has a penchant for low-calorie beer, Chilis, Applebees, TGIFridays, Denny's, McDonald's, Taco Bell, Dave and Busters, Steak and Shake, Chilis (again) and Red Lobster. Oh and he can totally demolish a White Castle Crave Case in, like, 20 seconds. OK, now give me my degree.

What Job You’ll End Up With: To take your American Studies degree one step further, you will be qualified to do 40-50 years of “graduate work” cleaning tables and taking orders at a Chilis, Applebees, TGIFridays or Red Lobster. Or possibly Denny’s.

7. Music Therapy

Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: I didn’t even know this was a major until I found it on the Appalachian State website. According to their actual explanation of this major: “Music therapy is the scientific application of the art of music within a therapeutic relationship to meet the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs of individuals.” Which is a big, fancy way of saying “We’ll teach you how to make a mix tape.” I guess I, too, am a qualified music therapist because my “Summer Jams ‘95” tape I made in the 10th grade totally rocked my house party. All my friends told me that kicking it off with Wreckz-N-Effects “Rump Shaker” followed by Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise” totally met their physical, mental and spiritual needs to help them get wasted on my dad’s Schnapps and Drambuie.

What Job You’ll End Up With: After realizing that yoga studios and elderly homes don’t pay people just to come in and set mood music, you’re sadly going to end up putting your degree towards burning a fire to keep warm because you are homeless.

6. Communications

Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: Go into a communications class on any given day and it’ll smell like dried semen and booze. Reason being, communications is the major for anyone who wants to graduate, but doesn’t want to stop getting totally wasted on weekdays. Here’s the bad news, if an employer is going to hire someone to help decipher how human beings communicate, he’s going to hire someone with the letters “Dr.” before their name, not the person who first checks to see if a class is offered online, then when they find out it’s not, let’s out a “gaaaaay bro.”

What Job You’ll End Up With: You’ll go to several job interviews that turn out to be pyramid schemes, even though at first you won’t realize this and come home and tell your parents, who you still live with, “They said I’ll probably be making six figures in less than a year just by selling these beer cozies.”

5. Dance

Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: Despite what “Dancing with the Stars” and “High School Musical” may tell you, there aren’t a lot of dancing jobs out there—so you better be good because there aren’t any gigs for mediocre dancers. Outside of New York City or some crap in LA there is absolutely nothing you can do with a dance degree that doesn’t involve actually dancing for money. And since the Des Moines interpretive dance movement hasn’t really taken off yet, you have a better chance landing a job as an 8-Track repairman or a member of the Beatles.

What Job You’ll End Up With: After moving to New York and trying out for Hello Dolly! or Damn Yankees or any of the other seven Broadway plays that want dancers and not landing a single one because you got your dance degree from Ball State, you will find ample opportunity to show off your choreographic skills at one of the city’s many strip clubs. You’ll just need to change your name to Crystal or Bambi and you’ll be able finally live out your dream as a dancer. (Mom and Dad will be so proud!)

4. English Lit

Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: If someone can spend a weekend with a box of Cliff’s Notes and have only a slightly less conversational knowledge of what you spent 4 years studying, you probably don’t have the most employer friendly degree. Having an English Lit degree is like being a member of the Kansas City Royals: No one cares and the best you can hope for is every once in a while someone buys you a beer because of it.

What Job You’ll End Up With: You can read and comprehend, so that gives you an advantage over 99.5% of the people that peruse Craig’s list job listings. Therefore, you’ll most likely end up landing an entry level position at a random small company, or showing up to your interview and being raped repeatedly by a group of masked men.

3. Latin

Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: Not only does no one speak this language anymore, but we already have all the Latin that exists in the world. There’s no new Latin that’s hot off the presses that needs immediate translating. I’m no business major, but majoring in a language that doesn’t exist anymore doesn’t sound so good for job security. And I’m sorry to break the news to you, but the world doesn’t need someone to translate The Bible or the inscription on the side of a Post Office or El Loco Latino’s “Latin House Party.”

What Job You’ll End Up With: Since you majored in something that doesn’t exist, you’re going to have two jobs. Your first one will be as the annoying pretentious guy who gives everyone the Latin etymology of every big word he hears at every dinner party he attends. Your second, and most lucrative job, will be as a Subway Sandwich Artist.

2. Film

Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: No one in hollywood gives a **** that you made a short film about an alcoholic albino that discovers the meaning of life through the help of a retarded child. Unless that retarded child was played by the son of Harvey Weinstein, your film or degree will be as pointless as the last three seasons of Lost

What Job You’ll End Up With: If you’re lucky, you’ll have an uncle who can get you a job as a production assistant on CSI Miami, where your time will be spent making coffee runs and finding whores that will let David Caruso pee on them.

1. Religion

Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: Sorry God, but a major in Religion is about as worthless as St. Brice (The Patron Saint of Stomach Aches.) Even Duke University can’t put a solid sell on this degree: “A major in religion offers intellectual excitement and can be a pathway to a liberal education.” OK, you sold me. So now I get to shell out about a hundred thousand dollars so I can know what to wear to a Shinto ceremony and learn how many virgins Allah will give me if I blow myself up in an Israeli square? If it’s OK with you, I’ll keep my money and stick to my sinning-a-lot-now-and-repenting-on-my-deathbed plan.

What Job You’ll End Up With: This one is tricky. On one hand you’ll probably end up working behind the desk of a Christian Science Reading Room. But on the other, you may end up with everlasting peace and spiritual enlightenment. Let’s call it a draw.

[Barnabas]

Ask her " Why did renaissance people draw women so fat?"

[Naked Gents Rut]

Prince William got his art history degree and promptly did what with it?

Actually, Prince William has the family collection and financial wherewithal to become a very successful art dealer if he so chooses.

[Asher]

Originally posted by Naked Gents Rut


Actually, Prince William has the family collection and financial wherewithal to become a very successful art dealer if he so chooses.

But he's not an art dealer, is he.

[Felch]

Originally posted by Patroklos
I used to be you. I didn't get laid back then.

Well the trick is to recognize warning signs of platonic friendship, and then cut everything off.

If she's not down to ****, then what do you need her for? You got friends, you don't need anymore.

Caveat to that - if she has hot friends, it might be worthwhile to use her to get to them. In that case, be civil, and don't burn the bridge. But keep focused. Always focus.

[Fake Boris]

The job prospects for philosophy majors aren't that bad. Teaching, HR, journalism, advertising, diplomacy...

In this regard, Art History is really worse.

[Fake Boris]

Originally posted by Barnabas
Ask her " Why did renaissance people draw women so fat?"

QFT. Especially if the girl is not exactly thin. Tell her you love the beauty standards of the Renaissance.

[Pekka]

NGggh, this has nothing to do with anything!

Art history major hardly makes one an intellectual. It just makes her unemployed in the future. Now, she probably has an ego you want to be stroking, she wants to see herself as superior to you. Not in a bad way, but in intellectual or "taste" way anyway. She doesn't want you to be stupid. But not as good as her.

Let her live in that little dream world of hers, and this in turn makes YOU the superior one. You see, when you are letting her control, it is you who are in control. Example, make sure you allow her to talk all about herself. The more she talks about herself, the better she feels about you. I know, it's weird! But that's the way most people are.

If you are an intellectual, or close to one, hot women will not approach you. They are deadly afraid of you, as you will expose their weakness to themselves. Usually, it is an overcompensation because of insecurities in this area. Not EVERYONE, but most. There are of course few exceptions.

Have you ever wondered why hot chicks go with douchebags when they're young, but then it turns around when people get older? It's because they are super insecure about their airheads. So to have a douche is to have all your buttons stroked, and none of your insecurities exposed. Thus, feeling good about yourself ensues.

THis is the key. None of the crap about anything matters, if she feels good about HERSELF with you, she will like you. She might even fall for you. This is not an ego thing, this is how people function. IT means they feel good and you are a factor in it, thus they like you. So it doesn' tmatter who they are, just make them feel good, now she is a smart type, so you've got to figure a way to do it. Talking about herself is always a good one. Ask about art, ask about her favourite work, and then ask HOW SHE FEELS ABOUT IT. Ok? Then you can establish a rapport better, you can say, that's like how you feel when you do X. Describe how it feels. Make her go to that place. Tadaaa! She feels good, and you are there. You must be special.

Then go and get that ass.

[Flubber]

I think the best conversation would be one where she descibed the colors she saw while experiencing her third orgasm with you. If you want she could then go on to compare and contrast that with the colors and textures or her favorite artist for each of the last few centuries


No seriously--- I like the advice of a few posters here-- you don't need to be an expert in her field. Regardless of what a girl does or is interested in


1. Ask her about her interests
2. Appear interested in her response. Actually BEING interested in her response is even better. I generally found this easy because there are very few topics where I couldn't find a slant that interested me*
3. At some point very early, kiss her. With a potential girlfriend it is possible to attempt the bedroom too early but it is almost never too early for a single tender kiss. This generally avoids the "friend trap" and dude if she gets all upset, she probably wasn't wanting anything more than frineds anyway

4. make eye contact-- if you know how to do this, you will KNOW very very early if she is into you at all



*Asterisked point-- Asher --- even computer engineering or software design. I could ask you questions about why some of the bigest softwware products from major corps seem bloated and inefficient and ask about the impediments your profession faces-- Asked well it would give you a chance to talk about your profession -- likley by railing against the inefficiences and stupidity of the marketing team, the corporate suits that make impractical decisions etc etc-- But it would be more interesting than talking about code.

THat said, I rarely talk to my wife about my job anymore or vice versa. We each already know the basic job of the other so conversations about work are usually more about office politics. I never tell her how I "nailed that indemninty clause today"

[Propaganda]

You can talk about the history of sex, and feminism.

[C0ckney]

just talk to the girl hera. be interesting, be funny and listen to her. it's not exactly rocket science.

[Zkribbler]

Ask her what her favorite art period is, and why?

Ask her what she thinks of Islamic art. Depictions of anything in Heaven or on Earth is forbidden, so geometic forms are big. Islamic art had a major influence on M.C. Esher.

Does she prefer the marble statues of Greece or the bronze statues of Rome?

What is her favorite museum: The Louvre in Paris, the Hermitage in St. Petersburg, the Vatican, etc?

Has she ever posed naked?

[Sirotnikov]

well it all depends.

you should first find out how sensitive she is to the subject.

if she's very sensitive then you can't make jokes about it.

if she isn't too sensitive you can make jokes, and you should, every once in a while.

chicks dig it when they're teased and made fun of. just make sure you have a good feel for where the line is.

i managed to ruin several perfectly good teasing sessions with my g/f by going too far.